


Life of the Party

by NamineNobodyKiari



Series: My All Time Low [1]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), All Time Low (Band), Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, One Direction (Band), Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Ashton and Luke are cousins, Cake only hooks up, Drug Use, M/M, Makeover, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-05-27 12:52:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 49
Words: 82,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15025004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NamineNobodyKiari/pseuds/NamineNobodyKiari
Summary: Ashton Irwin was in love with his cousin’s best friend, Michael.The problem with that was that Michael only saw him as one of the guys.When Ashton comes back from summer vacation with a brand new look, suddenly he is catching the eye of everyone around him, including Michael. Soon Michael shows just how jealous he can be, causing Ashton to pull farther away.After attending a party thrown by someone he just met, Ashton finds a new group of friends, as well as a new romantic interest. The more time he spends with these new friends though, the more jealous Michael seems to become. And why is he just now finding out about things that his original friends have apparently been keeping from him?Follow Ashton Irwin as he struggles to deal with life as a high schooler, new and old friends, as well as trying to stay mentally stable.





	1. Characters

**Author's Note:**

> Here is how each character looks (and their sexualities) at the beginning of this story, if they change I will add a new picture.

First up, the 5 Seconds of Summer Guys:

Ashton - Gay

 

Michael - Gay

 

Luke - Doesn't like labels

 

Calum - Bisexual

 

Next up, the One Direction Guys:

Louis - Gay

 

Harry - Gay

 

Niall - Pansexual

 

Liam - Gay

 

Zayn - Bisexual

 

 

********************************************************************************

**UPDATE: I am now updating this list to include all the new characters I decided to add.**

********************************************************************************

The Panic! at the Disco guys:

Brendon

Ryan

Dallon

Spencer

Jon

The Fall Out Boy guys:

Pete

Patrick

Andy

Joe

The All Time Low guys:

Alex

Jack

The My Chemical Romance guys:

Gerard

Frank

Mikey


	2. Troubled Love

**Ashton’s POV**

I looked across the crowded hallway and saw my cousin Luke talking to his best friend Michael. I couldn’t help but zone out for a minute, thinking of how amazing he looked, before hearing Louis yelling in my ear calling my name. “Ash, earth to Ashton.” And remembered I was in the middle of a conversation with one of my closest friends, who lived a couple hours away.

“Huh, yeah?” I asked dumbly into the phone, trying to turn my attention back to the call.

“You back with us there buddy?” He asked with a laugh.

“Yeah, sorry, just zoned out for a minute.” I answered turning back to my locker, hoping that he didn’t realize why.

“Michael again?” He asked. He was one of the few people who knew just how much I liked my cousin’s best friend.

“Yeah, he dyed his hair again, red this time. And he’s wearing that leather jacket and skinny jeans. God, he looks amazing.” I sighed as I glanced back again before quickly turning back to my locker before he could catch me.

“Yeah, and he still hasn’t noticed you’re anything more than Luke’s cousin, has he?” He asked, not being rude, just trying to ask.

“Not yet,” I sighed again. “You know what? I’m gonna do it, I’m gonna ask him out, right now.”

“Are you sure?” Louis asked me, sounding shocked. I had jokingly said it before, but I meant it now.

“Yeah, it’s now or never, right?” I asked before turning pleading. “Please stay on the phone with me, I’ll either want you to be the first to know or need you for support.”

“Of course Ash, I’ll be right here for you.” I knew if it was a positive answer then I would want to tell him first, and if not that he would help pull me through.

“Thanks Lou, I’ll be right back.” I said before locking my phone and sliding it in my pocket. I grabbed my books and shut my locker before turning back towards Michael and Luke. “I can do this, I can do this.” I muttered to myself under my breath, wringing my hands in nervousness as I walked through the crowd. “Hey Mikey,” I started with a shy smile, sending a small wave to Luke behind him. “Um, I was wondering what you were doing after school? If you’re free maybe you could come over, we could maybe watch a movie or something?” I asked nervously playing with my long blond hair. The last thing I expected was for Luke to be the one who answered me.

“Sounds great, we’ll be there at four, is that alright?” Luke asked. I fought to not let the disappointment show on my face as I answered.

“Uh, yeah, four is perfect.” I said fixing my glasses in an attempt to hide my face a little.

“Great, a guy’s night is just what we need to start this summer off.” Michael added with a smile, giving me a pat on the back as they turned and left. I fought to keep my composure as I made my way to the bathroom, checking it was empty before pulling my phone back out. Although I couldn’t help but be disappointed, his smile had made me feel better, it always did. That smile was the first thing I had noticed when I met him, then how green his eyes were.

“Lou? Are you still there?” I asked, hearing my voice crack. I cleared my throat to try to keep it from doing it again.

“Yeah babe, I’m still here. I heard everything, that was harsh. First, your own cousin thinking you were trying to hang out with everyone. Then, Michael calling you one of the guys.” He said sympathetically, and I could almost see the look on his face.

“I know Lou, I don’t know what to do. My parents are leaving tomorrow night for the summer, I’m supposed to spend the summer with Luke. Mikey is always there, I can’t do this.” I said trying not to break down.

“Come spend some time with Harry and I love, maybe if you get away for a bit you’ll feel better.” He answered. _Honestly, that sounded like the best plan in the world._

“Are you sure it’s alright?” I asked, unsure, and not wanting to put them out.

“Of course, we’d love to have you. Wouldn’t we Harry?” He asked. I could hear Harry in the background answering in the affirmative, sounding excited. It had been way too long since we had hung out. I knew he wouldn’t hesitate to break out the ice cream and let me cry on his shoulder.

“Uh, I have to go, I have class soon, can I call you again later.” I asked, trying to pull myself back together before I had a nervous breakdown in the middle of a school bathroom.

“Of course love, we’ll start getting things ready for your visit immediately. Don’t let him ruin your last day as a junior, okay?” I nodded before remembering he couldn’t see me.

“Yeah Lou, I’ll try. Thank you both.” I finally responded.

“Don’t worry about it, we’ll talk to you later.” He said instead of goodbye, before we both hung up. I splashed some water on my face before patting it dry and grabbing my things. Heading off to homeroom, I hoped no one would be able to see how upset I was.

The day seemed to rush past, nothing much to do in any of the classes besides making sure we had all of our stuff. So now I was packing the last few things from my locker into my bag before starting the walk home. I put my headphones in my ears, pressing play, and started walking. I had been putting off buying a car, not really liking a lot of the prospects around here. Not to mention that I didn’t know much about them, as far as how to know if one was decent. Hopefully, now that I was visiting Harry could help me. He was amazing with cars. I wouldn’t need to pack much to visit Louis, I had some clothes there, and I knew I could always borrow some if necessary.

When I got home, I looked at the clock to see it was almost three. I had a little over an hour before the guys would be here, so with that in mind I emptied my bag and started packing. I chose to pack my laptop and toiletries. I would have to pack my phone charger, toothbrush, and hairbrush in the morning. If I thought of anything else I could always grab it later, I put my bag on my desk, deciding to leave it there until morning.

Pleased with myself for getting that out of the way I threw a bag of popcorn in the microwave. Once it was done I went to the living room and put on tv waiting for the others to show up. We wound up hanging out, just watching movies and ordering pizza for dinner. It was then that I decided to break it to Josh that I wouldn’t be going to his house for the summer.

“Luke?” I started quietly, quite nervous, when I noticed there was a lull in the conversation.

“Yeah Ash?” He asked after swallowing the bite that was in his mouth. _Thankfully he never speaks with his mouth full, I can’t stand when people do that._

“Well, um, I know I was supposed to go to your house over the summer since mom and dad are leaving in the morning. Lou invited me to spend it with them.” I responded, playing with the bracelets I kept on my wrists, so I never needed to look at what was beneath.

“Seriously?” He huffed, sounding disappointed “When are you going there? Are you at least gonna come over for a week or two?”

“Um, actually, they’re picking me up tomorrow afternoon.” I responded, not really wanting to disappoint him more. I didn’t dare look at anyone else to see their reactions.

“Oh.” He started, disappointed. “Well, we can still all hang out tomorrow, right? We’ll crash here and hang out until you have to leave. If that’s ok, of course.” He finished with a smile, that did nothing to hide the disappointment in his eyes.

“Of course it is.” I answered him with a smile of my own, knowing my parents wouldn’t mind.

“Awesome, I just gotta call my parents.” Mikey piped up, sounding excited.

“Same.” Cal added. Once we were finished eating, everyone went to make the necessary phone calls, before coming back together to update each other.

“My parents are disappointed you won’t be staying with us, but hope you enjoy your summer.” Luke told me, swinging his arm around my shoulder.

“My sister is the one who answered, told me to have fun and to not get into too much trouble.” Cal said with a laugh, his sister was awesome.

“My parents didn’t give a fuck. They just told me not to get arrested, and not to get someone pregnant. I wonder when they’ll finally realize that they never have to worry about that.” Mikey added as we all settled in to watch more movies.


	3. Getting Away

** Ashton’s POV **

I woke up slightly groggy, momentarily forgetting we had all fallen asleep in the living room. I got up stretching as I noticed my parents bringing their stuff out to the car. I threw on my shoes to help them, so they wouldn’t be late. After our goodbyes, they left, and I went back in to make something for breakfast. I made scrambled eggs, bacon, and French toast. I couldn’t help but laugh when the smells seemed to wake the other guys up. One by one they made their way out, grabbing coffee and waiting until the food finished cooking before grabbing their plates and going to the table.

It was already nine-thirty and Louis had texted me the night before to let me know to be ready by one. Between traffic and anything else we could make it back by about four. After breakfast I took a quick shower, brushed my teeth, and brushed my hair. When I finished with that, I finished packing my last few things and put my bag by the door, so it was easier to grab.

“It still sucks you’re leaving Ash.” Luke said when I came back.

“Sorry Luke, I just need to get away for a little while, and I haven’t seen Louis and Harry in forever.” I answered, hugging him and realizing how much I would miss him.

“I know, we’ll have to make plans when you get back though.” He said smiling. That made me feel even worse.

“About that, I might not be back until school starts back up.” I replied, biting my lip.

“What do you mean?” Mikey asked, and now I felt even worse because he sounded disappointed.

“I’m not sure how long I’m staying yet, it might be all summer.” I answered, trying not to show how guilty I was starting to feel.

“Shitty, if that’s the case we’ll make plans for that weekend or something.” Calum added, I smiled at him in appreciation.

“Well, what do you guys say we go hang out in the backyard, we’ve still got a couple hours before I leave.” I said after checking the time and seeing it was nearing eleven. After everyone agreed we headed out to the back yard, deciding to play soccer.

We had teamed up Luke and Mikey against Cal and I. Cal and I were doing well until Luke distracted Cal while they were both on the field, and I wasn’t the best at blocking goals. Mikey decided after the third time of them stopping to flirt, it was time to switch positions. I immediately got nervous, realizing that this meant Mikey and I would be the people on the field. I thought I would become distracted like Calum had, but managed to do alright.

Everything was going well until I did get distracted, by a motorcycle that was pulling up the driveway and didn’t notice Michael coming right for me. We fell over, him on top of me and me staring blankly up at him for a minute before he got up and helped me up. I looked down, hoping to hide the blush on my face.

I decided to stop our game to go see who it was, the others following me. “That is a nice bike.” Michael said as it came in view. By this time the rider had taken off his helmet and was smiling at me as he got off his motorcycle.

“Oh my god, Zaynie!” I screamed as I ran over, almost jumping on him to hug him “I missed you so much.” I said, smiling as he hugged me back. I could feel him looking at the others as he held onto me.

“Who the hell is that?” Mikey asked Luke, his tone showing just how interested he was. I should have expected it though, everyone was interested in Zayn.

“I don’t know, but I’m about to find out.” Luke answered, sounding put out as he walked over to us and I finally decided to let Zayn go. “You gonna introduce us Ash? Thought you were going over to Louis’.”

“Oh, sorry, name’s Zayn. We’re heading over to Lou’s, I just wanted to be the one to pick him up.” Zayn answered shaking Luke’s hand and shooting me a smile. “You all set Ash?” He asked me.

“Yeah, just have to grab my bag.” I answered grabbing it from where I had left it by the door. “I can’t believe you’re back already, does this mean Li is too?” I asked excitedly when I got back to the group. I almost didn’t realize how tense it was starting to get between them.

“Yes, we wanted to keep it a surprise when we found out you were visiting.” Zayn turned to me smiling, I had to smile back and hug him again tightly.

“So, Zayn was it? Are you a model? Because you are fit as fuck.” Michael asked. _Wow, that hurt_. I couldn’t help but giggle though, especially when Zayn answered.

“Yeah, actually I am, and my boyfriend thinks so as well.” Zayn replies, shooting me a wink and making me laugh. “Well we should be on our way Ash.” He added as he got back on the motorcycle handing me the extra helmet and putting his own on. “Harry will kill us if we’re late.”

“Are you seriously going to ride that thing?” Luke asked, sounding annoyed.

“Bye guys.” I said as I put the helmet on and got on the back, choosing to ignore Luke’s question. I gripped Zayn tightly, only letting go to wave on our way off. About halfway, we stopped to grab coffees, knowing that Harry would have something ready for dinner when we got there. We sat in a booth and chatted as we sipped our drinks.

“So, the redhead, Michael, right?” He started, waiting for my nod before continuing. “He’s the guy you like?” It was less of a question, almost closer to a statement.

“Yeah, he’s kinda like my own personal Zayn.” I answered with a laugh “You know, hot and unattainable by all us mere peasants.” He laughed before responding.

“Nah, he’s your Liam. You’re the Zayn there, we’ll have him eating out of the palm of your hand next time he sees you.” I laughed before finishing my coffee.

“Whatever you say Zayn, whatever you say.” I said rolling my eyes. I could never be the Zayn, I’m nothing special.

“Exactly, whatever I say. I know exactly how to get you there, I got myself there, didn’t I? And we have all summer, and all us to help you.” He said with a smile as we threw away our cups and went back out to the motorcycle to finish our trip. Zayn made sure to signal to me when we were about five minutes away. I couldn’t help but feel even more excited at finally seeing the others.

Zayn had barely had a chance to park the bike before I was jumping off and removing my helmet. I ran to Louis who was sitting on his car smoking a cigarette. I was about to jump on him when something caught my eye and I grabbed his hand. “Oh my god, Louis! Does this mean what I think it means?” I asked excitedly, and he started smiling.

“Yeah,” He started a bit guiltily “Harry proposed to me last week.” I couldn’t contain the little scream.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked Louis, then whipped my head to Zayn. “Or why didn’t you tell me? We just spent like the last three and a half hours together, and you couldn’t even tell me that they got engaged?”

“It wasn’t my news to tell.” Zayn answered, raising his hands in surrender. _Okay, I guess I can forgive him for that._

“I wanted to tell you in person.” Louis told me, almost as a whine, as he put out his cigarette and jumped down off his car pulling me in for a hug that I returned immediately. “Well, speaking of Harry, he should be just about done with dinner, so we should head in.”

“So, we stopped for coffee on the way and had a conversation.” Zayn started “I got to meet the lovely Michael. I had to convince Ash here that he definitely had the potential to be the Zayn in that relationship.”

“He’s definitely the Zayn, not the Liam.” Louis added, causing Li to whip his head towards him.

“And just what the hell is that supposed to mean?” Liam asked, sounding put out.

“Don’t worry babe, being the Liam is not a bad thing. It just means you basically worship me, like you should.” Zayn answered with a smile, enjoying teasing Liam.

“First of all, I don’t worship you.” Liam began, getting ready to start a rant.

“Babe, you were the best man at my wedding. Instead of enjoying yourself and giving a speech, you objected and told me you loved me. So, calm the fuck down love, you do worship me.” Zayn interrupted Liam, always knowing how to stop him. “But it’s ok, I love you too, and I’m happy you didn’t let me marry Perrie. Now kiss me Li.”

“I’m doing this because I love you, not because you told me to.” Liam replied before kissing Zayn. _Yeah, sure Liam, keep telling yourself that._

“Hey, hey, not at the table.” Harry said, slapping the table once they started getting a bit heated, causing them to both pull away and look guilty. “Anyway, I agree with Zayn. On the scale of one to ten, you’re like a solid eight, but with our help you could go to Zayn.”

“Well, where the hell does Zayn fall on the scale?” Zayn asked, and this time it was Liam who answered.

“Babe, you’re way past ten, you’re like a god.” Liam answered, and we all nodded.

“Ah yes, the ancient religion of Zaynism. Where all us mere peasants worship you, and hope you bless us with your company.” I added with a giggle, before jokingly bowing, the others quickly following my lead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Perrie wasn’t his last ex, I just decided to choose her instead of Gigi.


	4. Seasons Change

** Ashton’s POV **

It was a few days later that I found out they hadn’t been joking. Zayn decided that the first thing we needed to do was to get me contacts. I tried fighting him, “Zee.” I whined “Why are you making me do this? I’ll never be able to put them in, at least not without help.”

“Of course you will, you just need practice.” He said as we were sitting, waiting for our appointment. “And plus, it’ll make those pretty blue eyes of yours pop.”

“No, I can’t touch my own eye, it’s weird.” I said, trying to get him to change his mind.

“So, you’re saying it’s not weird to touch someone else’s eye?” He asked with a chuckle, causing me to regret my choice of words.

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.” Before I had a chance to say anything else, they called us in for our appointment. I took every chance I could to let him know how unhappy I was about this, but he just ignored me and continued speaking with the doctor. The appointment went by fairly quickly before we were being sent to cash out. Zayn decided he was paying and paid extra to get express shipping, hushing me when I tried to object.

“Hush love, I want to do this for you, let me. I have more than enough money. Please let us spoil you as much as we can.” Zayn said as we were walking back to his bike. “We never get the chance, you’re too far away.”

“Fine, but only because you’re so pretty Zee.” I said with a smile, not wanting to argue.

“Thank you Ash.” He teased back before kissing my cheek and getting on the bike. The trip back was quick, which I was thankful for. We ate dinner and watched a movie before Zayn was ushering me to bed.

“You have a busy day tomorrow Ash, get some sleep.” Zayn told me, making me confused as he led me to the room.

“What do you mean I have a busy day, I don’t have any plans.” I said pouting and crossing my arms.

“Yes, you do, you just don’t know what they are yet.” He laughed, making me more confused. I shouldn’t have shrugged it off like I did, but I did. When I was woken at dawn by a wide-awake Liam though, I was confused and not happy in the slightest.

Apparently, my busy day was starting a workout routine with Liam. He demanded that the first thing we do was go for a _light_ jog, apparently a light jog is three fucking miles. I was exhausted by the time we got back and just wanted to grab a bottle of water and go back to bed. As soon as I went to start up the stairs though, Liam grabbed my arm and started towards the basement where his gym was, making me groan.

“Liiiiii.” I whined. “We already worked out today, I just wanna nap.” I pouted, trying to stop him.

“We didn’t work out Ashton, we went for a light jog. That is aerobic, we still have to work on anaerobic, flexibility, and stability.” _Nope, that sounded like way too much work_.

“Liam, I love you, but are you trying to kill me?” I asked as I went to turn around only to get stopped by Liam.

“Don’t worry, we’ll start light today. As long as you work on everything each day, or every couple of days with me, then you’ll be a whole new person by the end of the summer. And we can set up a routine that you can follow when you go home, okay?” He sounded way too enthusiastic for me to turn him down, so I begrudgingly agreed, and we started.

It became somewhat easier when my contacts came in, I didn’t have to worry about my glasses getting fogged up. Liam made sure to push me just the tiniest bit further each day, and I noticed that it was all becoming easier the longer I kept with it. I was almost enjoying the morning jogs we went on every morning now, it was a way to wake us both up, and sometimes Zayn even decided to join us. Zayn rarely joined us in the gym, but when he did it was for a light workout and to observe the two of us.

“You know Ash, you’re starting to get muscles now, I’d say we could get you some new clothes now.” I blushed, looking down at myself and noticed he was right, I had grown some muscles. I don’t know how I didn’t notice it before.

“Zee, stop distracting him, he still has a few more reps to do.” Liam said, and I couldn’t help the playful glare I sent to him that made him chuckle, especially when I went back to lifting the weights. “Though, you’re probably right babe, he could at least use some new workout clothes.”

“Li, I meant decent clothes, he’d look good if he wore some tighter clothes, maybe a leather jacket.” Zayn said thoughtfully as he looked me over, probably coming up with a plan. “It’s decided, after your guys’ workout, take a shower, then we’re going. Before you think otherwise Li, so are you.”

Liam went to respond but didn’t have a chance before Zayn left so he turned to me. “I love him so much, but god is he a pain in my ass. The last thing I want to do is go shopping.” He said as I finished with the weights and he decided we’d do sit ups. I got into position with him holding my feet flat.

“Yeah, but at least I won’t have to face it alone.” I joked as I set up a rhythm before turning more serious. “But he is right, with this routine you set me on I won’t have a whole lot of clothes that will fit right.”

“You’re probably right, I had to get all new clothes when I started working out too.” He answered after thinking for a minute. “And it wouldn’t hurt you to get some more workout clothes too, that way you don’t have to borrow mine when yours are in the wash.” I paused as I sat up and jokingly pushed him.

“That was one time, and because you had decided that we were going to work out the day I decided to wash my clothes. Yours do fit better now anyway though, so you’re right, I do need new workout clothes.” I said giving in. “Okay, your turn.” I added as we shifted positions. “Then we can take our showers and let the real workout start.” We laughed and soon enough we were finished.

A half hour later we were showered and in Liam’s escalade on the way to the mall, Zayn seemingly more pleased than either of us, not that we wanted to voice that and face his wrath. “So, I say we get the workout clothes first.” Liam started. “It’ll only be a few things, so it’ll be easier that way babe.” He added when Zayn seemed like he would disagree.

“I guess you’re right, but park by the main entrance.” Liam nodded his agreement and soon found a great parking spot, quite close to the doors. Finally, after about four hours and a completely filled vehicle that included a set of weights that Liam decided that I would need once I went home, we were on our way back to the house. By this point I was absolutely exhausted and really felt like taking a nap, but of course I needed to put all the new clothes away. Thankfully everyone helped bring everything in, I still wasn’t exactly sure why Zayn had forced me to get this much clothes, or furthermore how I had only managed to pay for lunch.

“Zee, I need your expertise.” I figured buttering him up would help my case.

“I know, that’s why I brought you shopping.” He said, teasing me since I hadn’t bothered changing into any of the new clothes.

“I’m serious Zee.” I pouted, hoping that he would agree to help.

“Fine, with what?” He asked, and I sent him a smile.

“Please help me organize my new clothes, I have no idea what to put where.” I said with my best puppy dog eyes, ignoring the look on Liam’s face that seemed to ask if I was sure I wanted to put up with more of Zayn’s clothes fascination.

“Oh my god, yes, let’s go.” He said as he dragged me to the room. _Maybe I shouldn’t have asked for his help._ An hour and a half later that consisted of us putting all my clothes away, bagging up my old stuff, and getting a lecture on color schemes and the best way to keep a closet organized, and we finally were putting the last few pieces away. “Looking at all this, you are going to need a few suitcases.” Zayn said when we were finished, and he was looking it over. “I have an extra set you can have.”

“Zayn, I can’t keep taking things from you.” I said as he turned to me. “Like, you just bought me a whole new wardrobe, you shouldn’t be doing all that.”

“Don’t worry about it Ash, I’ve got the extra money, and it was my idea.” He spoke with his you won’t win this voice and I sighed.

“Zayn, seriously, you don’t need to spend all your money on me.” I tried arguing anyway.

“It’s not all of it, let me do this. If it makes you feel any better, think of all this as your birthday gift, which means I get to decide how much to spend.” _Okay, I guess I don’t really have a decent argument against that since we hadn’t actually done anything on my actual birthday._

“Fine, but this is it, got it Zayn.” I said after a pause, not knowing what else to say.

“No promises, the next thing you can just count from Li though.” He answered with a smile. I just rolled my eyes and laid back on the bed with a sigh.

“Fine, fine, but now I need a nap. So, either get over here and cuddle me or go bug Li.” I said a little snippy as I started burrowing in my blanket. It wasn’t unusual for me to cuddle up to any of the guys for a nap.

“Sounds good, move over.” He answered as he laid behind me, wrapping his arm around me, both of us falling asleep in no time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, let me know what you think.


	5. Make That Move

** Ashton’s POV **

I woke up a couple hours later, still curled up with Zayn, to Liam and Louis standing over us and taking pictures. I tried glaring at them, but only succeeded in making them laugh at me. “We’ll work on that love.” Zayn said just barely cracking his eyes open and noticing my failure. “Get the fuck out you two.” He added to the others, who understandably took a step back. Nobody wanted to be on his bad side, especially when he just got up.

“We actually came up for a reason babe.” Liam started, uncertain, before turning to Louis for help.

“Yeah, um, Harry sent us up, so kill him. But please don’t kill him, I love him.” Louis rambled.

“What he, I mean we, are trying to say, is dinner is done.” Liam finally finished, realizing Louis wasn’t really helping.

“Fine, get out, we’ll be down shortly.” Zayn said, his eyes back to being closed, and the boys took the opportunity they were given to escape. “I guess our nap is over, we should probably head down.” Zayn said after another few minutes as he started to get up, making me pout.

“I guess.” I said looking up at him as he fixed his clothes “I don’t wanna though.” When he gave me a look, I immediately got up though and started fixing my own clothes. By the time we made it down, the others had set the table and were just getting ready to sit down to eat. I noticed our plates were already on the table and sat down, thanked them, and started eating.

“So what else does Mr. Malik have in store for Mr. Hart?” Niall asked a few days later over breakfast after Liam and I had gotten back from our morning jog.

“Well, Mr. Horan,” Zayn said teasingly before he looked me over. “I’m not completely sure to be honest. We need to work on his attitude some, he needs some confidence, and I plan on teaching him a few looks.” I giggled when I noticed the others look worried. Zayn had perfected just about every look you could think of. “Maybe we’ll even get his ear pierced.”

“Also, if it wouldn’t be too much to ask.” I started a little nervous. “I wanted to get a car, but there’s nothing good around me. So, I was kind of hoping that you guys wouldn’t mind helping me look for one around here.”

“Is that even a question?” Liam asked. _He was right, it shouldn’t have been, I knew they’d help._

“Of course we’ll help you.” Zayn added before turning back to Niall. “And apparently finding him a badass ride.” Causing Niall to choke on his food as he laughed.

“Well, at least he doesn’t have to teach you how to act once you’ve got him.” Niall said to me, causing me to blush and look down. “Right?” He asked, uncertain now. Now that I could feel all their eyes on me, I was even more nervous.

“Um, I uh, I’ve never dated anyone.” I said quietly, not lifting my head at all, and not sure if they could hear me.

“How is that even possible?” Zayn asked, honestly confused. “You’re cute, and one of the sweetest guys we know.”

“If I wasn’t with Sam, let me stop there actually. I do not need to say anything that could potentially get back to her.” Niall added causing me to blush more.

“Why am I just now finding this out?” Louis asked, before thinking it over and apparently something clicked. “Never mind, it makes sense now why you never told me about any relationships, but I knew about Michael. I just thought you were secretive, or they were nothing serious, you’re too cute to have never had a date.”

“Well, this adds a few more things to our list Ash, but don’t worry, nothing too bad.” Zayn said, probably going over the list in his head of what he wanted to do now. I just decided to stay quiet and was relieved when they switched topics. I all but ran to the basement to start my work outs for the day. Liam seemed to understand that I didn’t really feel like talking when he came down a few minutes after me and allowed our work out to be relatively silent.

“Ready to head back up?” He asked after a while, it seemed like we hadn’t been down here long enough, even though we were both done with our routine.

“Not really.” I answered truthfully. “But we probably should.” When we made it back upstairs I grabbed a bottle of water, drinking half of it. Then I let the others know I was taking a shower and I’d be back down afterwards. After my shower I got dressed and looked myself over in the mirror, trying to see what the others apparently saw. _The new clothes definitely did a better job of accentuating my features, but I still don’t think I’m much to look at. Even with all the working out, I still weigh too much. Why would someone like Michael ever want someone like me?_ Shaking my head to try to clear my thoughts. I decided to tie a bandana around my head to keep my hair out of my face like I usually did, before heading downstairs.

“Where is everybody else?” I asked when I got to the living room and noticed only Liam and Zayn. Liam only shrugged before looking to Zayn. Suddenly I felt anxious, especially when Zayn patted the spot next to him. Usually Zayn and Liam sat together, not across from each other. Once I was sitting he started talking.

“Ash, if you’ve never dated anyone, does that mean you’ve never been kissed?” He asked looking me in the eyes.

“Um, yeah.” I answered dumbly before looking at my lap and started playing with my fingers.

“Hey, that’s nothing to be ashamed about.” He said softly as he lifted my face. “I can teach you anything you could possibly need to know.” I whipped my head over to Liam, who didn’t look the least bit surprised.

“We’ve already talked about it Ash.” Liam said, sounding confident. “I trust you both, and I wouldn’t consider it cheating.”

“It’s why I asked the others to leave for a few hours.” Zayn said, reclaiming my attention. “But I would never do anything you weren’t comfortable with. It’s completely up to you, and we can go at a pace you are comfortable with.” I thought it over for a while. I didn’t know anything about relationships or kissing and didn’t want to make a fool of myself. I trusted Zayn completely, and I knew that I would never get another offer like this. After another second I nodded, almost unnoticeably. I was sure he only knew because he was watching me so intently and his hand still held my face.

“Okay, we’re gonna start off slow, you ready?” Zayn asked me. My anxiety must have shown through on my face though because he continued. “It’s okay to be nervous Ash, it’s a natural reaction.”

“Yeah, but what if I’m horrible or something?” I asked as he took my hand in a comforting way, not that it helped, I was still way too nervous. “I didn’t realize we were going to do this now. I thought, I don’t know, like I’d have more time to prepare or something.”

“It’s okay Ash, that’s what we’re here to work on.” Zayn answered trying to calm me down.

“Yeah, but what if.” I was cut off before I could say anything else as Zayn pressed his lips against mine. It lasted only a few seconds before he pulled away.

“There, easy right?” He asked and all I could do was nod. “And how many people can say they gave their first kiss to me?”

“I’m guessing not many.” I answered quietly.

“You and like two other people.” Zayn said playing with my hair.

“Three.” Liam cut in, “And I’m the only one that can say they were given his.”

“Oh my god Li, we were like twelve, that doesn’t count.” Zayn replied with a laugh as he rolled his eyes.

“Yes, it does, especially since we got together later on.” Liam teased.

“Shut up.” Zayn said shaking his head. “Anyway, now that that’s over with, let’s try a bit more, yeah? Just follow my lead, okay?” I bit my lip and nodded. I saw him glance down at my mouth before using his thumb to remove my lip from between my teeth. Then he led his lips to mine once more. He started out slowly before opening his mouth and leaning me back into the arm of the couch, so he was leaning over me. I had almost forgotten that we weren’t alone until I heard the click of someone taking a picture on their phone and pulled away, looking over at Liam.

“Sorry, that was fucking hot.” Liam said as an excuse for taking the picture, making me blush.

“How was that hot Liam?” I could almost swear that Zayn was frustrated. _Maybe he thinks Liam was distracting me._ “I’m trying to show him how to kiss, so that his boy toy won’t know what hit him.” His attitude starting to come out.

“This is how.” Liam answered with a smirk. Before I could even comprehend what was happening I was pressed back into the couch with Liam above me, caging me in. He propped his knee on the couch between my legs as he pressed his lips to mine. He took control immediately, there was no going slow this time. I couldn’t help the small whine that escaped when he bit my lip as he pulled away, leaving me dazed.

“You’re right, that was hot. Fuck Michael, let’s keep him for ourselves.” Zayn said breathlessly.

“We can’t keep Ashton for ourselves Zee.” Liam said, pressing another chaste kiss to my lips, before finally standing up. “As much as we’d like to.” Honestly, for a moment, I wondered why, before remembering why I was doing all of this and blushing.

“Sure, we can.” Zayn said with a slight whine.

“No, love, we can’t, but if he wants we can keep up these _lessons_.” Liam smirked when I nodded. “Thought so babe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, let me know what you think.


	6. Shake it Up

** Ashton’s POV **

After that, our work outs got more interesting. Liam would take, what seemed like every chance to kiss me; often using them as motivation for us both to keep moving. Zayn joined us more often, just watching us, or taking a chance to kiss one of us. They both seemed to get more confident with what I could deal with the longer it went on. I could even feel my confidence growing as it continued.

“We should surprise Li and get your hair cut today.” Zayn said after we had been making out for a while one day when it was only the two of us.

“I almost forgot about that.” I answered truthfully. “What if it looks horrible?” I worried.

“Don’t worry, I know exactly where to take you. She’s the only one that does mine and Li’s, she will not let you down. Come on.” He said as he helped me up and pulled me with him to his bike. When we got there, she talked with us for a few minutes before telling one of the other girls she would work with us in the back. Apparently, she was quite sought after and brought in quite an income to the store, therefor she had a private room in the back.

“Don’t tell me you left Payno.” She said after Zayn had kissed my cheek, making me blush.

“Nah, I could never leave Li. Ash here is a good friend of ours.” He answered with a smile.

“Friend or _friend_?” She asked with a knowing look, making me blush worse.

“No, just a friend. He’s staying with us for the summer while I have time off, and he’s allowing me to give him a makeover.” Zayn said, trying to take the attention off of me.

“Ooh, a full makeover?” Apparently Zayn knew just how to distract her.

“Yep, we’re working on his confidence, there’s a special someone back home.” I was a little confused why he had brought that up.

“Tell me all about them.” She said excitedly as she turned to me, and it clicked.

“Well, he’s great looking. Um, he’s a bad boy, I guess. He’s really nice though.” I didn’t really know what to say to her. _How could I even begin to describe Michael?_

“Well, have you made a move?” She asked, and I bit my lip.

“It’s his cousin’s friend, so.” Zayn said as he watched me, and she looked like she understood.

“Well, let’s make you just completely irresistible like Zayn over there, sound good?” I nodded, and she turned to Zayn. “So, any ideas? Or free reign for this one like you gave me?” That surprised me, I had always thought Zayn had chosen his own style.

“All up to you.” He answered. After covering the mirror, she got started. I could feel the difference as she cut and didn’t know how to feel about it. _I’m so used to my long hair, what if it looks horrible when this is done?_ I tried not to worry as she added hair dye, Zayn looked like it wasn’t awful. They chatted but I could barely focus on what they were talking about. I began wondering what the guys back home were up to, I should call Luke tonight. It's already been about a week since I had last talked to him.

“And, voilà.” She said finally as she uncovered the mirror, and I could understand why she was so sought after, I barely recognized myself, I almost looked hot. My hair was a lot shorter now and had blue and green highlights.

“You have outdone yourself once again Hayl.” Zayn said with a smile as he looked me over. “Charge it on our account, would you?”

“No problem Zayn, come with me and I can get you settled, then you can be on your way.” As we walked out she grabbed a few supplies that she had used to style my hair. She put them in a bag that she handed to Zayn, then we were on our way.

“Li is gonna love it.” Zayn said as he handed me the helmet. “And I’m sure lover boy will too.” He added with a wink.

“Does he even know you were planning on bringing me today?” I asked as we climbed on.

“Not a clue.” He answered before starting the bike up and heading back to the house. “Li should be getting back from his meeting soon.” He added when we parked. Once we were inside he took a minute to fix my hair before we heard Liam pulling in and he sent me into the kitchen. “Wait for my signal, then come out. I want to really surprise him.” I wasn’t exactly sure what signal I was waiting for, but I figured I’d know it when I heard it. I tried not to let my nerves get the best of me as I waited, even if it was only for a few minutes. I started drinking a bottle of water to calm myself.

“Hey Ash, can you bring us each a water when you come back out?” I heard Zayn call to me, that must have been the signal. _Am I ready? I don’t feel ready._

“No problem, I’ll be right out.” I called back, grabbing the waters and bracing myself. Liam was turned to Zayn when I came out and turned to thank me as I offered him his water, but the words seemed to get caught in his throat. He grabbed my wrist, causing me to drop the bottle, and pulled me down so I straddled his lap.

“You changed your hair.” He said. “It looks hot.” He added before kissing me.

“Told you he’d like it.” Zayn added, and I could hear the smirk in his voice.

“I love it.” Liam said as he started kissing along my jaw, making me gasp.

“Li.” Zayn spoke up in a warning tone, causing Liam to pull away. Liam might have been the more dominant one, but everyone knew Zayn was the one in charge.

“Fuck, sorry.” Liam spoke into my neck, causing me to let out a small giggle as it tickled. At that point Zayn leaned over pulling me in for a quick kiss. “I’m gonna miss this when you leave next month.” Liam said when Zayn pulled away.

“Me too love.” Zayn said giving a quick kiss to Liam. “Now let Ash go, the others will be back soon.” We never made it a point to tell the others, so we figured they probably didn’t know. Regardless we didn’t plan on making a huge show of it. After a few more seconds Liam let me go and I got up from his lap, deciding to make the call to Luke.

“I’ll be back you guys, I’m gonna go make a phone call.” I said walking to my room, already dialing the number. The phone rang three times before a voice that was definitely not Luke answered.

“Hey Ash, how’s your summer going so far?” I knew that voice, that was Michael, why was Michael answering Luke’s phone?

“Mikey?” I asked stupidly, already knowing the answer, and causing him to chuckle.

“Yeah, sorry, let me get Luke.” He told me before yelling to the rest of the house. “Luke, get your dick out of Cal’s.” I cut off the rest of that as I hung up the phone. My anxiety from it being Michael who answered finally overwhelming my want to speak to Luke, especially when I realized we’d have to talk longer. I zoned out for a few minutes before getting startled when my phone began ringing in my hand. I stared at it for a moment in surprise before answering it.

“Hey Luke.” I started excitedly before hearing a laugh on the other line.

“Hey Ash.” He answered before Cal joined in.

“We miss you, when are you coming back?” Cal asked with a small whine.

“And why did you hang up on me?” Michael asked, making me scramble for an answer that didn’t include the fact that he made me nervous.

“Maybe it was because I didn’t want to hear about my cousin having his dick in someone’s mouth.” I decided to say, shocking myself a little. _Maybe Zayn had already succeeded in changing my attitude a bit._

“Damn, Ash got a mouth on him now.” Michael said as he laughed, Luke and Calum both going silent. I finally made my way back downstairs after talking with them for a while to see that everyone else was back and Harry was almost done making dinner. I decided to help set the table as Lou helped Harry bring out the food. Everyone looked surprised when they saw the change in my hair, but no one commented on it.

“So how was your call?” Harry asked as we all were eating.

“Good, uh, Mikey answered the phone.” I started off saying as I fidgeted with my fork.

“How did that turn out?” Louis asked almost knowingly. I took a bite to give myself a second before I had to answer.

“Well, I may have hung up the phone.” I answered biting my lip and making Niall laugh.

“Well obviously they called back, so how was the rest of the call?” Zayn asked, I had been on the phone for a while, so they were probably all curious about what we had talked about.

“They had me on speaker, so I got to talk to all of them.” I started causing them to nod “And I may have told them that I didn’t want to hear about Luke getting his dick sucked.” I added offhandedly with a shrug, causing Louis to drop his fork in shock.

“And that’s when he opened his mouth and Zayn popped out.” Liam said with a laugh.

“Oh my god, I’m so proud of you.” Zayn added fondly.

“Oh god, Zayn, you’re corrupting him more than we thought.” Harry said as he patted Lou’s shoulder. “He was so innocent, now look what you’ve done.”

“Yeah, I thought the looks you’ve been teaching him were enough, we don’t need a second Zayn running around.” Niall said before a smile broke out on his face, “Still, I bet their reactions were just as priceless as Lou’s here.” Dinner was fairly uneventful after that as I told them more about the conversation I had had. We decided that Zayn and I would go shopping for a car the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think.


	7. Don't Threaten me With a Good Time

** Michael’s POV **

I met up with Luke and Calum when we got to the school. They had carpooled, probably so they could hook up again before school. Luke was excited to see Ashton again after not seeing him all summer, we all were if I was being honest. I had to admit, it had been weird not having him around. As we were waiting we heard a motorcycle pull into the parking lot, the person was too far away to make out any details. It was a nice bike, that much I could tell.

“Who is that?” Luke asked, I wanted to know as well.

“Not sure, but I plan on finding out.” I responded as I walked. He was wearing tight black jeans tucked into black boots, and a leather jacket over a dark shirt. Damn if I didn’t want to see what he looked like underneath. When he removed his helmet, I watched as he ran his fingers through colorful locks. I saw multiple people stop him along the way, he had stopped to chat with a couple guys, allowing us to get closer to him. We still couldn’t get to him before he made it to his locker. instead of going right to him I stopped in front of mine to drop my stuff off and figure out exactly what I wanted to say.

“He’s hot.” I said, checking him out. There was a hint of a tattoo peeking out from behind the collar of his jacket, as well as one I had noticed on his hand. I was barely paying attention to my friends beside me and any thought of Ashton had flown out the window.

“Maybe, but I prefer darker hair.” Luke said with a wink towards Calum.

“Well, you know I prefer blonds, and Michael you are definitely right with this one. He pulls the colors off better than Mikey ever did.” Calum answered, none of us even trying to stay quiet.

“Dude, rude.” Luke answered him with a chuckle that Calum only shrugged to.

“Says the one that fucked someone else, what? Two days ago?” Calum responded. I laughed at the two of them, neither of them really cared what the other did, they just enjoyed teasing each other. “Regardless, that guy has a great ass.” He continued, turning to look at the new guy and making grabbing signals. I followed his gaze and had to agree, especially when he bent over to put something at the bottom of his locker.

“I’ll be back guys.” I said with a wink, making up my mind and going over. “Hey, you must be new, I can show you around if you’d like.” I started, finding the following laugh attractive. When I received no other answer, I decided to get bolder. I grabbed his hips, pulling him against me, and whispered in his ear. “I saw you with that bike between your legs, how would you like to try something else? I guarantee I have something you’ll like a lot more.” The guy only laughed again.

“Do you try that line with everyone Mikey? Or just me?” He asked pulling away, his voice sounding familiar, even if I couldn’t place it, and how did he know my name? He closed his locker and turned around, allowing me to catch sight of snake bites. _God, I love a guy with piercings._ He took a second to look me over before turning to yell to Luke. “Luke, are you planning on saying hi or just ignoring me?” Luke immediately started laughing as he walked over. I was a little miffed that he hadn’t introduced us yet. “And, can someone please reign Michael in?” Calum started laughing after that before he was quickly shut up “And what are you laughing about Calum? I heard the comment about my ass, really trying to keep it in the family, aren’t you?” That’s when everything clicked, the guy I had just hit on was Ashton.

 _I just hit on my best friend’s cousin, shit, at least Luke was laughing instead of trying to kill me._ While Luke and Ashton were catching up I took my time to look over Ashton, he had changed a lot over the summer. _He had grown muscles, that much was clear as soon as he took of his jacket. He had also lost his glasses, which made his eyes pop, he got hot._ When they started walking away, me and Calum took the time to chat between ourselves, being sure to talk quietly so they couldn’t hear us.

“When the hell did little Ashton get so hot?” Calum asked me.

“I was wondering the exact same thing.” I replied as I kept watching him.

“Fuck, Luke would kill us.” He said after a second and I had to agree.

“What Luke doesn’t know, won’t hurt him.” I answered nonchalantly. I wanted to fuck Ashton, regardless of what Luke would think.

“I mean it’s not like we’re doing anything.” He said waiting for a reply from me, when he didn’t get one he continued. “Right?”

“Right, right.” I answered after another second, sounding unconvincing, even to myself.

“Michael, you cannot fuck around with Ashton. He is your best friend’s cousin.” Calum said, probably trying to convince himself as well.

“And like I said, what Luke doesn’t know, won’t hurt him.” I said before thinking about it for a second and adding. “Or me.” Calum laughed and rolled his eyes. Honestly, he’s right, but so am I.

 

** Ashton’s POV **

I walked to class while I caught up with Luke; he had complimented all of my changes and asked when I had decided to get a motorcycle. I hadn’t been planning on it, but Zayn convinced me to when we saw it. I hadn’t been able to bring most of my stuff with me because of it, so Liam had offered to bring the rest over for me. The only time he had free for the long trip was Friday. It meant that I only had to go a couple days between getting home and getting the rest of my stuff, which also gave me time to pack up my old stuff. I wasn’t really sure where any of us stood at this point, things had progressed over the last few weeks, but now I’m home. I stopped thinking about it all as we got closer to the classroom, giving all my attention to Luke.

“I just still can’t believe you didn’t come to my house immediately.” He said almost in a whine.

“I only got back yesterday.” I answered with a laugh, “Besides, I think the reaction I got today was worth it.”

“Well, you certainly did change a lot.” He said giving me a once over. “I just can’t believe Michael hit on you.” He continued, making me laugh.

“I know, that was priceless. So was Calum’s face when I told him I had heard what he said.” Luke burst out laughing, nodding in agreement, before we looked back to see Michael and Calum talking. I couldn’t hear what either of them were saying, but they both looked guilty. I just shrugged it off as we walked into the classroom, finding seats close to each other. During the class we got partnered off for a research project that would take a couple weeks. Once I heard they had paired me with Calum, I stopped paying attention. Calum and I decided to meet at my house after school to get started, the sooner we got started, the sooner we could finish it.

School seemed to race by, most of our teachers just giving us some information about the class before giving us free time. By lunch time I had gotten a few guys’ phone numbers, and even a girl’s; even if I wasn’t interested, it still made me feel good about myself. I nodded along to what the guy beside me was saying. _What did he say his name was again? It was something like Josh, or maybe Joe. Was it Jon? Yeah, I think it’s Jon._ I was too excited about getting to spend time with the boys during lunch that I couldn’t really pay attention to what he was saying. “So, I’ll text you the details later?” He asked, causing me to break out of thoughts.

“I’m sorry, I must have missed some of that, could you repeat that?” I asked with a smile and a look that Zayn had taught me that never failed to get him out of trouble. I noticed he had a nice smile as he answered me.

“Of course, I was just saying that I’m having a party this weekend, you should come. And that I could maybe text you the details later.” I smiled again at his subtle way of asking for my number.

“Sounds good.” I said taking his hand and writing my number out on it, sending him a wink as I walked over to the table the guys were already seated at. I plopped down on Luke’s lap with a smile to Michael as I started eating. Luke never minded when I sat on his lap, and I knew this time was no different as he hugged me from behind.

“So, what were you doing talking to Jon?” Michael asked after a few minutes. I silently congratulated myself on remembering that guy’s name.

“He was inviting me to a party.” I shrugged.

“I wouldn’t go if I were you.” Michael said a bit too quickly. “He and his friends are all fucking weird.” I looked across the cafeteria to where he sat with his friends, giving a flirty wave when I noticed a couple of his friends look over.

“I don’t know, they seem nice enough.” Though I didn’t want to say it out loud, a couple of them were really cute too. I stopped looking over at them and turned back to Michael to see the fire in his eyes.

“How would you know? You’ve only talked to Jon for like five minutes.” Michael spat out.

“Actually, we chatted during most of last period.” I replied in a tone I had learned from Zayn to use when I was done with a topic. It was then that I decided to turn to Calum instead. “So, what’s new with you Cal-pal?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think.


	8. Where Do Broken Hearts Go?

**Calum’s POV**

I felt like the absolute worst friend in the world. Ashton and I went to his house after school to work on our project, and all I could think about was how hot he looked. We were sitting on the couch, I was trying to focus on the work in front of us, when Ashton stretched. His shirt lifted some as he stretched, showing off a tease of the muscles hidden underneath. I completely missed what he had said, only realizing he had spoken when he turned to see why I hadn’t answered.

“Cal, come on, we have to focus on this.” He said with a small laugh. I couldn’t even think, I leaned forward and kissed him. I pulled back a second later with wide eyes.

“Shit, I’m sorry Ash, I shouldn’t have done that.” I stammered, not knowing what else to say.

“Did you hear me complaining?” He asked with a raised eyebrow. _No, he had kissed back._

“No, but Luke.” He cut me off before I could finish.

“What about Luke? Last I checked you two are only fucking, and he has no say in what I do.” _Shit, if that wasn’t the best argument I’ve heard in a while._

“Fuck it.” I whispered and pulled him on top of me, kissing him again. He really seemed to know what he was doing. _Where did he learn to kiss like this?_ Neither of us pulled away from each other except for me to pull off his shirt. “Fuck.” I moaned out as he sucked on my neck, I needed more. “Ash.” I breathed out a moment later when he moved to another spot. “Please.” I had no idea what I was asking for, just that I needed something, I needed friction.

“Hey Ash,” We heard Michael call out as he pushed the front door open without knocking. I did the only thing I could think of, I pushed Ashton off of me and onto the floor. “Luke sent me over to.” He stopped talking as he took in the scene in front of him. Ashton was standing up from where I had pushed him and pulling on his shirt. I was sitting up from where I had been lying on the couch. My hair and clothes a mess, multiple marks across my neck, and a guilty look on my face.

“Yeah, so, like I was saying Cal. For this assignment.” I looked over at Ashton as he spoke, before Michael cut him off.

“Save it, I’m not stupid. Nice going though Calum, you almost had me convinced.” Michael said before walking back out of the house, slamming the door behind him.

“I, uh, I should probably go.” I said not looking at him. “Maybe try to do some damage control. I’ll see you later Ash.” I picked up my stuff and left, trying to call Michael, only to have it go to voicemail after two rings.

 

**Michael’s POV**

After I left Ashton’s house I didn’t go back to Luke’s, I just sent him a text saying they were busy then went home. _For all of Calum’s talk about not doing anything with Ashton, he sure jumped at the first chance he got. He was already fucking Luke, why did he need Ashton too? Since when was Ashton interested in Calum, anyway? And why is this bothering me so much? I needed to put it out of my mind and try to relax for the rest of the night._

School went by pretty quickly, and my class got let out a few minutes early. I had given a ride to Ashton this morning, but I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to give him a ride home as well, so I waited for the guys outside. I would have asked him during lunch, but he was texting someone on his phone.

As I stepped out of the school into the parking lot, I saw a hot guy sitting on the hood of a black escalade, scrolling through his phone. I knew how I would pass the time while I waited for the others. I walked up to him and cleared my throat, making him look up at me. “Hey there.” I started as I made a point of looking over him as I licked my lips.

“Hey.” He replied with a smile. Fuck, his voice was hot too.

“Is there anything I can do for you?” I asked suggestively as I stepped closer and placed my hand on his upper leg.

“Actually, maybe you can.” He said, and I was ready to do whatever he asked. “Do you know Ashton? Irwin?” He asked, adding the last name as an afterthought in case there was more than one.

“Ash? Yeah, I know him, but I’d like to get to know you better first.” I said moving my hand further up his leg and moving my face closer to his, so we were only a few inches apart. He grabbed my wrist, causing me to stop my hand movements, and moved his face in closer to mine. I thought he was about to kiss me until he moved at the last second, stopping his lips by my ear.

“Not interested.” He said. “Now, do you know where Ashton is, or not?” _Why the hell does everyone want Ashton now?_ I huffed and pulled away to look around the parking lot, seeing him standing with Luke.

“Yeah, he’s over there.” I said pointing him out and walked towards Luke and Ashton.

“Ash.” I heard the guy yell behind me and looked up to see a smile on Ashton’s face. He turned and said something to Luke before running to the guy who’s name I hadn’t even managed to get, giving me a quick smile and wave as he ran past.

“Hey Luke.” I started when I got to him. “I’m gonna head home for a bit, but I’m sure I’ll be over later.” He nodded, and we walked to our separate vehicles, Calum already waiting for Luke at his. I don’t know why I got so annoyed when I looked over to see the new guy with his hands on Ashton’s hips, or why it pissed me off when after a quick glance around they kissed. The next thing I knew pain was shooting through my foot as I kicked my tire hard.

I laid back on my bed for a while, glaring at my ceiling and being pissed off at everything. Deciding I needed to talk to Ashton before I went to Luke’s, I drove over, just feeling my anger grow.

 

**Ashton’s POV**

I was sitting on my bed watching tv when Michael slammed my door open, coming in, and whipping it shut. Liam had left a little while ago after helping me hang my clothes up. Michael looked pissed off, I didn’t know why, but it didn’t really excuse the attitude he was putting off. “Yeah, sure, come right in Michael. Don’t worry about knocking.” I said sarcastically, keeping my eyes on the tv instead of him.

“This needs to fucking stop Ashton.” Michael yelled at me. _What the hell is he on about?_

“No, this needs to stop Michael. You just walked into my room, in my house, and started yelling at me?” I answered, turning to face him. “What the fuck is your problem?”

“What is my problem?” He repeated, still not lowering his voice. “ _You’re_ my fucking problem. Ever since you got back, you’ve been acting like a whore.” _Excuse me, what did he just say?_ Before I could say anything, he continued. “Actually no, a whore gets paid, you’re just giving it away for free, aren’t you?” I saw red as I walked across my room to where he was standing and shoved him, hard. I felt satisfied when I heard his back hit the door.

“How fucking dare you.” I seethed. “It never mattered to you what I did before, so why should it now?” He had regained his composure as I spoke and shoved me against the wall. I closed my eyes to prepare for the punch that I knew was coming, but instead felt lips pressed against my own. My eyes flew open in shock, I allowed myself a second to enjoy the kiss before I pushed him off. “Don’t Michael, you had your chance.”

“What are you talking about Ash? I’ve been trying to get your attention since you got back.” _I know he has been, but I wanted to make sure he didn’t just want me because I had changed how I looked._

“Exactly, and before I left, I would have done anything for you. Hell, I thought we could even get together when I got home.” It was true, the only people who seemed to be oblivious to it were Luke, Cal, and Michael.

“Then what’s stopping us?” I tried staying strong as he spoke.

“Are you kidding me? You just called me a whore, Michael.” H _is words had hurt me more than any violence ever could have._

“I didn’t mean it, I was angry.” _I knew he was angry, but his words still hurt._

“I think you need to leave.” I didn’t know what else to say at that point.

“Ash.” His voice cracked as he spoke.

“Leave Michael.” I said, walking past him to open my door and let him out. When I was sure he was gone I took out my phone, tears slipping out of my eyes before I even heard the first ring.

“Hey, I can’t talk long, I’m packing and have a plane to catch when Li gets back.” Zayn said when he answered.

“He, he called me a whore.” I choked out as I cried.

“Shit.” He started, and I heard some rustling around on his side “I’m all yours Ash, what happened? Who called you a whore? Was it Liam? Because if it was, I swear I’ll fucking kill him.”

“Not Li. I decided to watch some tv after he left, and Michael came in and started yelling at me.” I tried getting my tears under control as I spoke. “He called me a whore, and we were arguing, and I pushed him. I thought he was gonna hit me, but then he kissed me. I told him to leave.”

“Good, he doesn’t deserve you after that. I’m so sorry he did that Ash, you deserve so much better.” He said as I wiped the tears from my face.

“I should have expected something like this, he got upset because a guy invited me to a party he was throwing. Apparently Michael doesn’t like this guy.” I said quietly. “Maybe I shouldn’t go.”

“No, you should definitely go. You should dress hot, go, have a great time, and rub it in his face. Show him what he’s missing.” Zayn sounded confident and a little vindictive. “Just because he doesn’t like someone, doesn’t mean he should be a dick to you.”

“Well, the guy does have some cute friends.” I said trying to cheer myself up.

“All the more reason to go, maybe you’ll find someone better. I have to go, but I’ll call you when we get off the plane, okay?” I thanked him, and we hung up. I stared at my phone for a minute before typing out a text.

**To Jon** : You said that party starts at 8:30 right?

**From Jon** : Yea my friends gonna b here early tho

**To Jon** : I’ll be there at 8

**From Jon** : Cool ul like them

I was sure I would, what I didn’t like was the way he texted, it was giving me a headache.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, tell me what you think.


	9. Silver Lining

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Think 'Good Girls' music video for Ashton's outfit.

** Ashton’s POV **

I double-checked that the address he had sent was the one that I had looked up before driving over so I wouldn’t get lost. I had decided on a black vest over a t-shirt I had cut the sleeves off of, a pair of black skinny jeans, my black converse, and finished it with a red bandana. It was a simple look, but still looked good. Once I got there, I parked next to another motorcycle and hopped off. I really hoped I could get my mind off of Michael tonight.

The house looked calm from the outside and it had me questioning if I had the right place. Only one way to find out I thought as I knocked on the door, running my fingers through my hair as I waited for someone to answer. A guy I didn’t recognize opened the door. “Um, hi.” I started dumbly, doubting that I was at the right place. “Do I have the right place? Jon said this was the address.”

“Oh, hi. I’m Mikey.” He held his hand out to shake mine. “You must be Ashton, he said you’d be here. Come right in.” He said as he stepped out of the way and let me into the house. “Jon, your friend’s here.” He called out as he led me to the living room where everyone else was. When we got there Jon stood up with a smile.

“I can’t believe you actually showed up. Everyone, this is Ashton.” He started before pointing everyone out. “Ashton, this is Spencer, Brendon, Ryan, and Mikey is the one that opened the door.” Everyone smiled and nodded as they were introduced. Mikey was typing away on his phone and waved when his name was mentioned, after a few minutes he finally spoke.

“Gee says, him and Frank are running a few minutes late, but will be here soon.” I didn’t know who either of those two were, but the others seemed happy.

“Hey Ashton, would you like something to drink? It’s all set up in the kitchen, but we’re gonna put the good stuff away before the party actually starts.” Jon said, and I nodded.

“Please and thank you.” I answered, I needed to loosen up. When he went to the kitchen, I turned to the others. “So, what do you guys all do for fun?”

“Video games mostly.” Mikey answered me first with a smile.

“Speak for yourself, I spend a lot of time practicing too.” Ryan playfully argued. Jon came back out handing me a cup, I took a sip before answering as I heard the door open.

“Practicing what?” I asked, curious, and wanting to know him better.

“Oh, uh, just guitar.” Ryan answered dismissively, obviously trying to act like it was no big deal.

“No fucking way, I play the drums.” I said as I sat next to him. _He’s hot and can play guitar? Dreams do come true._

“Since when did that become a fucking rule?” A new voice asked from the doorway. “Too late I guess.” I was a bit lost when everyone started laughing and Mikey just looked uncomfortable. I heard the door open and close again before the new guy yelled to whoever was coming in. “Sorry Gee, new kid says no more sex.”

“Awe come on, who the hell is new kid and why does he have any say in my sex life?” The second new voice whined as he finally came into view and looked over us. Able to pick out me as the only person he obviously didn’t recognize. “You, what makes you think you can say when someone else can and can’t fuck?” I was getting more and more confused, while everyone besides Mikey was laughing.

“Come on guys, seriously? I do not need to hear that about my brother.” Mikey said shaking his head in disgust. Ryan seemed to notice how confused I looked and finally took pity on me.

“Gerard is Mikey’s older brother; their last name is Way.” He explained, and it all made a lot more sense at that point. I nodded and took another drink to hide my embarrassment.

“So, did anyone see that bike parked out by Mikey’s? It’s fucking awesome.” Gerard said, deciding to take pity on Mikey and change the subject.

“Someone parked by my bike?” Mikey asked, going to the window to peak out and whistled when he saw it. “Shit, whoever’s it is has nice taste.”

“Oh, uh, that’s mine.” I answered, assuming it was the bike I parked next to, and everyone looked at me a little shocked.

“Maybe you do have good taste in friends.” Mikey joked with Jon, making him laugh. “And here, I thought it was just me, maybe Frank, occasionally Gee.”

“I fucking love a guy on a motorcycle.” Ryan said low enough so only I could hear. He put his hand on my thigh, slowly moving his hand up as he moved to whisper in my ear. “I may have gotten those words a little mixed up.” I could feel my heart start racing and I took another sip before I answered.

“Well, uh, maybe I could take you for a ride sometime.” I said a little nervously as I heard other people start arriving.

“I’d much rather you just ride me.” He whispered as I took another sip, causing me to choke and Brendon to look over.

“Sorry, I uh, just drank too fast or something.” I said in excuse. “I’m just gonna go get myself another drink.” I added as I got up and walked out to the kitchen. I needed a second to breathe before it got crowded. I heard someone come into the kitchen after a minute. “I’ll be out of your way in a second.” I said without turning to look at who had entered, just focusing on making my drink.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure we can help each other.” I heard someone say as they stepped up behind me, pressing against my back, and steadying my hand that was pouring as he grabbed another cup for himself. I cleared my throat before turning around to talk. “Brendon?” I asked, surprised, I had kind of expected it to be Ryan again.

“You weren’t drinking too fast, were you?” He asked as he pressed closer, so I was trapped between the counter and him, his hands still on the counter behind me.

“I, uh, well.” I stuttered, nervous with the attention I was being shown and buzzing from the drink I had already had.

“I didn’t think so, Ryan can be a bit of a flirt.” He said before looking me over. “Especially with someone so fucking sexy.” My breath caught in my throat and I felt him lean in, about to kiss me when a loud voice came from the living room, getting closer to the kitchen.

“The party has arrived, let’s get fucking drunk.” I knew that voice, everyone knew that voice, that was Pete. Pete was the school asshole and went to every party. I cleared my throat and Brendon stepped back right as Pete walked in. “Well fuck me, guess the party was starting in here already, huh?” He asked as he looked between the two of us. I could feel my cheeks heat up as I chose to just stay quiet. I grabbed my drink before going back out and standing next to Jon.

“I’m happy you decided to come tonight.” He said to me with a smile.

“Me to.” I answered truthfully, smiling back before looking around the room at everyone. I paused to watch Ryan as he caught my eye and seemed to make a suggestive movement with his straw, that no one else seemed to notice. “I’m having a lot of fun; your friends seem interesting.” I looked away but soon caught myself watching him again.

“It seems you find certain friends more interesting than others.” He said knowingly after a second. I looked over and realized that he had noticed my attention was on Ryan.

“Uh, sorry.” I said dumbly, focusing back on Jon. “Uh, what were you saying?” He laughed.

“It’s cool, he’s a great guy.” He said. I couldn’t help but glance over again, trying to cover the action my taking a sip of my drink, though I don’t know if he bought it.

“He seems it.” I replied, a little confused when Ryan suddenly got up and headed upstairs, stopping briefly to look over at us. Once he was up the stairs I turned back to see amusement on Jon’s face. “What?” I asked even more confused now.

“He’s expecting you to follow him.” He told me with a chuckle. _What?_

“Seriously?” I asked, a little shocked. “Why though?”

“Well you see, when a guy and a girl, or two girls, or two guys, or.” I cut him off before he could continue, knowing I didn’t want to get into that conversation.

“No, I mean like, why me? He’s hot.” I said, looking back towards the steps.

“So are you, now go.” He said, practically shoving me towards the staircase. I quickly finished my drink, setting the empty cup on stand on my way through, before making my way up the steps. When I made it up the stairs I saw Ryan leaning against a door frame, when he saw me he smirked and motioned for me to go to him.

“I almost thought you were gonna leave me all alone up here.” He said as I walked closer. When I was close enough he grabbed my vest, pulling me to him and kissing me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think.


	10. Let's Not Get Selfish

** Ashton’s POV **

I only paused for a second, caught off guard, before I was kissing him back, my hands on his waist. He pulled me into the room, still kissing me, closing the door behind us and pushing me onto the bed. Once I was laying back looking up at him, he straddled me, moving his mouth to suck on my neck. When I went to grind up against him I realized why he had straddled me. He had done it in such a way that I couldn’t move my bottom half much.

“Ryan, please.” I gasped as I tried moving again, biting my lip when I failed once again. He was teasing me with his fingers slowly moving under my shirt.

“Patience is a virtue.” He whispered as he licked a strip along my neck before pulling back just far enough to pull off my vest and shirt. “No touching.” He whispered when I tried to slide my hands under his shirt. I listened for about twenty seconds before being unable to hold myself back and trying to again, causing him to smirk. “Ah, ah, ah.” He teased as he took my wrists, slowly moving them above my head and kissing me again. I immediately kissed back, trying to follow when he pulled away, not completely able to because of our positions. “Keep your hands right there babe.” He said, not that I could pay attention when he sat up and pulled his shirt off teasingly slow.

I looked him over as he took it off, taking in the sight of him before leaning up as much as I can and pulling him down to kiss him. I could feel him smirk against my lips before I felt his fingers grip my hair and pull, causing me to groan and try to grind against him. “You like that, huh?” He asked, I tried to nod but found I couldn’t.

“Yes.” I breathed out.

“Now what did I tell you to do babe?” He asked, tracing my jaw with his free hand. I leaned into his touch as I answered.

“Keep my hands where you put them, but.” I answered, getting cut me off before I could finish.

“And you didn’t do that, did you?” He asked, with an edge to his voice.

“No, but.” He cut me off again, this time with a little tug to my hair making me gasp and try to grind against him.

“We’re just gonna have to do something about that, huh?” He asked with a wicked look in his eye before connecting our lips once again. I was so lost in the kiss that I only vaguely registered him letting go of my hair or pinning my wrists above my head again. “I think you’re really gonna enjoy this then.” He said against my lips before returning to the kiss and used one hand to take the bandana out of my hair. “Just tell me if it’s too much.” He added before returning to the kiss again, taking the bandana and tying my wrists to the headboard. I pulled away when I realized what he had done and tried to pull my wrists free. I look up at them before returning my gaze to Ryan.

“Why did you do that?” I asked nervously, trying to pull free again.

“Do you not like it?” He asked, stilling his movements and looking at me. _It wasn’t that I didn’t like it, I just didn’t like not being able to touch him._ He must have seen the contemplation on my face because he continued. “If you decide you don’t like it then just tell me, okay?” I nodded, and he kissed me again quickly, before moving down to my neck. He opened up my pants, sliding his hand in teasingly slow as he sucked on my neck. He had just wrapped his fingers around my dick when we heard a knock on the door. I heard him whisper “Fuck.” against my neck before he pulled away, using his free hand to motion me to stay silent as he slowly jerked me off. “Occupied, find a different room.” He yelled to whoever was on the other side of the door before smiling at me. I was biting my lip hard to try to stay silent so that they wouldn’t know I was in here.

“Ry?” We heard the person say from the other side of the door, before we both realized our mistake as we heard the door open.

“Fuck, Bren?” He said looking over his shoulder and noticing who it was. “Get the fuck out.” I was trying to not bring attention to myself, but he noticed anyway, probably from the clothes thrown to the floor.

“I was wondering where he had gone off too, should have known he’d be with you.” Brendon said, stepping into the room.

“I said get out, not come in.” Ryan said with a sigh. “And can you please close the god damn door.” He snapped.

“Don’t be selfish Ry, it’s not like we haven’t shared someone before.” Brendon said as he closed the door behind himself.

“Brendon.” Ryan said in a warning tone before sighing and turning to me. “Ashton, do you want him to stay?” He asked, I snapped my eyes to his when I heard my name. Between the alcohol in my system, how turned on I was, and the fact that I had found both of these guys extremely attractive, I nodded slowly.

“He can stay.” I whispered, causing them to share a look that I couldn’t quite place. Brendon locked the door and walked over, taking his shirt off and throwing it to the growing pile on the floor. I couldn’t help but check him out as he did so. “Shit.” I said low as I drew his attention to my bound wrists. Forgetting about them and going to move my hands in an attempt to touch him.

“Shit, Ry.” Brendon said breathlessly before leaning forward to connect his lips to mine. I let out a moan that seemed to get lost in Brendon’s mouth as Ryan slowly started jerking me off again.

“Hand me the lube and a condom Bren.” Ryan said, causing Brendon to pull away, before turning his attention to me. “I’m going to make you feel fucking amazing babe.” He said as he pulled my pants off, tossing them with the rest of our clothes. He took the items that Brendon had handed him and set them on the bed. I was so focused on what Ryan was doing, I didn’t notice that Brendon had opened his own pants until he pressed his dick to my lips.

“Open up beautiful.” Brendon said softly. I didn’t even have a chance to respond before Ryan pressed against something in me with his finger that made me arch my back and moan. Brendon took the chance presented and pushed into my mouth while it was open.

“Pull his hair, he likes it.” Ryan told Brendon, and Brendon did as he was told, causing me to moan around him.

“Suck beautiful.” Brendon said as he began controlling my movements and I did my best to do as he said, trying not to be too distracted by what Ryan was doing. I was confused when Brendon pulled my head back until I felt Ryan press in completely, stopping to let me adjust, and I realized I had grit my teeth together.

“God Bren, he’s so tight, he’s like virgin tight.” Something must have clicked because Ryan turned his gaze to me and asked “Shit, are you a virgin Ash?” I could feel my cheeks heat up slightly as I went to nod and remembered Brendon still held my hair.

“Not, not anymore I guess.” I answered breathlessly, causing Ryan to smirk and roll his hips, making me moan.

“So, I get to be the one to take one of the hottest guys virginities? You ready babe?” Ryan asked as he traced shapes on my hips with his fingers.

“Yes.” I answered in response to both questions before looking up at Brendon. Not quite sure who I was talking to as I spoke. “Please.”

“Fuck.” They groaned simultaneously, as Brendon pushed back into my mouth and Ryan pulled out almost completely before pushing back in. They both found their rhythm before long and Ryan started jerking me off in time with his thrusts.

Ryan seemed to know exactly what he was doing because every time I would get close he would stop his movements. “You wanna cum babe?” He asked rhetorically, knowing there was no way for me to answer, before continuing. “Make Brendon cum first, he’s so close.” I sucked harder and looked up into his eyes, soon pushing him over the edge.

“Swallow for me beautiful.” Brendon said as he pulled out of my mouth, I did what he said. He leaned down, kissing me before moving Ryan’s hand out of the way to take over. Between the two of them I was coming almost immediately. That was when Ryan gripped my hips and started fucking into me harder, coming a couple minutes later, before collapsing next to me.

“Fuck that was amazing.” Ryan said a couple minutes later when he had caught his breath as he was disposing of the condom. When he was finished he looked over at me, moved the hair out of my face, and connected our lips in a slow kiss. Brendon untied my wrists and I took the chance to run my fingers through Ryan’s hair.

“It really was.” I answered when we finally parted. It was then that I realized Brendon was pulling his clothes back on.

“Are, are you leaving?” I asked, a little worried that he wouldn’t even want to talk to me after we finished.

“We’ve been up here for a while beautiful.” He answered running his fingers across my jaw and placing a quick kiss there. “We have to head back down soon.”

“Shit.” Ryan said when he looked at his phone and realized the time. “Bren, go grab a cloth so I can clean him up, please.” Brendon nodded, and Ryan started pulling his own clothes on and getting mine in order. By the time Brendon got back Ryan had only had a chance to pull his pants and shoes on. He paused in order to help me clean myself off before handing me my clothes. He then finishing getting himself ready. Lastly, I tied the bandana back around my now sweat drenched hair and nodded to the others to let them know I was ready.

Brendon unlocked the door, deciding to head down first. When I went to go a few minutes later Ryan grabbed my arm and held me back. “Before we go down there, I just wanted to say, thank you I guess, for trusting me. And I would really like to do it again some time. I mean, if there’s not anyone else.” He said a bit awkwardly, not meeting my eyes.

“Are you asking me out?” I asked, biting my lip, unsure if he was interested in me or just sex.

“That depends.” He said, getting some of his confidence back and looking up at me. “Is it a yes?”

“It’s definitely a yes.” I said with a smile, kissing him before taking his hand and heading downstairs.

Neither of us had noticed Pete standing by the staircase until he spoke when we reached the bottom step. “Must have been one hell of a party that I missed upstairs.” My eyes went wide as he stepped closer and continued. “I mean, Brendon and Ryan? Shit, and here I thought you were sweet and innocent. I definitely expect an invitation next time though. I’ve heard that the two of them can be real kinky fucks.” When he moved to grab my ass, Ryan let go of my hand to push him away.

“Hands off Pete, he’s mine now.” Ryan said looking pissed, his whole demeaner changed from what it was just moments ago.

“Well, when you get bored, you know where to find me.” Pete said looking past Ryan, right at me with a wink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think.


	11. I'm Not Okay

** Ashton’s POV **

I got to school early on Monday to meet up with Ryan. Even though we had spent all weekend together, he wanted to introduce me to a friend of his that I had missed at the party and who had been too busy all weekend to meet up, not that we had much free time either. We also wanted to catch Mikey before classes started. I saw Mikey pull in, immediately followed by Michael. While I got excited to see Mikey, I just hoped Michael wouldn’t notice me, but apparently luck wasn’t on my side. Mikey noticed me as he was looking for a place to park his bike and pulled in right next to me. Michael had apparently noticed me as well, because he followed Mikey over and stopped his car, rolling down his window to yell out.

“Hey, where were you this weekend? I tried calling you.” Michael asked me as Mikey was getting off his bike. Mikey looked between the two of us, confused as to who was yelling out their window towards us.

“Hey, happy birthday Mikey, did you guys do anything special this weekend?” I asked Mikey, trying to ignore Michael.

“Ash, hello? I’m talking to you.” Michael tried again, and Mikey shot him a weird look before shaking his head and looking back at me to answer.

“Uh, not really, we mostly just hung out.” He glanced back over at Michael again before lowering his voice and asking me “Is he bothering you? Do you need me to get rid of him?”

“No, he just.” I couldn’t finish what I had been saying though because Michael cut me off by raising his voice and I sighed.

“Are you seriously fucking ignoring me now Ashton? This is fucking ridiculous.” Michael was yelling now, and I decided to finally turn to him, a fire in my eyes.

“I thought you would be ecstatic that you didn’t have to talk to a whore like me anymore.” I spat out, turning around and walking away. I heard Michael’s tires spin out as he finally pulled away, and I kept walking, finally allowing Mikey to lead me where we were expected to meet Ryan.

“So, who the fuck was that and why did you call yourself a whore?” Mikey asked me as we walked, sounding more than a little pissed off.

“He’s my cousin’s best friend.” I started, not really wanting to go into detail. “And I called myself a whore because he called me one.” I didn’t look at him as I spoke, still feeling like absolute shit about it.

“You’re not a whore.” Was how he responded without missing a beat. After waiting for a response and not getting one, he continued. “Is that why you slept with?” I cut him off before he could finish voicing the question I knew he was planning on asking.

“No, not at all. That wasn’t revenge, or rebound, or anything like that. That was different and I’m happy it happened.” I said with a smile as we saw Ryan and another cute guy start walking toward us.

“I’ll fuck him up if you need me to.” Mikey said, causing me to giggle. “I know people, Gee knows people, we could make him disappear.”

“I think I can handle it.” I answered with a sad smile. “But thank you.”

“What can you handle babe?” Ryan asked as he slid his arm around my waist. I hadn’t even realized he’d gotten close enough to hear me and didn’t really want to get into it.

Before I had a chance to respond though, Mikey had answered. “Apparently, some asshole called Ashton a whore.” I felt Ryan’s grip tighten as I shot Mikey a look and he just shrugged, like he didn’t know that he shouldn’t have said that, but also not looking guilty at all.

“Who called you a whore Ash?” Ryan asked me with an edge to his voice, that honestly made me feel anxious.

“Don’t worry about it Ry, I’ll handle it.” I said before turning to the other guy and holding my hand out to shake, deciding to change the subject. “Hi, I’m Ashton.” His smile was infectious, and I couldn’t help but smile back as he shook my hand.

“I’m Alex, it’s nice to meet you.” He answered me before talking to the group. “Sorry I was so busy this weekend, I kind of met someone at the party.”

“That’s okay so did I.” Ryan said, shooting me a smile before continuing. “So who was it?” He asked, all thoughts of the previous conversation out of his mind for now.

“Yeah, come on, give us some details.” Mikey added. I decided against adding anything as I had just met him.

“Well, um, I guess he knows Frank. Like they took some classes together he said.” He answered shyly, with a smile.

“Oooh, so he’s older, got yourself a college boy, huh?” Mikey teased, and I smiled. Before he could tell us anymore the bell rang. We had to start towards first period, but not before telling him we expected more details later. I tried ignoring everyone in first period, not wanting to deal with any of the drama, and succeeded for the most part. I did notice Luke shoot a dirty look at Michael but chose to ignore it. I realized that Pete was sitting near enough to them that he may think I was looking at him if I kept watching.

When the bell rang I raced out and towards the Music classroom. It was one of the few classes I shared with Ryan, and I needed the easy company that I knew I would find there after such a tense class. Once I got there I saw him sitting with Alex and Patrick who waved as I went over to sit with them. Alex decided now would be a good time to continue our earlier conversation even though the teacher was getting ready to start the class. “Anyway, so yeah. The guy I was telling you about, he’s like insanely hot and we might have hooked up a couple times over the weekend.”

“Settle down class, I’d like to introduce you to my student teacher. He will be helping out in class, and I’ll let him introduce himself.” We ignored the teacher as he spoke, choosing to pay more attention to our own conversation as we motioned for Alex to continue.

“He’s got amazing brown eyes, like almost black. And he’s such a fucking nerd, and just so.” Chris said, cutting himself off when a new voice spoke and whipping his gaze towards the speaker before trying to hide himself behind us.

“Hello everyone, I’m Jack Barakat. You can call me Mr. Barakat, Mr. B, or Jack. Please don’t call me Mr. J.” He said in an awful impersonation of Harley Quinn before laughing as he looked around the room. “I guess there’s not a whole lot to say, I’d like to think I’m kind of an open book, so if you have any questions just ask.”

“Why the hell are you hiding?” Ryan asked Alex in a whisper, trying not to bring attention to his friend that obviously didn’t want it.

“That’s him.” Alex whispered back, causing Ryan to let out a laugh that caught everyone’s attention.

“Sorry, continue.” Ryan said to the teacher, at least having the decency to look guilty.

“Okay, class, today I am going to let Mr. Barakat take attendance. You all know the drill; when he says your name, speak up.” He said handing a folder to Jack who started looking through it before pulling out a sheet.

“Shit, shit, shit.” Alex whispered, still trying to stay hidden. Jack started taking attendance, pausing to look up as each person spoke so he could put a face with each name. Before long he came across the name we were all waiting for. “Alexander Gaskarth.” Jack said, whipping his head up obviously recognizing the name, his eyes wide as he searched the room for Alex.

“Um, present.” Alex said quietly raising his hand slightly as he finally sat up and met Jack’s eyes. After a brief pause, Jack cleared his throat and went back to taking attendance before continuing on with class. As class was ending, Jack asked Alex to stay back, the rest of having to leave to make it to our next classes on time. The next class went by too quickly for my liking, and suddenly I was trapped in a seat next to Robin and getting ready to learn sex ed.

“I could give you a private lesson, and a whole lot more in depth.” Pete said, placing his hand on my thigh and trying to move it up my leg.

“No thanks.” I said, trying to push his hand of but not succeeding.

“Come on kitten, I bet I can make you see stars.” He said tightening his grip.

“I said no.” I replied, digging my nails into his hand and making him pull away.

“Shit, kitten got claws, can’t wait to feel them down my back as I fuck.” I cut him off before he could finish, not wanting to hear the end of that statement.

“That’s not gonna happen.” I said sharply before turning back towards the teacher and proceeding to ignore him for the rest of the class. Next was lunch, and I pointedly continued to ignore Pete as he followed me towards the cafeteria. I was doing well until he grabbed my ass and I slapped him across the face, leaving him and continuing on my own. When I reached the cafeteria, I smiled towards Luke and started walking towards him. It would piss off Michael more if I sat there and only ignored him.

“Ash, over here.” I heard to my left and stopped walking to look over, I saw Ryan smile and Brendon waving me over. I sent a smile and wave over to Josh and went to sit by Ryan. When I glanced over I saw Michael, Calum, and Luke in a heated discussion. I turned away and noticed Pete making his way over to the table with a red cheek.

“Shit Wentz, what happened to you?” Dallon asked with a chuckle.

“Oh this? Nothing, just this little hottie playing hard to get.” Pete answered with a smirk, and while I was a bit bothered by what he said I was thankful he hadn’t brought my name up. It seemed that everyone had been brought up to date with what had happened to Alex in music class. He seemed more at ease now, so I was curious as to what they had spoken about after class. I smiled as Ryan leaned his leg against mine in an effort to be touching me as we all caught up and was caught off guard when Dallon spoke up.

“Can we help you?” Dallon asked slightly rude, confusing us all, and I followed his gaze to see Michael at the end of the table. When I saw Mikey, as the only person to recognize Michael, clench his jaw and make a fist I decided to speak up before either of them did anything stupid.

“Leave Mikey, now.” I said sharply, causing everyone to look at me.

“I’m not leaving.” Mikey answered, thinking I was speaking to him.

“That’s rude, what did Mikey do?” Darren asked, placing his hand on Mikey’s shoulder.

“Not him, me.” Michael answered, shortly. “And I’m not leaving either, not until you talk to me.”

“I’m not talking to you. So leave my friends and I alone.” I said, thankful that the others seemed to just be watching our conversation.

“God damn it Ashton, these people aren’t your friends. At least we liked you before you were hot.” Michael spat out, and I could see his anger growing, as well as Ryan and Brendon tensing up next to me.

“And what? You are?” I snapped at him, feeling my own anger flare up, even while Brendon and Ryan were both trying to keep me calm.

“I fucking apologized Ashton, you need to get the fuck over it.” That was the wrong thing for Michael to say.

“You called me a whore Michael, that is not something you just get over.” I spat out, causing everyone’s anger to spike, and even Brendon’s soothing actions to halt and tense and Ryan’s to leave all together. The next thing I knew Michael was on the ground and Luke and Calum had run over, ready to defend him. Surprisingly, Ryan had thrown a punch that laid him out.

“Don’t you ever call him a whore again, got that?” Ryan threatened Michael who while getting helped up by Calum and Luke was almost dropped.

“You did what?” Calum said, getting upset.

“You called Ash a whore?” Luke said, looking like he wanted to punch him too. They led him away, still pissed, as Ryan sat back down.

“Thank you, Ry, but you didn’t have to do that.” I said to him as I took his hand to look over it and place a kiss to it.

“I know, but he called you a whore, then told you to get over it. He deserved it.” Ryan answered, and with a quick glance at everyone else, they all seemed in agreement. I felt like I needed to say something to defend him.

“He’s not usually like that, I don’t know why he did.” I said, looking down.

“It don’t matter, someone who looks like that shouldn’t be calling someone as hot as you a whore.” Pete said shooting me a wink and causing me to roll my eyes.

“I told you to back off Pete.” Ryan said sharply before turning to me. “But he is right babe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think.


	12. High Hopes

** Ashton’s POV **

The rest of lunch was uneventful. Mikey had his face in his phone texting someone, and everyone else was just chatting. When lunch was over, Ryan walked with me as far as he could before we had to separate. He gave me a kiss on the cheek, promising to meet me so we could walk to art class together. Dallon had told us he had to stop by his locker and would meet up with us in class. Once we were out of everyone else’s view, Mikey pulled me aside. “We’re not going to class.” Mikey said, making me look up at him confused.

“What are you talking about? We’re literally on our way there now.” I answered, getting ready to walk again.

“Yeah, no. We’re skipping.” He answered me and took my arm, leading me through the halls while keeping an eye out for teachers. “I was texting Gee during lunch, I told him what happened. He should be just about here by now.”

“Why are we skipping class to meet your brother?” I asked, no less confused but still allowing him to lead me.

“Because you had a shit time, we’re gonna help you forget about it for a while.” I was still confused, but the prospect of being able to forget about everything happening with Michael sounded perfect. When we finally reached the doors, we saw Gerard’s car sitting in the parking lot ready for us. Once we were both in the car, Gerard drove, only stopping once we hit a secluded spot about ten minutes away. When we had parked, we got out and I let them lead me where they wanted to go, and we all sat down.

“So, what’s your poison?” Gerard asked as he went through the bag he had pulled from over his shoulder. I looked at Mikey confused for a second, hoping for an explanation.

“We got a bit of everything.” Mikey answered. “Except maybe e.” He said looking at Gerard who nodded before they both turned to me, apparently seeing my blank look.

“You’ve never used before, have you?” Gerard asked me before turning to Mikey. “What the hell Mikey, could have warned me.” Mikey shrugged.

“I didn’t know, didn’t really think to ask; we know how to get him set though.” Mikey said before turning to me, motioning for me to sit between his legs. “Come over here, I’ll help you through it. Let’s start with the needle, Gee.” Gerard pulled some things out as I moved over to lean against Mikey’s chest. “Okay, let me see your arm.” He told me, and I handed him my arm. I watched him work as he bound something around my arm and rubbed the inside of my elbow.

“It’s ready, gave him only about a half dose since it’s his first time.” Gerard said as he held out a needle to Mikey. Mikey smiled at me and held out my arm, taking the needle from Gerard who had already prepped it.

“Ready?” Mikey asked, and I nodded. I felt the needle prick my arm before a feeling of warmth started taking over. I closed my eyes and leaned against Mikey as I let it start taking over. After what only felt like a few minutes, I was starting to feel better. Mikey spoke up, snapping me out of the trance I had fallen into.

“Ready to try a little something else?” He asked. I opened my eyes looking up at him, before he motioned to Gerard. I noticed he was holding out a piece of glass with two lines of white powder on it and a straw. I nodded with a small smile, uncertain of what to do. “Okay, it’s easy, I’ll go first, then you.” He said taking the straw and glass from Gerard, inhaling one of the lines through his nose. When he had finished he wrapped his arms around me so that he could hold the glass as I followed his example. After an initial slight burn I felt my head start rushing a bit and leaned my head back against Mikey, closing my eyes. I felt amazing, like nothing could bother me in this moment. I vaguely heard Mikey and Gerard talking, only being able to focus on the feeling of Mikey’s fingers tracing shapes on my arms.

“Hey angel, you ready for more?” I smiled at the nickname, not bothering to open my eyes as I nodded, and I heard as well as felt him laugh.

“Here, try these.” Gerard said, and I heard him toss a bottle of pills to Mikey. I opened my eyes to look up at Mikey as he poured a few pills out in his hand. I lifted my hand to trace his jaw with my fingers while he was distracted, making him smile. He closed the bottle and tossed it back before popping two in his own mouth and swallowing them down before holding one out to me. I smiled and opened my mouth to let him put it in and saw him pause before he smirked.

“Turn around for me angel.” Mikey said, and I did as he asked, allowing him to move me how he wanted. Finally, I sat in his lap, facing him. “Ready?” He asked, and I nodded. He placed his hand on my jaw, drawing my face in closer before putting the pill on his own tongue and kissing me to push the pill into my mouth. The kiss lasted only a few moments longer after I had swallowed the pill, before I started giggling and had to pull away. I heard Gerard start laughing, obviously being amused by our interaction.

“Oh my god, he’s fucking adorable Mikey, I love it.” Gerard said before checking his phone. “But we should probably head back soon. You guys have already missed one class and it’s about halfway through the second. You should probably at least make it back for last period.

“Yeeessssssssss.” I said before giggling again. “I have art, and I gotta go to that.”

“You at least seem like you’re feeling better now angel.” Mikey said with a smile and I nodded. “That’s good, let’s head back then.” Mikey added as he helped me up and Gerard made sure he had packed everything back up before leading the way back to the car.

When we made it back to the school, we heard the bell letting us know that class had just ended. It was perfect, we could slip back in with the students rushing to their last classes. Mikey led me to our lockers so that I could grab my bag before class and we ran into Ryan and Brendon who had just left their class. “Ryan.” I yelled, excited, and jumped on him.

“Ashton.” He said back, trying to match my tone but sounding more confused than anything, bracing himself as he almost fell backward into Brendon.

“Well, I gotta go or I’m gonna be late.” Mikey said after laughing at Ryan and me.

“Thank you, Mikey, see you later.” I yelled as I waved him goodbye as I let go of Ryan.

“Same.” Brendon said, waving as he walked away.

“You okay babe?” Ryan asked me as we started walking to our class.

“Yes.” I answered before giggling. “Mikey and Gee helped me feel lots better.”

“You guys skipped to go hang out with Gee?” Ryan asked smiling and shaking his head. “Did you guys at least have fun.”

“Yes.” I said in the same tone as before then lowered my voice to a whisper so no one else could hear, now that we were sitting in class. “We hung out and did some stuff.”

“I know exactly what those two get up to. Was Frank there too, or just you three.” Ryan asked, wanting to hear more about what we did.

“Just us three.” I said, getting distracted as I watched Ryan’s mouth. He smiled when he noticed before leaning forward to place a quick kiss to my lips making me smile.

“You look so beautiful right now, so carefree.” Ryan whispered to me as he reached his hand over to take mine.

“You always look beautiful Ry.” I said smiling as I intertwined our fingers. The rest of the class seemed to pass in a blur, and suddenly the last bell was ringing. Ryan helped me put my supplies away.

“Ready to go?” Ryan asked, I smiled and nodded, allowing him to lead me out to the parking lot where we were to meet everyone else. It seemed we were the first ones out there though, so we went over to his car. He sat me on the hood, standing between my legs to look at me. He started to say something but before he could I pulled him to me and started kissing him. He placed one of his hands on the car to steady himself and used the other to play with my hair.

“Damn, didn’t realize I’d come out to a show.” I heard Pete say after a few minutes and felt Ryan pull his face back. I realized one of my hands had found its way beneath Ryan’s shirt and pulled it out. “Oh no, please continue.” Pete said motioning for us to and I noticed Patrick rolling his eyes beside him.

“Fuck you.” Ryan said as he pulled away, deciding to join me sitting on his car. I started giggling at Ryan’s change in mood, causing Pete to smile. My giggling only got worse when Mikey joined us and started laughing when he heard me.

“Oh my god. Go Mikey, you got him high?” Pete asked when everything clicked.

“Makes sense why I had to deal with you two being nowhere to be found.” Dallon said sounding offended.

“I’m sorry Dal, I didn’t feel so good after lunch, Mikey was just trying to make me feel better.” I said pouting causing him to crack smile.

“Shit, why do you have to be so damn cute?” Dallon asked, making Mikey start laughing again.

“Damn, angel, you just have everyone wrapped around that pretty little finger of yours, huh?” Mikey asked once he had calmed himself.

“Pretty damn close.” Ryan answered for me, wrapping his arm around me and leaning into my neck.

“Hey, what did we miss?” Brendon asked as him and Alex got to us.

“In short, Mikey and Ashton are high off their asses.” Dallon answered. I started giggling again, feeling Ryan smile against my neck as Mikey started laughing.

“Hey, uh, not to be that person, but does anyone recognize the guy heading over here?” Alex asked, looking past the others, back towards the school. I followed his gaze and smiled.

“Lukey.” I yelled excitedly and clapped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think.


	13. Right Back at it Again

** Ashton’s POV **

“Hey Ashton,” Luke started as he came closer. Then, taking in everyone’s defensive state, he continued. “And everyone else.” I hopped off the car with a smile to give him a hug.

“Hi Lukey, I’m sorry I was so busy all weekend.” I mumbled into his shoulder, having missed him.

“It’s okay, I’m sure part of that had to do with Michael. I’m sorry for how he acted, I don’t know what’s wrong with him lately.” Luke said. I felt the same way and was about to voice my opinion when someone else beat me to talking.

“So, does anyone want to explain who this is, because I thought Ashton was dating Ryan.” Dallon spoke up, causing me to giggle as I pulled away from Luke, not noticing as he tensed up.

“Easy there Dal, I am, this is.” I didn’t have a chance to finish the introduction though as Luke cut me off.

“Which one of you is Ryan?” He asked with an attitude. Ryan didn’t miss a beat as he smirked and raised his hand.

“That would be me.” Ryan answered, and before I even knew what was happening I was pushed out of the way as Luke stormed over to Ryan. Luke pulled him off the car, holding him by the collar of his shirt.

“If you so much as.” I cut Luke off as I got between them and shoved Luke back a few steps before anyone else could get involved.

“Luke.” I yelled, making him break the glare he was sending Ryan to look at me. “Calm the hell down, please. We were having a fantastic time, please don’t make me make you leave.” He shot another glare at Ryan as if to tell him it wasn’t over before pulling me in for another hug. I smiled at how protective he was acting.

“Damn he really does have everyone wrapped around his finger.” I heard Pete tell Dallon who agreed. When we finally parted, I decided to finish the introductions that I had tried to start before.

“Now, as I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted.” I started, sending a playful glare towards Luke. “This is my cousin, Luke.” I said with a smile aimed towards Luke. “And Luke, this is Pete, Dallon, Patrick, Andy, Joe, Spencer, Jon, Mikey, Alex, Brendon, and Ryan.” I finished with a smile, all of them raising their hands in a small wave as I introduced them.

“Ah, finally, they’re here.” Mikey said, confusing us all. Once he realized how confused we all looked he pointed a truck that was pulling into a nearby parking spot. “I asked Gee if they could bring the truck to pick up our bikes for us.” I nodded, thanking him before turning towards the truck to wave to Gee who had just gotten out and waved back. Luke shocked me by speaking up.

“Frank?” Luke asked, sounding confused, once Frank had come into view.

“Luke?” Frank said, looking up when he heard his name. “Shit, small world, I didn’t know you knew Mikey.” I felt arms wrap around my waist and a chin settle on my shoulder. When I looked down I recognized the red leather sleeves as Mikey’s and relaxed into his hold with a smile. “Are Michael and Calum around too or is it just you?” At the sound of Michael’s name I felt Mikey’s grip tighten for a second before eventually loosening again.

“Uh, no, I don’t know Mikey. I mean, I just met him. And no, it’s just me right now.” Luke replied, and I saw the amusement on Gerard’s face at this conversation.

“One of Ashton’s friends then?” Frank asked, quickly realizing that I was the only one that Luke could have known without knowing Mikey.

“Um, kinda, he’s my cousin.” Luke said with a chuckle, making Frank laugh.

“No way. This is your baby cousin?” Frank started before I decided to interrupt.

“No offense, but how do you two know each other?” I asked and felt Mikey start laughing behind me.

“Oh, I sell him weed.” Frank answered, getting confused when Luke freaked out.

“Shit, Frank, seriously?” Luke turned to me, his eyes wide. “Please don’t tell my parents. Please Ashton. I’ll do anything.” I had a hard time keeping a straight face as Mikey and Gee started laughing.

“You really think a friend of Mikey’s is gonna snitch on you?” Frank asked giving Luke an incredulous look. “Oh right, you don’t know Mikey. Trust me, I’d say you’re safe.”

“Fuck you Frank.” Mikey said in response, causing Frank to flip him off.

“What do you mean by that?” Luke asked Frank. “Should Ashton not be hanging out with him? Like is he a bad guy?”

“Woah, woah, hey now, hey. My brother might be a pain in the ass sometimes, but he’s a good guy, and a good friend to your cousin. And Ashton is cool, trust us, he won’t snitch to your parents.” Gerard cut in. I zoned out a little as Mikey started tickling me. Mikey and I were in our own little world and had barely noticed when everyone went silent around us, just watching us. “See?” Gerard said after a while, causing us to finally look up and notice everyone watching us.

“I guess you’re right.” Luke finally said “I’ll see you later Ashton, I gotta meet up with the guys. Later Frank, Gerard.” He said with a wave and started off. I refused to watch as he left, not wanting to chance seeing Michael right now.

“Come on Angel, let’s get those bikes loaded up.” Mikey whispered to me and I nodded, letting him lead me across the parking lot.

“So, I didn’t know your brother’s boyfriend sold weed.” I said as we were walking.

“He sells more than weed, that’s usually where we get all our stuff from.” Mikey answered as we reached our bikes and started pushing them back. “But don’t worry, he only said he sells your cousin weed. And Frank isn’t one to tell another people’s business, so he won’t tell Luke about what you do with us if you don’t want him to.” I smiled at him.

“That’s good, I’d rather not get into that with him.” I said as we reached the truck and Mikey pulled out the ramp for the bikes. “I take it this isn’t the first time you’ve gotten high during school and needed your bike picked up.” I said with a laugh.

“Not even close, and it certainly won’t be the last.” He said as he got the bikes settled in the back of the truck. “And you’re welcome to join us anytime.” He added, running his hand down my arm. We were getting ready to head back over to the group when we noticed Gerard and Frank walking over.

“We’re all heading over to our place.” Gerard said. “Ryan offered to give you guys a ride over.” We thanked them and headed over to the others. Brendon rode with us and we seemed to make it there in no time.

“Everyone in?” Frank asked, holding up a couple blunts once we were all settled in at their house. Everyone nodded, and Mikey leaned over to me.

“You ever smoked angel?” He asked me, and I shook my head no. “I’ll take care of you then.” He said before shooting a look to Ryan who nodded. When it came around to us Mikey took his hit, breathing it out slowly. Placing his hand on the back of my neck he pulled me closer as he took another hit. When he removed it from his lips he connected our lips, breathing the smoke into my mouth as we kissed. When we pulled apart, I realized he had already handed it off.

“So, you’re obviously close with Mikey.” Frank started before Pete cut in.

“And fucking Ryan and Brendon.” Pete said with a smirk causing Frank to raise an eyebrow.

“So, tell me Ashton, why did Luke make you out to be so sweet and innocent? The way he talked about you, I’d never have thought you were the same person.” Frank asked, and I shrugged.

“I’ve just changed, I guess. Luke doesn’t know everything about me, and as much as he likes to think otherwise he can’t make my decisions.” I said making Frank nod.

“That’s cool, I get it. Don’t worry man, I won’t tell him shit.” Frank said as he started up the second blunt and took a hit before passing it to Gee. “So, what’s the story with Calum and Michael? You friends with them too? It seemed it from the way they talked, but you never know.” Before I had a chance to explain though Gerard had leaned over and was whispering in his ear. “Gotcha, won’t bring him back up. You seem cool, regardless.”

“Thanks.” I said before realizing that it was my turn again and allowing Mikey to do the same thing he had done before. When we pulled apart this time though Mikey stood up before holding a hand out to help me up.

“We’ll be back.” Mikey said leading me to his room and shutting the door behind him. “I’ve got my own stash in here, figured you’re probably coming down from earlier since I am. Make yourself at home.” He said once we were in the room and I smiled up at him as I sat on the bed. I watched as he grabbed a case from his closet and sat next to me. “Want everything again?” He asked as he opened the case pulling out a few different things.

“Are you sure you don’t mind?” I asked, wanting to make sure before I just accepted.

“I wouldn’t have offered if I minded angel.” He said with a smile. “Frank always gives us a great deal, and I’m sure the two of them got high before coming to pick us up or will be in a little while. So, what do you say?” I bit my lip and nodded.

“Sure, but I may need your help again.” I answered and watched him start prepping the needle.

“No problem angel.” He said. Once he was finished with the needle he took my arm tying the same type of thing around my arm and prepping my inner arm. I watched his hands as they worked before he picked back up the needle. He flicked it once before pushing it into my skin. Before long, the same feeling of warmth from earlier returned and leaned against him as he did the same to himself. Once he was finished he put it away and started setting up two lines on a piece of glass. “Ready angel, or wanna wait a few minutes?”

“Nah, I’m ready now.” I said sitting up, watching his movements as he sniffed his line before holding it for me to do the same. “Shit.” I said after the initial headrush slowed down.

“Yeah, it hits hard the first few times, you’ll get used to it.” He said. Going through the case, he pulled out a couple pill bottles. He looked them over before deciding on one and putting the others back. He opened the bottle taking one and swallowing it down before taking another one out and putting the bottle on his night stand. “Ready angel?” All I could do was nod as I looked from his eyes down to his mouth. He started leaning over me, putting the pill in his own mouth before connecting our lips again and passing the pill to me.

As I swallowed the pill I kissed him back, allowing him to push me down so that I was laying on the bed with him over me. My hands held his hips as one of his hands held him up, the other holding my face as we kissed. After a while he slid his hand down my side until it landed on my leg and he pulled it up, closing the almost nonexistent space between us even more.

We were both too wrapped up in each other that we forgot about going back out to join the others. Neither of us had any thoughts to pull apart until the door opened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think.


	14. Have Faith in Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm amazed by how quickly this story is growing. I have been writing non-stop it seems, and already have the next two completed; which if you're familiar with my work is very rare. Anyway, I hope you enjoy.

** Ashton’s POV **

“Fucking get some, Mikey.” Pete said from the doorway. It caused us to pull apart and look over at the door where a couple of the others had come over to see what he was talking about. Mikey looked down at me for a second before pulling back and sitting on the bed. I couldn’t meet anyone’s eyes as I sat up. “Fuck, if I knew you were this easy I would have.”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence Wentz.” I heard Ryan say and looked down at my lap, wishing for nothing more than to disappear.

“Okay, I hear you loud and clear Ryan, but like, same Pete.” Dallas said, followed by what I assume was someone hitting his arm.

“Okay, nothing to see here.” Gerard said, sending everyone back to where they had been before. I looked up when I heard the door shut, expecting an empty room aside from Mikey. I was surprised to see Ryan, Gerard, and Frank.

“For starters, didn’t you learn anything last time?” Ryan asked, and I couldn’t help but be confused. “The door wasn’t locked, again.” Though that cleared up what he had meant, I still didn’t understand, he should be mad at me.

“Aren’t you mad that I was making out with Mikey?” I asked, not wanting to look at him. Ryan walked over and lifted my face before he spoke.

“I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve gotten drunk and made out with Brendon. It was only a kiss, and it’s not like it was Pete out there.” He said with a small laugh. He placed a quick peck to my lips and smiled. I looked over when I heard Frank laugh, just in time to see Gerard smack his arm.

“Mikey, shame on you. First, you should have locked the door. Second, you should have talked to Ryan about this. Third, you should have talked to Ashton about this.” Gerard said, using his hand to count as he listed off before he turned to me. “Ashton.” He paused until I looked up at him. “This is partly on me, but definitely mostly on Mikey. We should have explained a few things. The drugs we like, they make you feel great, and sometimes you aren’t thinking straight. It’s not uncommon to want to be close to someone or to want to feel certain sensations. That’s actually how Frank and I got together, we’d get high and make out or fuck. Then we hung out more while we were sober, and yeah.”

“Amazing babe, a true love story.” Frank responded dryly. He shook his head before something must have clicked in his head. “Wait, did you say the door wasn’t locked, _again_?” He asked Ryan, who had the decency to bite his lip and look the tiniest bit guilty.

“Um, yes I did, but we were talking about.” Ryan started before getting cut off.

“Oh no, we can go back to that. I definitely want to hear this story.” Frank said looking at Ryan expectantly.

“Ash and I forgot to lock the door when we hooked up at Jon’s party.” He rushed out in one breath.

“And Brendon walked in.” I added, realizing too late that Ryan hadn’t wanted that part to come out when he shot me a look. Mikey started laughing beside me and I looked over at him confused but soon got lost in laughing too.

“They are fucking wasted.” Gerard said shaking his head.

“You know, I can kind of see where Luke was coming from now.” Frank added with a chuckle. When we finally calmed down he continued talking. “So we’re all on the same page. Ryan, you’re fine with this right?”

“Yeah, I’m fine with this.” Ryan answered. “Kind of assumed they would make out anyway, they’ve been getting close before they got high, it’s not a surprise.”

“Okay.” Frank continued. “Mikey, Ashton.” He waited for us to give him our full attention. It wasn’t the easiest thing in the world at the moment but we somehow managed. “Mikey, you’re more experienced, so I expect you not to let anything get too out of control when Gee or I aren’t with you.” Mikey nodded, and Frank turned to me. “And Ashton, Luke texted me. He wants to come pick up, I told him to wait an hour or so because I had people over. I suggest you either figure out how to act so it doesn’t seem like you’re high, you stay in here with Mikey, or you head out for a little while if you don’t want him knowing.” He checked the time on his phone before continuing. “He should be here in about a half hour. I’m assuming he’s bringing the guys since he doesn’t know that I know, and he didn’t say he wasn’t, just warning you.” I leaned into Mikey’s touch as he rubbed my back in a soothing motion.

“Well, we’re gonna start clearing people out.” Gee said after watching us for a minute, before the three of them left the room.

“Well, that was interesting.” Mikey said and started laughing, I couldn’t help but to start laughing too.

“You can say that again.” I said. “Fuck, I can’t believe they’re coming over soon.”

“What do you wanna do?” He asked, watching me.

“I have no idea.” I answered truthfully. He paused before he answered.

“I might have one.” He said before leaning in and mouthing at my jaw and neck. I didn’t even think, I leaned my head to the side to give him better access and hummed, getting lost in the sensation. A few minutes later he seemed to remember our conversation and continued talking. “We should stay here and see how it all plays out, it might be fun. Plus, I don’t feel like leaving my own house.” He said with a laugh making me start laughing too.

 

** Michael’s POV **

We pulled up in front of Frank’s house and I parked my jeep, today was a long fucking day and I couldn’t wait to get stoned. Luke had texted him about an hour ago asking if we could get some weed. Even though we had to wait for his house to clear out, I was happy that he wasn’t out. I knocked on the door and waited for Frank to answer, but instead it was his druggie boyfriend that nobody likes. “Uh, hey. We’re here to see Frank.” I said, not wanting to waste time.

“Yeah, sure, come on in.” He said, stepping out of the way and letting us in before yelling out to the other room. “Frank, they’re here.” He lowered his voice and spoke to us again. “We’ll go to the living room. Just a heads up, my brother is home, he’s got company.” He said as he led us all to the living room and sat down. A few minutes later Frank came out and gave Gerard a cup. “Thanks babe.” He said, kissing him. I had to look away from that display, it was not something I wanted to see; not now, not ever.

I found myself staring towards the closed door, ignoring the surrounding conversation. I heard laughter from the room and shook my head, for a second it had sounded like Ashton _. It must have just been because I couldn’t get him out of my head. Ashton was a good guy, he didn’t hang out with druggies and drug dealers._ I snapped back to reality when I felt Luke nudge me, I looked over to see him holding out a joint. “Thanks.” I said taking it and taking a hit before passing it to Frank. Gerard passed on it, deciding to take a couple pills instead, I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. Of course, he’d rather pop pills. It wasn’t long before we finished the joint, and I still wasn’t feeling as high as I wanted to.

“Thanks man, it’s been a long day.” I said to Frank, thinking back over everything.

“Looks it from that bruise on your face.” He answered, and I reached up to touch it without even thinking.

“Yeah, just something happened with this guy I know.” At that moment the door opened, I saw Ashton walk out with a guy I vaguely remembered from the lunch table and cut myself off. I watched as they walked over to join us, the guy sitting in the chair and pulling Ashton down into his lap, making Ashton giggle. “Are you fucking serious right now?” I snapped, raising my voice and making everyone look at me. _It should be me, not some guy none of us knew._

“Luke are you seriously going to sit here and let this happen?” I asked looking to Luke, who I knew would back me up.

“He isn’t letting anything happen, I am my own person Michael.” Ashton snapped at me. I saw the guy wrap his arms around Ashton and saw red. How dare he touch Ashton.

“I get you wanting to act like a whore Ashton, but now you’re fucking someone who’s probably a drug addict like his brother?” I yelled as I stood up. I saw Ashton’s eyes fill with fire and him open his mouth to say something, but Frank beat him to it.

“Leave.” I whipped my head to Frank as soon as the word left his mouth. When I didn’t immediately move he continued. “Did I fucking stutter? Get the fuck out of my house. How dare you come in here and not only disrespect two of the three people who live here, but also a guest of ours. Someone who I thought was a friend of yours.”

“Wait, I didn’t mean it.” I started only for Luke to cut me off.

“I suggest you leave right now, unless you want me to knock you out too.” Luke said sharply. “And don’t worry, We can handle getting home. You obviously need to cool off.” I looked over to see Ashton hiding his face in the guy’s neck, I huffed and took out my keys throwing them to Luke.

“You guys just take the jeep, I’m gonna walk.” I said as I walked out, slamming the front door.

 

** Luke’s POV **

I couldn’t believe how Michael had just acted. _Frank has always been good to us, and Michael throws a fit and insults people he cared about?_ I was surprised that Frank hadn’t beaten his ass or kicked us out too. After he stormed out, I looked back at Frank to see a raised eyebrow. “I’m really sorry about that, he’s not usually like that, you know that Frank. I don’t know what has gotten into him lately.” It was then that I heard a sob and looked over to see Ashton wrapped in Mikey’s arms, crying into his neck. _Michael better have a damn good explanation for making Ashton cry, or I would be the next person to knock his ass out._ “So, is it too late to double that?” I asked with a small dry laugh. _We would need it after everything_.

“No problem, just straighten out your friend or he won’t be welcome here. I don’t care who he is or who any of you are, you do not come in my house and disrespect me like that.” Frank said, I took it for the threat that I knew it was and nodded.

“I will, there was no need for that. I’m sorry for how he acted, it was uncalled for.” I then turned to Gerard, who although looked a bit out of it, still looked upset. “Gerard, I’m really sorry he said that about you and your brother.” I took a deep breath before getting up and placing a hand on Ashton’s shoulder. I didn't let it show how much it bothered me when he jerked away from my touch. “Mikey, I’m sorry he said that about you, he doesn’t know you well enough to be making any kinds of assumptions. And Ash, I’m so sorry he is being such an asshole to you. You are not a whore, you’re making new friends and Michael is getting jealous that you’re leaving us.” He didn’t answer, but I hadn’t expected him to.

“Thanks.” Frank said, causing me to jerk my head in his direction, not expecting to have him say something. “You aren’t the one that needs to apologize, but it still means a lot that you did.” It wasn’t long after that that we were leaving, heading back towards where I knew Michael would meet us. He better have a damn good explanation for his behavior lately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to leave kudos or a comment, it would mean the world to me.


	15. Pain

** Ashton’s POV **

I spent the night with Mikey instead of heading home; I knew my parents wouldn’t mind, they never seemed to be home anyway. Mikey was fast asleep next to me and I wished that I could do the same. I wasn’t having any luck, so I decided to get a glass of water and see if that helped any. It startled me when I walked into the kitchen and saw someone else sitting there. “Can’t sleep?” Frank asked me.

“Yeah,” I started, as I got a glass of water and sat down across from him, staring down at the water. “I can’t stop thinking about earlier. I don’t know what I did wrong.”

“Hey.” He said making me look up at him. “You did nothing wrong, okay? That was all on him and whatever delusions he’s managed to get in that head of his.”

“Thanks.” I said with a fake smile that he seemed to see right through.

“Come on, I’ll give you something to help get your mind off of that.” He said leading me to the living room and motioning for me to take a seat on the couch while he went to the safe.

“Frank?” I started, waiting for him to look over before I finished. “Could I buy some stuff off you?”

“I’ll even give you the Way discount.” He said with a wink before seeing my confused face. “You’re kind of like an honorary Way now, I’m assuming you want all three?” I bit my lip and nodded.

“Please and thank you.” I said. I watched as he got some stuff together, putting it in what looked almost like a pencil box before setting it on the table in front of us.

“Here’s the combination for that.” He said handing me a small piece of paper that I put in my pocket. “Everything you’ll need is in there, you’ll wanna make sure it stays locked and hidden.” I nodded.

“Thanks, how much do I owe you?” I asked, reaching for my wallet.

“Three hundred.” I counted it out and handed it to him. “If you run out, let me know, I can always front you.” He said putting the money in his pocket, not even bothering to recount it like he had with Luke’s money earlier. “Do you know how to tie your own arm off?” He asked as he prepped the needle.

“Kind of, but not really, Mikey helped me both times.” I said truthfully, I had watched him but not done it myself.

“No problem, I’ll walk you through it, so you know how if you do any on your own.” He explained how to prep everything as he was finishing up before setting down the needle and picking up a strip. “You always want to tie right about here. You can use your teeth to help tie it off.” He said as he pointed to a place on my arm before tying it off, using his teeth to show me what he had meant. “Then, like they do when they take your blood, rub right here to prep your veins.” He explained as he worked. When he deemed my arm ready he picked back up the needle and looked at it before flicking the tip a couple times. “You want to make sure there’s no air in the needle before you inject it.” He said as he slid the needle into my skin. “Then press this down and untie your arm.” He said before he took my free hand and showed me how.

It felt quite a bit more intense this time, he must have given me a bigger dose, I realized. When I looked over he was untying his own arm. I watched his movements as he started putting things away. “Thank you.” I said with a smile, deciding to lay my head in his lap. I needed to lay my head somewhere, and that looked comfortable enough. I watched his face, smiling back when I noticed him smile down at me and start brushing his fingers through my hair. I raised my hand to trace the tattoo on his neck and realized he was saying something. I looked back to his face and watched how his mouth formed around each word. I wasn't able to concentrate long enough to focus on what he was actually saying.

He stopped talking, his mouth pausing on a smile and I pulled his face down and met him in the middle with a kiss. He kissed back, somehow managing to be slow but taking control immediately. He was definitely one of the more dominant people I had kissed. We had been making out for about ten minutes when it finally occurred to me what we were doing. I simultaneously pulled away and pushed him back. “Fuck, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. I should, I should go.” I said as I leapt off the couch and ran to Mikey’s room, not giving Frank a chance to say anything. I locked the door and sat against it, staring at the space ahead of me and not focusing on anything else.

_How could I let myself do that? They trusted me, Ryan trusted me. Maybe I really am turning into a whore like Michael said. Michael has known me for years, he would know what he was talking about. Michael wouldn’t lie to me. I finally got a guy to like me and I made out with two of his friends and blew a different one. Oh god, is Michael right? Do they only like me because I got hot? Does Ryan only like me because I got hot? Am I even really hot? Why am I such an idiot?_

The next thing I knew I was being shaken awake by Mikey, my eyes snapped open and stared at him. “You alright angel?” I took in my surroundings and realized that I was still leaning against the door.

“Mikey?” I asked, almost feeling like I wanted to cry. He must have noticed something was off because he pulled me to him and rubbed my back as he held me.

“Shh angel, it’s okay. I promise, everything will be okay.” I held onto him for a while longer before finally pulling away as he continued talking. “I’ll get you something to wear, I’m sure I have something that’ll fit and won’t be too out of your style.” He headed over to his closet, pulling out a few things and tossing them on the bed. I kept picturing what had happened last night, and I knew I would have to see him this morning. I didn’t realize Mikey was talking to me again until I heard him call to me. “Angel?”

“Hmm?” I answered, turning to face him.

“I said there’s some clothes on the bed for you, you can either change in here or across the hall in the bathroom.” He said softly, still looking worried.

“I, uh, I can change in the bathroom.” I said, uncertainly, as I started getting up from where I had spent the night and feeling the stiffness.

“Okay, I’m gonna go get a cup of coffee. You want one?” I nodded and grabbed the clothes.

“Yeah, uh, I’ll be right back. Oh, um, light and sweet please.” I said rushing to the bathroom, hoping to avoid anyone else on my way through. I thanked my luck when I managed to make it there without running into anyone.

A few minutes later I heard Mikey yell from the living room. “Hey Frank, are you expecting a pick up soon?”

“Oh, no. That’s Ashton’s, he forgot it last night, can you bring it to him.” Frank called back. He sounded normal, not like he was angry with me, but I couldn’t chance it. Once I finished getting dressed, I looked myself over in the mirror. The outfit looked somewhat like I would wear, and I just hoped no one would be able to tell the difference. When I got back to the room Mikey was already dressed and sitting on the bed holding out a cup of coffee for me. I sat next to him as I took the cup and started drinking it.

I was about halfway through my cup when I realized it wasn’t helping my nerves and decided fuck it. I grabbed the box and the combination out of the pants I had been wearing. I wasted no time putting it in and grabbing the pills from inside, I knew they would calm my frayed nerves. I took one and held the bottle out to Mikey. “Want some?” I asked.

“Sure, why not.” He answered and took one for himself, swallowing it down. “Thanks angel.” He said as I put them back in the box, locking it and sticking it in the bottom of my bag for school. Mikey raised an eyebrow but otherwise didn’t comment on my decision.

Once we finished with our coffee, we brought the cups out to the sink. Gerard and Frank were sitting at the table and I avoided looking at them both. Frank started to say something to us, and I panicked. I grabbed Mikey’s arm and pulled him towards the door. “We gotta go, see you guys later.” I yelled on to them on our way out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think.


	16. When I Come Around

** Ashton’s POV **

We got to the school and parked our bikes in our usual spots. I looked around confused at the almost empty parking lot before checking the time on my phone. I realized we were close to a half hour early. “Shit.” I said, deciding to walk towards the back where everyone else always parked to sit against a tree, not knowing what else to do. Mikey followed me, staying silent until I pulled the box back out of my bag and opened it, my hands a little shaky.

“Okay, what’s up?” He asked. I ignored him, instead focusing on cutting out two lines like I had watched him do. We were far enough away that no one could tell what we were doing. “Angel, come on, tell me what’s wrong.” I sniffed my line and handed it to him.

“I fucked up.” I answered simply, leaning my head back against the tree behind me, enjoying the head-rush. Once he finished with his he put it back in the box and closed it, making sure I locked it.

“Whatever it was, I’m sure we can fix it. Tell me what happened.” He said. When I turned to him he looked a little sad, like he wanted to fix what was wrong; but he couldn’t, and I didn’t want to lose him.

“Michael was right.” He looked pissed for a minute as I continued. “I am a whore.”

“Woah, hold up, what brought this on?” He asked as he pulled me to him. “You are not a whore.”

“I made out with Frank last night.” I mumbled, not able to bring myself to look at him until he laughed. “What the fuck are you laughing about, this isn’t a joke.” I said, pushing away from him and getting upset.

“No angel, that’s not why I’m laughing, I swear.” He said once he had finally gotten himself under control. “Is that really what this is about?” I nodded, and he continued. “I’m guessing you guys were both high.” Another nod. “We already had this conversation then, it’s normal. Frank and Gee, they have somewhat of an open relationship. Especially when either of them is high or they see a pretty face. Honestly, it’s no surprise that you guys made out, probably even less than us making out. Hell, I've even made out with Frank at some point. It’s actually a little surprising that you only made out.” He said making me giggle. “Don’t worry about it, okay?” I nodded and leaned over, kissing his cheek.

“Thank you.” I whispered before hearing a voice I so was not ready for this early in the morning.

“Where the hell is my kiss?” Pete said, I looked over to see him, Dallon, and Patrick walking towards us and flipped him off. It was then that Pete took in what I was wearing because he whistled and opened his mouth again. “Shit, you fucking Mikey now too?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Mikey asked him. “Are you high or some shit.”

“Well he spent the night with you, I mean, those are your clothes.” At Mikey and I’s confused looks he continued, neither of us thought Pete paid attention to what anyone wore. “Mikey, you were wearing those same clothes the first time we hooked up.” Mikey and I stared at him for a minute before Mikey’s eyes went slightly wider, that’s when Pete decided to continue. “Now Ashton, seriously, don’t I get a kiss this morning?” I looked over at Mikey and he smirked, he knew I had a plan. I stayed silent as I packed my bag back up and stood up, walking over to where they stood.

“Nope.” I said popping the p then leaning over and kissing Dallon on the cheek. “But Dal does.” I added with a giggle and started off, hearing Mikey laugh.

“And you accuse me of being high.” Pete said, shaking his head.

The others were starting to get here now, Ryan had just parked his car. I decided to run over to the passenger side and opened it with a smile. “Oh, uh, hi Ash.” Brendon said from the passenger seat, surprising me a little. I smiled at him before leaning over to kiss Ryan. I ignored the groan a couple minutes later from Brendon who was now trapped under me.

“I could get used to seeing that view every morning.” I heard Dallon say and couldn’t help but smile into the kiss.

“Don’t do it.” I heard Mikey say only seconds before a hard slap landed on my ass. I bumped my head on the roof of the car, biting my lip to hide how much I actually liked that. Ryan seemed to realize though because he smirked and placed a peck on my lips before getting out. I followed his lead, finally freeing Brendon.

“Okay who was it?” Ryan asked looking over the roof of his car at us.

“Pete.” Mikey said only seconds before anyone else.

“Pete.” Dallon added, not waiting for Mikey to finish.

“Pete.” Pete said, then realized and added “Shit, I mean, it wasn’t Pete, it was some other guy.”

“And you wonder why I didn’t give you a kiss on the cheek this morning.” I said shaking my head. I decided to rub it in even more by placing a kiss to Brendon’s cheek before getting picked up and thrown over Pete’s shoulder. “Hey. Let me down.” I said with a giggle trying to squirm enough to make him let me go.

“Don’t think so, we have class, see you guys later.” He said and started walking towards the school.

“Pete.” I whined. “Let me down, I can walk.”

“Nah, I like this view. Your ass looks great in these pants.” He answered making me blush, not that he could see.

“Fuck you Pete.” I said without any real heat, hiding my face in his back so I didn’t have to see everyone staring.

“Any time Ash.” He replied without missing a beat. I huffed and decided to stay silent for the rest of the trip. He finally set me down once we were in the classroom. I took my seat after sending him a playful glare, letting him know I would be getting him back for that.

The morning classes raced by and soon enough I was walking over to our table in the cafeteria with Jon and Pete. Our class was released a few minutes early. I felt hands go over my eyes and lips mouth at my neck for a second before I heard Ryan say, “Guess who.” I smiled, deciding to mess around with him.

“If it’s anyone other than Pete, I’ll be extremely disappointed. I mean he did carry me all the way to class this morning.” I answered, hearing a laugh to my side.

“Awwww, Pete, you carried him all the way to class? I thought you would have put him down as soon as you entered the school.” Patrick asked as Ryan uncovered my eyes.

“Babe.” He sounded almost hurt. “You cannot be serious right now.” I turned and kissed him.

“You’re right, he’s probably a better kisser.” I added with a giggle. “Kidding babe.” I added kissing him again. “Dallon might be though.” I couldn’t resist.

“Woah, hey now, don’t drag me into this.” Dallon said, sounding a little worried.

“You brought yourself into this when you were staring at my ass earlier.” I answered before turning back to Ryan.

“And what an ass it is.” Ryan said kissing me again.

“True.” Dallon and Pete said at the same time, making me laugh and break the kiss.

“So, Ryan.” Mikey started once everyone else was in their own conversations, quiet enough that only us three could hear. I looked across at him, worried about what he would say. “Do you remember when you made out with Frank.”

“Which time?” Ryan asked, and Mikey looked at me with a raised eyebrow as if to say _I told you so_. “Though, in my opinion your brother was better, a lot more hands on, less dominating. Wait, why are you even bringing this up?” Ryan asked, wrapping an arm around me before seeming to notice the look Mikey was giving me. “Oh my god, he didn’t.” Mikey nodded, _traitor_. Ryan leaned over and kissed me, and I knew he didn’t mind, I just couldn’t believe Mikey had told him.

“Dal.” I said as lunch was ending. “Will you walk with me to science, since Mikey is a meany.”

“And how can I say no to such a pretty face, let’s go.” He answered, I stuck my tongue out at Mikey and walked out with Dallon. The classroom was still empty when we got there, so we went to the back table where we sat with Mikey and put our stuff down. Mikey came in a couple minutes later and sat next to us.

“Rude.” He stated as he sat down, and I giggled.

“You’re the one that’s rude.” I said, sticking out my tongue again.

“Sorry angel, I’ll make it up to you.” I didn’t have a chance to ask him how he planned to do that because other students started piling in, including Michael who decided to walk over to us. Mikey started humming a familiar tune and as Michael approached the table he started singing quietly. “Well, I heard it all before, so don’t knock down my door. I’m a loser and a user so I don’t need no accuser. To try and slag me down because I know you’re right.” I saw Michael get mad as he turned and stormed away.

“Green Day, really?” I asked, and Mikey shrugged with a smile.

“What the hell was that about?” Dallon asked, sounding confused and interested.

“Oh, that asshole came over to my house yesterday. He then decided it would be a great idea to call Ash a whore again.” I saw Dallon getting pissed already, his hands clenching into fists. “Then proceeded to call me and Gee drug addicts.”

“Are you fucking serious?” Dallon said starting to get up. “I’ll beat his fucking ass right here.” I grabbed his arm, pulling him back down and he looked at me.

“Please don’t, I don’t want anyone getting into trouble.” I pleaded, he nodded his agreement and we started working on the assignment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to let me know what you think.


	17. Everything is Fine

** Ashton’s POV **

It was nearing the end of study hall when Ryan got my attention, not that I had been particularly focused on anything other than him at the moment either way. I had already finished my work and had nothing to do. “Babe, can we talk?” he asked, making me worry a little bit.

“Um, of course, is everything okay?” I asked, hoping he couldn’t hear the waver in my voice.

“Everything is fine, I just was hoping maybe I could drive you and Bren could take your bike over to the Way’s house.” I looked over to see Brendon didn’t seem surprised by Ryan’s suggestion, which meant Ryan had talked to him first. I nodded, digging into my pocket to get the key out, holding it out of his reach.

“Be careful or so help me god Brendon, they will not find your body.” I said before handing him the key once he nodded.

“Thanks babe.” Ryan said, leaning forward to kiss my cheek right as the final bell rang. I smiled a little, but I knew it didn’t reach my eyes.

Ryan started driving, deciding to take the long way so that we had time to talk before we got to the house where everyone else would be. “You’re not high right now, are you babe?” he asked as we drove. _Did he have a problem with me getting high with Mikey?_ “Because this is something I want to make sure we both are one hundred percent positive about.” _Oh god, he was gonna break up with me_.

“No, I haven’t had anything since this morning.” I answered, no matter how much I wanted to open the case and take a pill or two right now, I wouldn’t, for Ryan.

“Okay, good.” He looked over at me, seeing my anxiety on my face, and mistook where it was all coming from. “It’s not that I mind you getting high babe, that’s not it at all.” That made me feel a little better. “This is just a very important conversation, that we really should have had earlier, and it’s best that we are both sober for it, so we don’t regret it later.” And there it is again.

“It’s fine, we’re both sober, what is this conversation?” I asked, I was pretty sure I already knew, but I didn’t want to be the one to voice it, I couldn’t be.

“I think that maybe we should have an open relationship, like Gee and Frank. We’re already mostly there, we just need to discuss what we are each comfortable with, as far as outside of this relationship.” When I didn’t say anything, he decided to continue. I didn’t really know what to say though, that was not what I thought this conversation was going to be about. “Okay, I’ll start. It’s fine if you want to kiss or make out with other people, especially if you are high.”

“Like all other people? Or are their exceptions?” I asked before I could stop myself, I was honestly curious.

“No babe, all other people. Though as a personal preference, I’d like them to be at least somewhere as pretty as us.” He said with a wink, making me feel better. “We don’t need you lowering your standards.” I giggled when he added that.

“You’re right, and the same for you Ry, no one under,” I paused for a second to think it over before continuing. “let’s say a seven.” He laughed, and I took the chance to take in every detail of the way his face moved.

“You’re staring babe.” He said with a smile a second later, I had been caught.

“I can’t help it.” I said, before leaning over the center console to kiss at his neck. “You’re absolutely gorgeous. But let’s finish our discussion before they send out a search party because we’re taking too long.”

“Okay, um, shit babe. Can you please stop that for a second, so I can think?” he asked with a groan, after I had begun sucking on his neck. I pouted but pulled away regardless. “Thank you. So, the flirting, I’m fine with that, just as long as they know we’re dating.”

“I’m sure everyone knows by now Ry, we haven’t exactly kept it a secret. I agree though, flirting is fine, but no multiple relationships.” I said, and he nodded. I looked around and noticed we were getting close to the house and almost missed what he said.

“So, I think as far as sex goes, we should maybe discuss it with each other before actually doing it. Like just to make sure that the person is someone that the other person feels comfortable with sleeping with the other. Does that make sense?” He said, focusing straight ahead, probably worried with what my reaction would be.

“Yes, and I completely agree Ry. If the other person can’t respect that then we don’t need them.” I answered, taking his hand in mine, feeling a little anxious about bringing up the next part. “But like, what about when it’s not actually sex?”

“Like fooling around? Or like a blow job?” he asked, and I knew he was asking which I had meant, but I was curious about both.

“Uh, yes. I mean, both I guess.” I answered as he pulled up to the house and parked the car, taking a second to think it over before leaning forward to kiss me.

“I think it’s probably fine if we don’t talk about that before, a lot of times it happens in the heat of the moment anyway. Maybe bring it up afterward though, like is that cool?” he asked, and I nodded.

“Yeah, I can work with that.” I said, climbing over the console and into his lap to kiss him. “We should probably go in.” I said after a few minutes, though not wanting to pull apart. “We don’t need them sending someone to come check on us.” I kissed him again.

“You’re probably right.” He said when we pulled apart again, before reaching around me to open the door, so we could both get out. I held his hand as we walked up the path to knock on the door. It took me a second to process who opened the door when it finally opened.

“Mr. Barakat?” I asked, confused until he opened the door wider and I noticed Frank behind him and vaguely remembered Alex saying something about them being friends. Mr. Barakat looked back at Frank who just nodded once before looking back at us, looking me over before speaking.

“Yeah, I’d fuck him.” He said to Frank, like neither of us were here, before holding his hand out to take mine. “Call me Jack, doll, we’re not in a classroom. If you do decide not to call me Jack, I much prefer sir anyway.” He said shooting me a wink as he kissed my hand. I looked over at Ryan who was trying not to laugh as he walked into the house with Frank, leaving me in the doorway with Jack.

“Well, sir.” I started, teasingly. “I hope you don’t just expect me to put out for a teacher.” I said stepping closer, feeling a new sense of confidence from the conversation Ryan and I had shared. “However, maybe I could be persuaded.” I said as I ran a finger down his chest, hearing his sharp intake of breath.

“That’s one hell of an offer doll.” He said watching my every movement.

“And I was always taught to be a _good boy_ , and not offer something if I didn’t plan to follow through.” I said lowly, stilling my finger right above the button to his pants and licking my lips. Looking into his eyes I knew my message was clear, _your move_.

“Jack, Ashton.” We heard Gerard call from the other room before either of us had a chance to do anything else.

“I guess we’ll just have to finish this later.” I said as I stepped past him and into the house, heading towards the living room, making sure to brush against him on my way through. I sat down between Mikey and Ryan on the couch, Jack taking the seat over by Frank. I noticed Ryan and Brendon were in the middle of a conversation, so I silently took Ryan’s hand and intertwined our fingers as I turned to Mikey.

“So, what did I miss?” I asked, knowing that we had been later than everyone else.

“Nothing too interesting, I’d rather know about what you and Jack were talking about.” He said, doing nothing to hide the grin from his face. I bit my lip and glanced over to Jack before turning back to Mikey.

“That has yet to be determined.” I said with a smile.

“Well if you’re not gonna give me any details, at least tell me why you rode here with Ryan instead of taking your bike.” He said, pouting. “I missed your company, Bren is a dickhead.”

“Oh, we just had to talk about some things, we’re all good.” I said, smiling when I felt Ryan squeeze my hand for a second, letting me know he had heard what I had said.

“Well, what do you all say to making this a party?” Frank asked. “We’ve got drugs, there’s beer in the fridge, and none of us have anything better to do anyway.” When everyone agreed Frank sent Spencer and Andy to grab beers for who ever wanted one while he went to his safe, talking as he got what he wanted out. “Let’s separate into two groups; everyone who just wants weed go to one side, everyone who wants something a little harder go to the other.” Ryan pulled me in for a light kiss before going to the other side. Apparently, only Mikey, Jack, Gerard, Frank, Pete, Dallon and I did anything other than weed.

Frank handed the other group a couple blunts before taking his seat next to Gerard, taking a quick head count before cutting out lines for each of us. I got comfortable and leaned against Mikey as the glass got passed around. After sniffing mine, I took a sip from the beer I had been given before leaning back against Mikey again as we all chatted. “Pills?” Frank asked a few minutes later, holding up a bottle; this time Pete and Dallon declined. Mikey took his own before holding the bottle for me, making me shake my head.

“I think you know me a little better than that.” I said low to him, smiling when he smirked and took another pill out before tossing the bottle to Jack who was on the other side of me. He placed the pill on his tongue before pulling me in to kiss me and pass the pill to my mouth.

“I change my mind, I’ll take one, but I need Ashton to help me with it.” Pete said, causing me to break the kiss with a giggle before Mikey pulled me back in. I had to pull away a minute later when I felt my phone start going off. Mikey noticed the picture as I looked over it and smiled.

“Damn he’s hot.” He said, making me smile as I pulled myself away from him to answer the call and go to the kitchen, where it was quieter.

“Hey Zaynie.” I said excitedly as I answered the phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to let me know what you think, it means a lot.


	18. Irresistable

** Ashton’s POV **

I looked at my phone and realized I had been on talking for about ten minutes, just leaning against the counter to watch out the window as a couple squirrels chased each other. Feeling hands settle on my hips and someone pressed against me, their mouth pressed to my neck, I couldn’t help but smile. I was feeling both pretty drunk and pretty high at the moment, so I didn’t immediately respond to him, instead waiting until one of his hands slipped under my shirt and I gasped as I felt the cold fingers. “Zaynie, can you hold on one second please? I have a needy boyfriend that is trying desperately to get my attention.” I said, figuring it was Ryan behind me and not wanting to get distracted.

“That’s fine, but I do expect an explanation when you get back.” He said, and I realized I had slipped and forgot to tell any of them about Ryan, _oops_.

“Will do.” I said quickly, pulling the phone from my ear and silencing the microphone, just in time for Zayn to miss the quiet moan that escaped my lips as he found a specific spot on my neck.

“Ry, please, I’m on the phone.” I said with a smile, arching my back slightly while leaning my head to the other side to give him better access.

“Hmm, guess again.” A voice that was definitely not Ryan answered, startling me.

“Shit.” I said, pushing away from the counter, not expecting the other guy to hold his ground and press me further against it. I looked over my shoulder, not expecting who stood behind me. “Frank? What the fuck?”

“Shh, don’t worry, I already talked to Ryan about it. You just look so good bent over like this, I couldn’t help myself.” He said before grabbing my hair and pulling me back, so I was pressed against his chest again. “Don’t wanna leave your friend waiting any longer, would you?” he said, picking up the phone.

“I’ll call him back.” I said, not wanting this to stop.

“Nonsense, talk to him now, I know how to be quiet. Just keep talking.” He whispered, pressing the button so Zayn could hear before pressing the phone to my ear and going back to mouthing at my neck. I fought to stay quiet against how good he was already making me feel.

“Ash?” Zayn asked when I didn’t immediately start talking.

“Yeah, uh, sorry. I’m back.” I said, trying hard not to react to Frank.

“So, what’s this about a boyfriend? Is it that Michael guy? Or did you find someone better?” Zayn asked teasingly.

“Ashton’s got a boyfriend?” I heard Liam ask in the background.

“Shit.” I said as Frank slid his hand over my clothed dick.

I didn’t realize I had said it out loud until I heard them both ask “What?” I cleared my throat before answering, trying to get my voice even.

“No, nothing, I just didn’t realize you were both there.” I answered, realizing how stupid that sounded as soon as the words came out of my mouth.

“Unless I’m at a photoshoot or he’s at work, were just about always together, you know that.” Zayn said, sounding a little confused. “But seriously, tell me about this boyfriend of yours.” I was finding it extremely hard to concentrate as Frank opened my pants to slide his hand in.

“He, his name, it’s Ryan.” I said, trying to keep my thoughts in order. I bit my lip and leaned my head back against Frank’s shoulder as he gripped my dick and slowly started moving his hand. “We met at a party.” I knew I was talking slower and in shorter thoughts than what they were used to, but it was the only way I knew I could make semi-coherent statements.

“The party that you were thinking of skipping?” Zayn asked, with a clear _I told you so_ voice.

“Mhmm.” I responded, gripping the edge of the counter with my free hand and trying not to make any sounds.

“See, I told you. So, tell me about him, what’s he like?” Zayn asked, I desperately wished he would take over the conversation or have to hang up, but luck apparently wasn’t on my side with that.

“Uh, he uh, fuck. He’s like really hot, and really sweet.” I started, trying to concentrate on the conversation instead of Frank’s hand. “I get along great with all of his friends.” I said, making Frank slap my ass. “I mean, I guess our friends. They’re my friends now too.”

“Are you okay?” Zayn asked, sounding concerned.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” I said, in fact I was so much better than fine right now.

“I expect a picture Ash, not just you saying he’s hot.” Zayn said. “I mean, you have seen me, right?” Liam laughed at that. Normally I would have too, but normally I didn’t have someone jerking me off as I tried talking to one of my best friends.

“Yes Zee.” I said, trying to focus on forming the words. “No one, no one can hit your level of hotness.” I bit my lip to hold in the moan as I felt Frank bite my neck. “But shit, Zee, he is hot. I will send you a picture though.”

“You fucking better, I expect it tonight too.” He said with a laugh.

“Yeah. Uh can I, can I call you back later.” I asked, knowing I wouldn’t last much longer.

“Of course, we’ll talk to you later Ash.” I just barely heard him reply before I ended the call and tossed my phone onto the counter in front of me. I reached behind me to grab him by the hair, pulling him into a kiss and moaning into his mouth.

“Fuck, please.” I pleaded when he stilled his hand then removed it from my pants altogether. He flipped me around, slamming me back into the counter and pulling me into another heated kiss.

“I should just leave you like this.” He said, lifting me to sit me on the edge of the counter. “Desperate for anything.” He stepped between my legs, keeping them separated. “I told you to stay on the phone, didn’t I?”

“Please.” I said kissing him again, gasping and pulling back when he bit my lip hard. I reached up to touch my lip and noticed it was bleeding a little.

“Answer the question.” He ordered, looking down at my lips before leaning forward to lick along my bottom lip, _I should not find that as hot as I do_.

“Yes, you did. I’m sorry, please. I was so close and didn’t want them to hear.” I said, not caring that I had a slight whine to my voice.

“And what about the others in the living room?” He said, sliding his hand back down the front of my pants. “They could walk right in here. See you spread out for me.” He started pumping me again, making me bite my lip to hold in my moan, which he apparently didn’t like. “Let me hear you moan like a whore.” He said as he grabbed my throat with his free hand, tightening his fingers just enough to make me feel them and making me whimper, _why did that feel so good?_ “I bet right now I could fuck you right here, make you scream my name. I bet I could make you forget about everyone else. You’d fucking love it.” He must have known how close I was because he pulled me closer by my throat, kissing me. Then he twisted his wrist and I came in his hand, moaning into his mouth.

I was breathing hard when we separated, he used his hand that had been around my throat to trace across my bottom lip. “You’re so fucking responsive, I love it.” He said. Removing his hand from my pants, he grabbed the towel from where it was hanging and wiped it off. When he was finished he tossed the towel to the side and kissed me again before fixing my pants. “Gee is gonna love you.” He said as he pulled back.

“What?” I asked, still a little dazed, and confused where that had come from.

“You heard me princess.” He said, leaning closer again before continuing. “Gee and I are going to fuck you so hard, you’ll be seeing stars.”

“No, I mean, I’m pretty sure it’s not like that with him.” I said. I knew Frank knew him better than I did, but I was pretty sure Gerard was not interested in me in that way.

“Oh, but it is princess. You’ll be begging us to fuck you, and when we finally do, we’ll make you scream.” I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as he spoke, I was fairly certain Gerard had never even looked twice at me, but I had also thought the same about Frank. After a minute he looked me over before talking again. “You should make yourself a bit more presentable before we go back out there, you look freshly fucked.” I could feel my cheeks heating up.

“And who’s fault is that?” I asked, he was the one that had come onto me.

“Definitely mine, never said it wasn’t, but do you really want to walk out there right now and let everyone see you like this?” he asked. _Damn, why did he have to be right?_

“You’re right.” I said, getting ready to jump down when he helped me down. I looked myself over and fixed my clothes, feeling Frank start fixing my hair.

“Next time, I’ll let you return the favor.” He said before grabbing a couple beers out of the fridge and heading back out to the living room, leaving me alone. I grabbed my phone off the counter and opened the camera to look myself over, I looked mostly alright, but there were still some tell-tale signs of what had happened. I tried fixing the shirt and jacket in a way that would hide most of the marks on my neck, but that did nothing for where he had bit my lip open. I ran my tongue along my lip, feeling it, as I shoved my phone back in my pocket and grabbed a beer before going back out with the others.

I sat down with Mikey, leaning against him again before glancing around the room and noticing the seating arrangements had changed again. “Hey angel.” Mikey said as he wrapped his arms around me. “How was your phone call.”

“It was good.” I said, glancing quickly at Frank who I noticed was smirking at me. “I got to tell him about Ry.” I added with a smile.

“That’s good, we’re getting ready to play a game if you wanna join.” He said resting his chin on my shoulder. “It’s kind of like a cross between spin the bottle and seven minutes in heaven, I guess.” He went silent for a moment before speaking again. “He didn’t.” he said as he moved part of the collar further down my neck and I felt myself blush. “Seriously? In my clothes? God damn it, I’m going to fucking kill him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to let me know what you think, it means a lot.


	19. All the Small Things

** Ashton’s POV **

“Shh.” I said, fixing the collar of the jacket before looking around to see if anyone had heard our exchange. I saw that the only person paying us any attention was Frank, who was still smirking. “Game?” I asked Mikey, trying to distract him and change the subject as I turned back to him.

“Oh, yeah. It’s something we do sometimes at parties. You know, you’d probably know about it if you hadn’t disappeared at the last one.” He said with a laugh.

“Dick.” I said without any real heat. “If I hadn’t disappeared then there’s no guarantee that I’d be here right now. Wouldn’t that suck?”

“Yes, I’m sure Frankie would just be devastated.” He teased, trying not to laugh.

“Shut up.” I said shoving him a little and making him break and laugh. “Why do you gotta bring that back up? Just tell me about the game.”

“Well, for starters, it usually starts with us getting drunk and/or high.” He started, and I just gave him a look as if to say I figured as much, seeing as we all already were. “Then we get in a circle and put a bottle in the middle.” He said motioning as he spoke. “Then the first person spins the bottle and whoever it lands on, they go to ‘heaven’. While those two are in the other room, the rest of us play regular spin the bottle until the timer goes off after seven minutes and we get the original two to rejoin us. Then the next couple goes in and play repeats like that, until we get bored.”

“Sounds simple enough. Who usually starts it off?” I asked, hoping it wouldn’t be me.

“Usually whoever is hosting the party, so I guess probably Frank this time.” He said looking over and nodding when he saw Frank setting up the bottle. “Yeah Frank is.” He spun the bottle and I got a little anxious that it would land on me when it started slowing, but it wound up landing on Mikey.

“Okay Iero, let’s go.” Mikey said getting up and leading him to the guest room that we would be using. “You’ve got some fucking explaining to do.” I heard him say as they shut the door and Gerard started up the timer before taking his turn to spin. As the game went on I lost track of who had gotten paired off with who but looking around now I knew that Dallon and Ryan were in the other room. It was Jack’s turn to spin and it landed on me, he looked across with a clear challenge on his face. I wasted no time crawling over and connecting our lips for a moment before pulling away.

“My turn again.” I said and smiled, getting ready to spin when the timer went off. That meant whoever it landed on when I spun, I had to get locked in a room with. Joe went over to let Dal and Ry know their time was up with three knocks. When they rejoined us, I spun, not really knowing who I would prefer it to land on. I did know however, that the person it did land on, was the last person on my list.

“Fuck yes, let’s go.” Pete said, pulling me up and towards the room as I groaned. “Feel free to wait to start the timer.” He called back.

“No, fuck that, you get less time now.” Ryan said, making me laugh a little.

“Everybody gets exactly seven minutes.” I heard Gerard say as Pete shut the door before leaning in to kiss me. I turned at the last second and he kissed my cheek, before pulling back.

“Well, shit, fine, I guess we can just talk.” He sighed and looked around. “I’ll start I guess. So, why did you decide to switch to contacts, the glasses were cute.” I looked at him confused. _How the hell did he know I wore contacts or glasses? I hadn’t told any of them and didn’t know them before. Ryan didn’t even know._ He seemed to realize and continued talking. “I dig guys that have a nerdy side.” He shrugged. “You’ve always been cute, now you’re hot, and finally.” I didn’t let him finish what he had been about to say as I pushed forward and kissed him.

His reaction was immediate, he pushed me against the wall, never separating our lips. _He was an amazing kisser, not that it was a surprise._ He wrapped my legs around his waist, using the wall to help support me as we kissed, and I felt his hands hold my ass. _How had I never realized how good he smelled?_ He moved from kissing my mouth to my jaw, before settling on my neck. I moaned as he found one specific spot on my neck and felt him smirk before starting to suck. “Shit, fuck, please.” I said not really knowing what I was asking for as he ground his dick against mine. _I needed more._ I felt him try to slide his hand down the back of my pants, groaning when he didn’t have any luck. I reconnected our lips and took one of my hands from where they had been holding onto Pete to open my pants to give him room, he immediately took the chance and slid his hand inside. I finally pulled apart from the kiss when I realized someone was pounding on the door. “Fuck, they seem pissed.”

“Five more minutes.” Pete yelled out before going back to kissing my neck.

“You’ve already been in there for ten.” I couldn’t focus on who said it as he started biting the spot on my neck, his fingers sliding along my crack, making me bite my lip to hold in a moan. We really should have expected it when the door opened, but it was apparent when we whipped our heads over and saw Alex standing there in shock, before finally snapping back and closing the door quickly. “Okay, five more minutes it is.” He yelled so that everyone could hear.

“Shit.” I said at the same time Pete said “Fuck.”

“We, uh, we should go back out there.” I said, not meeting his gaze.

“Yeah, probably, I really wish we didn’t have to though.” Pete replied as he removed his hand and set me down. I fixed my pants before trying to fix my shirt, looking up I saw Pete straightening his clothes as well.

“I think we could maybe do this again.” I said pulling him down for one more kiss before opening the door. I was nowhere near ready for the reactions that I knew we would get and was a little surprised when I opened the door to see Frank about to knock. He looked me over and smirked, I knew exactly what he was thinking.

“Finally, we can get back to the game now. Though I do think we were about to change games.” Frank said, the smirk not leaving his face. I looked away, heading to the kitchen immediately, I needed another beer. I heard someone walk into the kitchen and didn’t bother turning around.

“I’ll be out in a second, I just need a minute.” I said quietly.

“You wanna talk about it?” I heard Mikey say, feeling his arms wrap around me from behind.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” I said, looking down. “I just.”

“If you are about to say anything negative about yourself, don’t. Pete has been trying to get with you since he met you, and I know from personal experience just how charming he can be. Don’t beat yourself up over what happened with Frank either, just talk to Ryan, I’m sure he’ll understand.” Mikey said calmly.

“He will, we already talked, it’s fine. I just can’t get what Michael said out of my head.” I said quietly, not wanting to look at him as I said the words.

“That’s to be expected, he is, or well he was a big part of your life.” Mikey said, starting to trace small shapes with his fingers to calm me. “But he is wrong, would you call Frank a whore? Since he’s dating Gee but still fools around with other people.” I shook my head. “And I’m guessing the same goes for Gee?” I nodded, and he turned me around, so he could look in my eyes. “What about Ryan? Do you think he’s a whore?”

“No, of course not.” I answered quickly, I didn’t want him talking about Ryan like that.

“Really? Because before he got with you he fucked different guys all the time, and if you guys are having an open relationship I don’t see that changing.” Mikey said, trying to push my buttons.

“He’s not a fucking whore.” I said standing my ground and getting a little upset.

“Then neither are you.” He said calmly before kissing me softly, my anger immediately disappearing. “Let’s go back out there.” He said when we pulled apart and I nodded, letting him lead the way.

“Oh, I almost forgot. Ry, can you come over here?” I asked when we sat back down.

“Sure, what’s up?” he asked, already walking over.

“Mikey, can you take a picture of us? I told my friend I would send him one.” I said handing him my phone and pulling Ryan down next to me.

“Well if it’s for a friend of yours, I’ll definitely take a picture with you.” I heard Ryan say before pulling me in for a kiss. When we pulled apart we both turned towards Mikey to pose and I felt Ryan start to tickle my sides, making me laugh.

“Come on, be serious, please.” I said looking into his eyes. “I really want them to like you.”

“Okay, okay. Let’s do this then.” He said, and we turned to Mikey who was smiling and handed us the phone.

“I took the pictures already.” He said. We looked through them, there was a few during the kiss, a couple as I was laughing, and one where we were just looking at each other. I picked the ones I liked the most and sent them to a group chat with Liam and Zayn.

“Thank you, Mikey.” I said. I smiled when a few minutes later I felt my phone go off, signaling texts.

**From Li:** He’s no Zayn, but I guess he’ll do.

**From Zaynie:** Solid Liam.

**From Zaynie:** Better than Asshole.

I laughed and turned to see Ryan reading over my shoulder. “They like you so far.” I said with a smile.

“Do I even want to know?” Mikey asked, and I showed him the texts.

“Zayn is who called earlier. Liam is his boyfriend. And Asshole is Michael.” I explained, before turning to Ryan. “Trust me, it’s all compliments, they just like to tease.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to let me know what you think, it means a lot.


	20. Whataya Want From Me

** Ashton’s POV **

The rest of the week had passed by without incident and now I was sitting with everyone at our lunch table discussing what our plans would be for this weekend. “So, party tomorrow, since Jon’s birthday is Monday.” Spencer said. “We just need to figure out where.”

“My house is free, and it’s a decent size. I’ll just need help setting up.” I spoke up as everyone was trying to decide.

“Are you sure babe?” Ryan said turning to me.

“Yeah, my parents are never around anyway.” I said before thinking for a minute. “Though we probably should mention it to Luke, he does live next door.”

“Sounds good.” Ryan said leaning in to kiss me.

“Can we fucking help you?” I heard Pete ask rudely, choosing to ignore it I continued kissing Ryan.

“I need to talk to Ash.” A familiar voice spoke up.

“Well maybe he doesn’t want to talk to you.” Dallon said with an attitude. I finally decided to pull away from Ryan with a sigh, to see Pete and Dallon glaring at a nervous looking Calum.

“Down boys, I can fight my own battles.” I said making all three of them turn to me. “Plus, Calum didn’t do anything wrong. Did you wanna sit down for a little while, or?” I asked Calum who shook his head.

“No, I’m good. I was just hoping that you were free after school to work on our project.” Calum said, only looking at me.

“Yeah, I’m free.” I said, feeling Ryan tighten his grip on my hand. We didn’t have any plans, everyone probably just assumed we’d do what we always did and go to Mikey’s house.

“Babe?” I heard Ryan question quietly.

“Ry, school is important.” I said looking at him before turning back to Calum. “I’m free, we can work on that some more, maybe hang out for a little while.”

“Thanks Ash, I’ll see you later.” He said before walking back over to where he had been sitting with Luke and Michael and leaving us to continue our lunch in peace.

“I can’t believe you.” I heard a familiar voice say when I was getting my things for my last class from my locker later that day.

“And what can’t you believe now Michael? That I’m happy?” I said turning to face him, already done with his shit.

“You’re hooking up with Cal, _again_.” He said “Does your precious little boyfriend know? What about Luke?” The hallways were empty now, and I really just wanted to get to class.

“We aren’t hooking up Michael, we’re working on an assignment for class. We never hooked up in the first place, it was a kiss. Now if you don’t fucking mind.” I said trying to walk away, only to get stopped and slammed into the locker behind me.

“You’re not going anywhere. I’m sick of you thinking you’re fucking better than us now.” He said, getting in my face.

“I don’t fucking think I’m better than any of you.” I said trying to push him off me, only succeeding in pissing him off more.

“Of course you do, or you would actually attempt to spend time with us, instead of ignoring us all. Just to spend time on your knees for your new supposed friends.” He said grabbing my throat and leaning in closer. My thoughts flashed back to when Frank’s fingers were in the same position, and how different it felt now. “I bet you fucking like this too, don’t you?” he spat, tightening his grip to the point that I couldn’t breathe. When my vision started blurring I tried pulling his hand away.

“Please.” I tried saying, nothing coming out.

“You’re nothing but a fucking whore.” I saw his lips keep moving but couldn’t hear what he was saying after that. I pulled at his hand more, digging my nails in making him finally let go and I gasped in as much air as I could. “You fucking bitch.” He yelled getting ready to advance on my again. I didn’t even think before I pulled my arm back and punched him in the face, before grabbing my bag from where I had dropped it and running off in the opposite direction from my class.

I ran into the bathroom and sunk to the floor, leaning against the wall, and started crying. _Why was Michael being such an asshole to me? What did I do wrong? What have I ever done to him? I hurt too much right now, I need something to dull the pain._ All these thoughts were racing through my mind and I pulled my bag into my lap and started digging through it, pulling out a bottle of water and the box from the bottom. I knew I was safe, no one ever came to this bathroom.

I opened the pill bottle and swallowed a couple before putting it back in the box, letting them start taking effect as I started prepping the needle. I moved my sleeve out of the way before tying off my arm, when I was done I flicked the needle like I had been shown and injected my arm. I put everything back away and leaned my head back, closing my eyes, _maybe I did a little too much_. I hadn’t been sitting there long when I heard a voice above me. “Mr. Irwin? Would you like to explain why you’re in here instead of in class?” I opened my eyes only enough to see that it was Jack, before closing them again.

“Well, sir, that would be because I’m skipping.” I said simply, making him laugh. I was too high to care about anything right now.

“You think just because we’re friends, that I’ll just let you get away with cutting class?” he asked with a laugh, and I shrugged. “Come on, at least look at me while we talk.” I opened my eyes and looked up at him, though it took some time for me to focus on him. “Shit, how high are you?” he asked, realizing immediately and I shrugged.

“Not quite sure, but I’m about to get a bit higher. Now, you can either join me or not, it’s up to you.” I said opening the box back up. He walked over and locked the door before taking a seat directly in front of me as I cut out two lines. Once we had both done our line I put the things away.

“I could get fired for this.” He said watching me, “Not only letting a student cut class, but doing drugs with them too.”

“Not to mention fucking them.” I said, making him smirk.

“How about we go three for three?” he asked, tracing something on my neck. “Looks like you had a good night, as long as your throat isn’t too sore we could have some fun.”

“My throat is fine.” I said leaning forward and capturing his lips in a kiss.

“Then how about you get on your knees for me doll?” he asked when we had pulled apart. _If Michael thought I was a whore, why shouldn’t I prove him right?_ I thought and nodded. I watched as he stood up and started opening his pants, before remembering I would need to move as well. I kneeled in front of him, looking up into his eyes as he pulled his dick out. “Open that pretty little mouth doll.” He said.

I licked my lips and parted them, before leaning forward to lick the tip. “Come on doll, don’t tease me like that.” He said. I took him in my mouth and sucked softly, making him moan and grip my hair. I moaned slightly around him when I felt him pull my hair and his eyes snapped to mine. “You like that?” he asked pulling my hair harder and I moaned again and nodded slightly. “You want me to fuck your mouth?” he asked as he pulled me off.

“Yes sir.” I said. Without hesitation he shoved his dick in my mouth. I sucked as well as I could as he fucked my mouth.

“Fuck, I’m close, I want you to swallow.” He said before pushing my mouth down as far as he could, I did as he asked and swallowed when he came. “That was fucking amazing doll.” He said once he had fixed his pants. “We should definitely do that again some time, but class is almost over. We should get cleaned up, and out of here.” He said helping me up and over to the sink where I looked myself over in the mirror, _I looked like a hot mess_.

“Fuck.” Is all I could say as I looked at how messed up my hair looked and my swollen lips. “I can take care of myself, I’ll see you around Jack.” I said, realizing he was just standing there watching me. He nodded and left, and I splashed some water on my face. I was watching the water drip off my face when I noticed the bruising on my neck, there was a very obvious and very dark handprint, that I didn’t exactly know how to hide. I touched it softly and winced, now knowing exactly why Jack had thought my throat would be sore. Grabbing my bag from the floor, I dug through it, finally finding a bandana. _I never wore one around my neck but hopefully no one would realize_ , I thought as I tied it around, adjusting it to hide the bruises. The bell went off and I quickly fixed my hair before heading to the parking lot to meet the guys before I had to head home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to let me know what you think, it means a lot.


	21. Complicated

** Ashton’s POV **

“You could have at least given me a heads up if you were planning on skipping, we could have skipped together.” Ryan said with a little attitude, when I finally made it out there.

“Sorry, it was last minute.” I said, not meeting his eyes, instead choosing to see who all was already out here. It seemed I was the last one out here, which made sense since I had been on the opposite side of the school. “If it happens again, I’ll try to remember to let you know.” I added, trying to appease him.

“You’ll try to remember?” he asked, making me look at him. “Seriously? You’re seriously fucking high right now? You skipped class to get high?” he asked, and I ripped my face from his grip.

“Yes Ryan, and if you don’t mind, I plan to get even more fucked up now.” I snapped, grabbing the pill bottle and my water, and taking another pill.

“Ashton.” He said, exasperated, “I’ve told you I don’t mind you getting high, but how the hell are you supposed to get home now? You were supposed to go meet your friend, remember? What the hell is he gonna think when he sees you?”

“I can bring him home, I live that way anyway, and I’m sure Bren can take his bike.” I heard Pete say, and I nodded before digging out my keys and holding them out.

“Just make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.” Ryan said to Pete before leaning forward to kiss me. “I’m sorry babe, I shouldn’t have snapped, I just missed you in class.” I nodded.

“Don’t worry about us.” Pete said to Ryan before lifting me up and heading over to his car. “I’ll take real good care of him.” He added with a laugh, loud enough for them to hear, as he walked.

“So, care to tell me what’s with the bandana around your neck?” Pete asked once we were driving.

“Sometimes I like wearing them there.” I lied, staring out the window.

“You have never worn one around your neck, what are you hiding?” he teased, reaching over to pull it down a little and noticing some bruising. “You get a hickey while you were cutting class? Naughty, naughty.” he teased before untying the bandana and slamming on the brakes. “What the fuck?” he yelled, pulling over and parking the car to look at my neck. “What the fuck happened? Is this why you’re so fucked up right now?” I shrugged not really wanting to answer. He made me look at him before he started talking again. “Don’t pull that with me, there’s a fucking bruise in the shape of a hand around your neck. It was not there when I saw you at lunch, and you’re high off your ass. What the hell happened to you?”

“I got in a fight, okay?” I said, trying to pull away. I really didn’t want to get into it.

“It was that fucking asshole wasn’t it? I’ll fucking kill him. When we get to your house I’m calling the guys, and you’re gonna do something to cover that up that your friend won’t question.” He said as he started driving again, gripping the wheel so tightly that his fingers were turning white.

When we got to my house, I went straight to my room, slamming the door. _How the fuck was I supposed to cover my neck in a way that Calum wouldn’t question? I never covered my neck. That’s probably why Pete noticed._ I finally decided on a hoodie and retying the bandana around my throat, praying that Cal wouldn’t question it. I walked back down, hearing Pete still on the phone.

“Yes, of course I’m still here.” He said, pausing to let whoever else talk. “No, I’m not going to leave.” Pause. “Because, god fucking damn it, shut the fuck up for one minute. He’s got a fucking handprint across his throat, so either he’s into really rough fucking sex. God damn it I said shut the fuck up. Thank you. Now as I was trying to say, he said he got in a fight.” Pause. “My thoughts exactly.” Pause. “No, don’t tell the others yet, we’ll figure something out. I should probably go before he comes back down.” Pause. “Yeah, thanks Dal, talk to you later.” I waited a second before walking out to see him sitting on the couch. He turned to look me over when I walked in. “He’s gonna question that.” He said simply.

“Well there’s not really anything else I can do, I don’t have things that cover my throat.” I said, sitting next to him. “You can go now though, I’m fine, and he’ll be here soon. He’s actually probably over at Luke’s right now to be honest.”

“I’m not leaving, I’ll sit right here and hang out with you guys.” Pete answered stubbornly.

“Calum hasn’t done anything.” I said.

“Yet, I don’t trust them right now. Here, let me help you.” He said pulling the bandana off of my neck. “I’m getting proof of this first though.” He said before taking a few different pictures of my neck at different angles. “Here, lay back.” He said once he was done as he helped me get comfortable before climbing over me. “You’re fucking sexy, you know that?” he said before starting to suck on my neck. My hands immediately went to his hips, gripping the bottom of his hoodie. “There, that should do it.” He smirked as he got up, handing me his phone that was open to the front camera.

“What the fuck?” I asked. It’s true it didn’t look like I had been choked, now I looked like I lost a fight with a vampire, my throat was so bruised.

“Don’t worry, we’ll cover your neck back up. But this way if he questions it and makes you show him, it won’t look like someone tried to kill you.” He said taking the bandana and retying it around my neck, so that most of the bruises were hidden. I stared up at him as he was tying it, only snapping out of it when I heard the front door open.

“Who the hell’s car is outside?” Calum asked before he noticed Pete. “Oh, uh, hi. Sorry, I thought it was just gonna be Ash and I.”

“See, here’s the thing, plans change.” Pete said with an attitude.

“Pete, cut the attitude.” I said, I noticed the glint in his eye but didn’t have a chance to say anything before he spoke.

“That is daddy to you.” He said teasingly.

“Oh my god, no it is not.” I said shoving him and making him laugh. I turned to Calum who looked a little worried. “I swear Calum, it’s not. If anything, it’s asshole. Don’t even think about it Pete, I swear to fucking god.”

“Should I come back later?” Calum asked, his hand still on the door knob.

“No, don’t worry about him.” I said, patting the spot next to me. “Let’s do this.”

Working on the project had gone pretty well once Cal had gotten at least somewhat comfortable with Pete there. I could tell he had never gotten to the point where he actually was comfortable, but he was at least able to loosen up. Ryan and Brendon had decided to come help me set up, though Brendon was goofing off more than actually helping, but eventually we had managed to finish in time.

We were all sitting around the living room, playing never have I ever. Everyone else had drank more than I had so far during the course of the game, but I didn’t let it bother me, we were having fun. I got a bad feeling about the game when Alex decided to tease Ryan. “Never have I ever fooled around with someone at school.” Alex said, causing Dallon, Pete, Ryan, Brendon, Jack, Mikey, Frank, Gee, and I all take a drink.

“Yeah well never have I ever fucked my teacher.” Ryan retorted, making Alex blush and take a sip. I noticed Jack watching me and I shook my head briefly, we didn’t actually fuck. I wasn’t about to get involved in that, though I probably should have known better because next it was Jack’s turn.

“I’m starting to run out of things I haven’t done.” He said with a laugh. “I can think of one thing though.” He smirked, my eyes went wide, praying he wouldn’t say what I thought he would. “I’ve never given a blowjob to my teacher.” Alex cut him off.

“Wow, thanks Jack, you’re not supposed to encourage this.” Alex said getting ready to drink before Jack stopped him.

“Wasn’t finished yet, damn, don’t jump to conclusions. As I was saying, never have I ever given a blowjob to my teacher, at school.” Jack said with a smirk as I glared at him.

“First of all, fuck you.” I said and took a drink; all eyes were on me now. Saying they were shocked was an understatement, I hadn’t even told Ryan yet.

“When the hell did this happen?” Ryan asked me, sounding almost offended.

“I was high, well technically we both were.” I said taking another drink to avoid talking about it more.

“Damn Jack, even as a teacher you can’t stop getting high at school. You’re a fucking delinquent.” Gerard teased with a laugh.

“We’re all fucking delinquents here.” Jack replied with a laugh of his own. I felt my phone go off and looked to see a couple texts.

**From Lukey:** Drinks tomorrow?

**From Lukey:** We miss you

**To Lukey:** Sure, miss you too

“And those of us who aren’t are just fucking the delinquents, am I right?” Pete asked, getting a high five from Dallon.

“Shut the fuck up, you two are the biggest delinquents here.” Gee said, I noticed Frank lean over and whisper something in his ear, causing him to laugh.

“Babe, can we talk in the other room?” I heard Ryan ask from beside me, I looked over and nodded before leading him to the kitchen.

“What did you want to.” My question was cut off when he kissed me.

“Sorry, you look really good tonight babe.” He said watching me. “I did actually have a reason for asking you out here though. Why didn’t you tell me about Jack?”

“Sorry, it just happened yesterday.” I started, and he cut me off.

“Wait, yesterday? So, you cut class to get high and blow Jack? At least now I know why you didn’t want me there.” Ryan said, sounding annoyed.

“No, I cut class because I was dealing with some shit. So, I decided to get high and Jack found me.” I said not giving him a chance to cut me off this time. “I’m sorry that my first thought wasn’t to text you and ask if you wanted to skip with me.” I finished and stormed out to rejoin the others.

“Uh oh, trouble in paradise.” I heard Pete say.

“Shut it Wentz.” Ryan said, trying to wrap his arms around me. I pulled away and started walking towards the stairs to head up to my room.

“I need a few minutes alone, I’ll be back down in a little while.” I said, not waiting for a reply before heading up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to let me know what you think, it means a lot.


	22. It Ends Tonight

** Ashton’s POV **

I sat on my bed, staring at the floor; I knew I should have texted Ry, but that was the furthest thing from my mind at that point. _Why the hell was he overreacting like this? Maybe he wasn’t overreacting, what did I know? I’ve never had a boyfriend before him._ I was pulled out of my thoughts by a knock on my door.

“Please go away Mikey, I don’t wanna talk.” I said, assuming it was him, and not bothering to check.

“Well it’s a good thing I’m not Mikey then I guess.” Frank said, opening the door and walking over to me. “And I didn’t exactly have talking in mind when I came up here.” He said pushing me down, so I was laying on the bed before crawling over me and kissing me.

“Sorry about that doll, didn’t realize it would cause trouble.” I heard Jack say and pulled away from Frank, whipping my head over to see Jack leaning against the wall watching us.

“Shit, Jack. Frank stop.” I said going to push him off before he grabbed my wrists and pinned them above my head.’

“Ryan felt bad and sent us up, he said he knew you wouldn’t want to deal with him.” Frank said holding my wrists in one hand while using his other to trace along my jaw. “It’s up to you, what you want to do, but I know the two of us can make you feel loads better.” I didn’t want to think about anything, I just wanted to feel, so I nodded.

He started kissing my jaw, using his free hand to open my pants and slide his hand in. I moaned when he wrapped his fingers around my dick and felt Jack kiss me. I tried pulling my wrists free from where Frank held them, but he kept them still. “Be a good boy for me and keep those hands there.” He said loosening his grip, when I immediately started to move them he raised an eyebrow and tightened his grip again. “Jack hold his wrists, I need my other hand.”

Once Jack was holding them, Frank let go and made me look at him as he slowly jerked me off. “This is the second time you’ve decided to disobey me now. I let you off easy the first time, maybe I shouldn’t let you off at all this time.” He said stilling his movements, making me whine.

“No, please.” I said, I was so desperate right now. “I’m sorry.” He smirked and resumed his movements, taking his free hand and untying the bandana as he started to kiss my jaw again, moving down to my neck before pulling away a moment later with a smirk. “Someone got excited, didn’t they? Who was it?” I was so close and didn’t want to get into this right now.

“I, it was Pete.” I said, he technically was the one that had given me the hickies, so maybe that would be enough truth.

“Ah, ah, try again, he doesn’t like choking.” Frank said. I looked up at him confused, how had he known it was from choking, Pete had done a good job of hiding the handprint. Frank laid his hand over my throat. “I know what marks choking leaves, this looks like the first time I choked Gee. I squeezed harder than I realized, and he marks so easy. So who was it?” he asked, keeping me on edge.

“I, it, shit. Please, Frank. I’m so close.” I said with a moan. I could feel my nails digging into my hands from how tightly I was clenching my hands in fists.

“If I let you come, are you gonna tell me?” he teased, before licking a strip up my neck.

“Ah, fuck. Yes, please, anything.” I said. As soon as the words left my mouth he sped up his movements and gave a twist to his wrist that had me coming.

“Now spill.” He said as I was coming down.

“It’s nothing, I just got into a fight.” I said, making them both look at me.

“What do you mean, a fight?” Jack said, letting go of my wrists almost absentmindedly.

“Fights don’t usually end in choking.” Frank said, grabbing a couple tissues to clean his hand off.

“Well this one did, its fine, it’s over with.” I answered, starting to feel tense and wanting to get out of this conversation.

“It’s not fine, who was it?” Jack asked, sounding annoyed.

“No, one, just drop it.” I snapped.

“I don’t think so, answer the question. Who the fuck was it?” Frank ordered.

“Get out, please, just leave.” I said getting up, no longer able to stand being so close to the two of them, I was feeling way to anxious now.

“Not until you.” I cut Frank off before he could continue what he was about to say.

“I said get out, get the fuck out.” I raised my voice and started heading downstairs, once I made it down there I yelled. “Everyone get the fuck out of my house, the party’s over.” I ignored all of the confused and hurt looks, just going back up to my room and slamming my door, feeling thankful when I heard everyone leave. I settled in for a fitful night of sleep, at least there was a chance tomorrow would be better.

Even though I woke up at a reasonable hour, I still laid in bed for way too long. I was ignoring all of my problems and trying to not think about what would happen next. When I finally did pull myself out of bed it was to get high before finally checking my phone. I had multiple texts from Mikey and Ryan, but the one that stuck out was from Pete.

**From Pete:** Is this about asshole? I’m here if you need to talk.

**To Pete:** I’d rather not, thanks.

I really just wanted to forget it all happened, but now Ryan was even more pissed at me for kicking everyone out. Honestly, I just wanted to bury everything and act like none of it happened, even though it did. I decided to send a message to Ryan.

**To Ry <3: **I’m going out with Luke tonight, I’ll see you tomorrow.

That started a whole new argument, he wanted me to go spend time with them instead. I tried explaining that I hadn’t had any real time to hang out with Luke since we had started dating but he still wasn’t happy about it. I spent the rest of the day getting ready and picking up the mess from the party while texting Ryan and trying to keep our argument from going into an all-out fight.

I had just taken a couple pills and was in the process of texting Ryan when Luke walked in, Ryan was still pissed and trying to convince me to go over there but I wasn’t having it. _Okay, maybe he was still a little upset about Friday, and probably yesterday too, but still._ I looked up and smiled at Luke, sliding my phone into my pocket as I stood up.

“Ready to go Ash?” he asked, before quickly adding. “Mikey and Cal are in the car already.”

“Seriously?” I asked, stopping walking to give him a betrayed look. “ _He_ ’s seriously coming with us? I thought it was just gonna be us two, or even Cal.”

“He promises to play nice, he feels bad for calling you a whore. He just wants to make things right.” He said, pleading and giving me his best puppy dog eyes.

“Whatever.” I said rolling my eyes and walking out. _Of course Michael didn’t tell him about the fight at school, why would he? Fucking asshole._ When we got to the club, I headed straight for the bar. Taking out my fake id I showed it to the bartender and ordered four shots and a couple beers, if I had to deal with Michael I planned on being drunk. I knew Ryan wouldn’t be happy that I was now ignoring my phone, but I could explain later. I was pissed at Ryan and I was pissed that Michael was here.

I woke up slowly to an alarm blaring and an arm laid over me possessively the next morning. I couldn’t help the small smile, Ryan and I must have made up last night, hopefully he wouldn’t be too upset that I couldn’t remember anything. “Hey, Ry. Baby, it’s time to wake up.” I said, turning over only to start freaking out. That hair is blond, not brown. _Who the hell did I know that had blond hair?_ Before I had more of a chance to freak out about hooking up with a stranger, I heard a voice that I most certainly recognized.

“Why the fuck are you bringing him up?” Michael asked, sounding annoyed. _Why the hell was I waking up naked, next to Michael Clifford?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to let me know what you think, it means a lot.


	23. The Take Over

** Michael’s POV **

_*Sunday Night*_

I promised Luke that I would do my best to make up with Ashton tonight, not that he was making it particularly easy, between ignoring me and pounding down drinks. I watched him stagger back from the bathroom and decided to intervene, since Luke and Calum were both nowhere to be found. “Ashton, I think you’ve had enough.” I said.

“I know my own limits Mikey.” He replied, slurring his words and giggling a little, grabbing my arms to steady himself. He could barely focus on anything, he was so wasted. It had been so long since I had heard him call me Mikey let alone sound happy around me, that I had to smile.

“Come on, let’s get you home.” I said, trying to lead him towards the exit.

“No, I’m having at least one more drink.” He answered. Looking over him and thinking to how he was already acting towards me, I decided I could let him have one more drink, or three. As I helped him home I knew there was likely a chance that he wouldn’t remember much of what happened tonight, but I would, I would remember everything. If he wanted to act like a whore, I’d treat him like one.

** Ashton’s POV  **

_*Monday Morning*_

I jumped out of bed, pulling on a pair of sweats I had left at the foot of the bed and thanking whatever god there was that I didn’t get hangovers. “What the fuck are you doing here Michael?” I spat, angrily.

“Is that any way for you to talk to one of your closest friends?” Michael asked, pulling on his own pants from yesterday.

“Closest friends? We’ve barely talked since you called me a whore, and we haven’t talked since you tried to kill me in school.” I said raising my voice and pointing to my neck. He looked angry as he walked towards me, I started getting nervous and backed up, hitting the wall. He didn’t stop advancing until he was standing right in front of me, when he did he slapped me and grabbed my jaw roughly, making me look at him.

“We sure seemed like more than close friends last night, when you were begging for me to fuck you, like a whore.” He said angrily as he looked me over. “Text your boyfriend, tell him you guys are through, then get your ass dressed so we can go to school. I don’t want you talking to any of the others either.”

“No, I’m not going to break up with him just because I got too drunk and we fucked. I’ll talk to him and we’ll work past this.” I said, pulling myself from his grip and moving past him to my closet.

“What the fuck did you just say to me?” he said angrily. The next thing I knew, I was on the floor as he stood above me kicking me in the stomach. “Do what I fucking say. One more fucking wrong move and you won’t like it. Maybe I’ll even decide to tell him for you, or maybe I’ll just beat the shit out of him next.” He said reaching for my phone.

“No, please I will, please just give me my phone.” I said weakly as I pulled myself up, so I was sitting on the floor. He smirked and tossed the phone to me.

“That’s what I thought. Be ready to go in ten.” He said, leaving me alone in my room. I pulled up the text history with Ryan, trying not to cry as I typed out the message.

**To Ry <3: **I don’t think it’s working out. I think it’s best if we don’t talk anymore, I’m sorry.

I set my phone down and went to my closet, choosing clothes that would cover the bruises that we already starting to form and a bandana to tie around my neck. When I was finished getting dressed I looked at my phone to see I had a couple new texts.

**From Ry <3: **What do you mean? We can get through this.

**From Ry <3: **Please meet me before school, we need to talk.

Michael had made it clear that he didn’t want me having anything to do with them, and definitely no talking to Ryan. I felt a tear slip down my cheek as I typed out my next message.

**To Ry <3: **I don’t think that’s a good idea.

I turned off my phone, knowing that if he kept it up I would break, and Michael would be pissed. When I got downstairs Michael was waiting for me, he immediately slammed me into the wall and gripped my upper arms tightly. “You better not fucking tell anyone about this, got it. You’re mine now, and I’ll do whatever the fuck I want to you.” He threatened, pausing for a second before continuing. “Give me your phone. Don’t need you getting any smart ideas.” When I didn’t immediately move to get it out he started talking again. “Fine I’ll get it myself.” I didn’t even give him a chance to move before I was quickly handing it over, looking down. “That’s what I fucking thought. Now let’s go, get in the car.” He said pulling me over to his jeep.

I made it through most of the morning without incident, choosing to skip Music so I didn’t have to deal with the questions that I knew would come. I walked with my head down and usually Michael gripping my arm or waist hard enough to add more bruises. I was anxious for lunch, I knew that there was a high chance that someone would say something now that we weren’t in class.

Michael had his tight grip on my waist as we walked in to the cafeteria, and I knew one of them had noticed when I heard a little commotion from my now usual table. Instead of looking over, I just followed Michael over to his table and sat next to him. After a little while I realized he was lost in his conversation and calmed down a little. I couldn’t help but chance a look over at my usual table, to see Mikey and Ryan both staring at me and looking hurt, I immediately turned away. A few minutes later I felt Michael squeeze my leg hard, when I looked up to see why, I saw Ryan standing in front of me.

“Leave, now.” Michael said, angry and glaring him down.

“No, I came to talk to _my_ boyfriend, so you can fuck off.” Ryan said, and if Michael’s grip was anything to go by I knew that I would regret how Ryan spoke to him. “Babe, come on, come sit with us. We can talk and put this behind us.”

“I don’t fucking think so, he broke up with you, he’s mine now.” Michael said, I just kept my head down, not wanting to be part of this.

“We had a disagreement asshole, we didn’t break up, and even if we did why would he choose you?” Ryan said to Michael.

“Well why would some little whore like you? You think I don’t know your reputation?” Michael said. I could feel Ryan stare at me and Michael’s grip tighten. “What do you think Ash?” Michael asked me in a tone that sounded fake.

“I, I think you should go Ryan.” I said quietly, refusing to look up as I heard him walk away. Michael leaned over to whisper “Good boy.” In my ear and I felt sick. Luckily, I didn’t have to talk to Dallon or Mikey in science because we had a test, so I didn’t know why exactly Michael pulled me aside after class.

“You’re skipping your next couple classes.” He said once we were alone.

“Why?” I asked, worried about why he didn’t want me going.

“I need you to go to Frank’s, he already knows you’re coming. Be back by the time school ends, don’t need you to run into any of the others.” Michael said before handing me money and his keys. I was about halfway to the house when I realized he still had my phone. When I got there, I knocked on the door and heard Frank yell “Come in.” When I walked in he was sitting on the couch, organizing his drugs and money on the table.

“So, it is true. Can’t believe you’re with him now. Well sit, I’ll finish up and then we can get his shit figured out.” Frank said looking me over before motioning to the spot next to him. I sat down and stared at my hands, Frank had this ability to make me feel on edge and calm at the same time, I really hoped Michael wouldn’t take this away too. “Do you want a little something before we get down to business?” he asked, offering a prepped needle and I nodded. Once we were both high I stared at him as he put together Michael’s bag.

“Thanks Frank.” I said, leaning my head on him, feeling much better now than I had earlier.

“Don’t mention it.” He said with a smile. Once he was finished he pulled me in for a kiss, I kissed back before remembering why that would be a bad idea and pulled away.

“I don’t think Michael would like this very much.” I said, biting my lip.

“Then we won’t tell him, how about that?” Frank said, and I decided fuck it and leant back in, connecting our lips. When we finally decided to pull apart I pulled out the money from Michael and handed it to him, he counted it quickly and stuck it in his pocket. “What about you? Do you need to re-up?” I nodded, I didn’t know when I’d be able to make it back here.

“I probably should, don’t know when I’ll be over again.” I thought about it for a minute and decided I’d better be safe than sorry too. “What do you have for pain pills?” For a second it looked like he was going to question it but instead held up a bottle of pills.

“I’ve got Oxy’s, wanna add that?” he asked, and I was thankful he didn’t ask why I wanted them.

“Yeah, how much extra is it?” I asked grabbing my wallet.

“How about I give you the same deal I give Gee sometimes, you blow me and they’re yours.” He said watching me. I thought it over for a second. Michael would be pissed, but I was high and wanted the attention that I knew Frank would give me, plus the pills would help later on. I nodded.

“Yeah, okay.” I said, taking out the three hundred and handing it to him. Once again, he didn’t bother counting it, instead just putting it in his pocket before pulling me into his lap so I was straddling him and connecting our lips once again. “We just have to be quick because I have to be back by the time school ends.” I said when we pulled apart.

“You should get to work then.” He said with a smirk. I started kissing his neck as I trailed my fingers down his chest, opening his pants when I reached them. I felt him grab my ass as I started jerking him off. Eventually he had had enough as he pulled my head back by my hair. “Enough, get down on your knees now.” He ordered, I nodded before getting down from his lap and kneeling between his legs. I didn’t look up at him as I sucked him off and let him control my movements for the most part. When I knew he was close, I nodded slightly to let him know it was okay to finish in my mouth, when he did I swallowed before pulling off.

I stayed where I was kneeling as I fixed my hair and Frank fixed his pants before he leaned forward to kiss me again. “Thanks.” He said with a wink.

“This didn’t happen, okay?” I said as I got up, if Michael found out he would kill me.

“Sure thing, and it can not happen again any time you want.” He said with a smirk as he handed me everything. I took an oxy before putting my things in my box and putting the box and Michael’s weed in my bag.

“Thank you, Frank, I’ll see you around.” I said on my way out. If I rushed I could still make it on time. I managed to make it back and parked where he had been parked, deciding to just wait in the jeep. I got lost in my own thoughts and didn’t realize anyone was walking over until someone was pounding on the window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to let me know what you think, it means a lot.


	24. Broken

** Ashton’s POV **

I jumped and looked over to see Mikey pounding on the window and Ryan right behind him. My eyes went wide, and I immediately looked away, scanning the rest of the parking lot. “Open the window Ash.” Mikey said, loud enough for me to hear and I shook my head, refusing to look at them. “Open the fucking window.” I shook my head again.

“Please just talk to us.” I heard Ryan say, sounding hurt. I looked towards the school and saw Michael walking out and I finally turned to Mikey and Ryan.

“Please just leave.” I said pleadingly. I knew Michael was going to be pissed, seeing them over here and was just thankful that the way I was parked, they were hidden from view. They refused to give up though.

“Not until you talk to us.” Mikey said, and I looked back over to see Michael was a lot closer and looked pissed, he had noticed them. He wasn’t paying me any attention, he was looking straight at them and I knew this could only end badly. I got out before he reached them and stood in front of them and facing Michael, who had now turned his pissed off look to me.

“What the fuck are _they_ doing here?” Michael demanded.

“They were just leaving, I’m sorry.” I said, hoping that if I apologized he wouldn’t be as pissed.

“Actually we weren’t.” Mikey said, and _why couldn’t he keep his mouth shut?_

“I think I at least deserve some kind of explanation.” Ryan spoke up. I knew he did but I couldn’t bring myself to give him one.

“You don’t deserve shit.” Michael said, glaring at Ryan. “The only explanation you need is that he came to his senses and upgraded.”

“Fuck you.” I cut off Ryan before he could continue.

“Ryan, Mikey, please just fucking leave.” I said, I knew the look in Michael’s eye already, if they didn’t leave now he would make it a lot worse.

“Get in the car, now.” Michael said, glaring at Ryan, and I knew I was going to regret it, but I couldn’t let him do anything to Ryan.

“No.” I said simply, making him turn his glare to me. “Just leave them alone, I’ll get in the car when you do. And these two are going to leave, now.” I heard Mikey sigh behind me before I finally heard footsteps walking away. “Please Michael, get in the car.” I pleaded, finally he got in and I got in on the other side, flinching when he locked the doors. We drove to my house in silence and he dragged me inside.

“What the hell was that? I told you not to fucking talk to them, didn’t I?” he said as he shoved me in to the living room.

“I wasn’t talking to them I swear, they came over and wanted to talk, but I told them to leave.” I said, backing up until I hit against the back of the couch. He grabbed me by my hair and forced me to look at him.

“One more wrong move and I’ll send them the video.” He threatened.

“Video? What video?” I asked, now scared, especially when I saw the smirk.

“Just a video I took last night. You’re acting like the perfect little whore in it, and I’m sure your ex and your friend would just love to see it. I mean you even call me Mikey in it, I’m sure that little druggie friend of yours would really enjoy that. You moaning out the same name you call him.” Michael taunted.

“Please stop, please. I’m sorry. Please don’t send it to them.” I was starting to cry now, and I really just wanted everything to stop.

“Then go to your fucking room and get on the bed.” He said shoving me towards the stairs. I hadn’t expected the sudden movement and wasn’t able to catch myself before I was falling. I heard the sound of something breaking before I felt a sharp pain shoot up my arm and screamed. I rolled over onto my back, holding my arm in pain.

“I need to go to the hospital.” I finally managed to say through the pain.

“I doubt that, just fucking get up.” Michael said, pulling me up and roughly grabbing my arm only to make me scream in pain once more. “Look, you fucking broke your arm. I guess we do have to go.” He said letting my arm go and starting to walk out to the car.

“Are you kidding me, you fucking broke my arm.” I screamed at him. I didn’t even flinch as he spun around, slapping me across the face.

“It was your fucking fault, now let’s go.” He said, walking out. When we got to the hospital he pulled up in front of the door and shoved my phone at me. “Don’t get any smart fucking ideas, text or call me when you’re ready to leave.” I pocketed my phone and got out.

“Fuck you Michael.” I said as I slammed the door. I hated him right now, but I thought he would have at least come in with me. I walked over to the front desk and signed in before taking a seat and powering up my phone. I quickly dismissed all of the message notifications, knowing that it would only upset me and lead to trouble. Then I opened a new message to Frank.

**To Frank:** Might need more pills soon.

I kept it simple, I didn’t want to get into a whole big thing right now. I looked down when I felt my phone go off, once I read it I deleted the message thread, so Michael wouldn’t see it.

**From Frank:** Just let me know, we can do the same deal ;)

A few minutes later as I was scrolling through my phone I heard someone sit across from me and clear their throat. I decided to ignore them in favor of adjusting my arm, so it was more comfortable. “I bet I can make you forget all about the pain in that arm.” I heard them say, I know knew it was a guy, but I still didn’t look up at them. They seemed like they were purposely trying to deepen their voice, especially when they laughed.

“I have a boyfriend.” I answered flatly, not looking up from my phone.

“So do I, but I don’t see either of them here.” He replied, and that was it. I looked up, ready to bitch this guy out when I took in the familiar red hair sitting across from me.

“Gee?” I asked, making him laugh again.

“Yep, now come on, that looks like it hurts. I have something that’ll help.” He said holding his hand out to me to help me up, then leading me to a store room. When we were both in, he locked the door and took out a bottle of pills, handing me a couple.

“Thanks.” I said taking one and pocketing the other. “What brings you here?”

“Here, in particular? You. The hospital? Patrick, he works here sometimes after school, I’m waiting for his shift to be over.” He said, before looking down at my arm. “So what happened there?”

“Nothing, I just fell.” I answered, looking at my arm instead of looking at him.

“Nothing? Or you fell?” he asked with an edge to his voice.

“I fell, I wasn’t watching where I was going. I should probably go back out now.” I said pulling open the door, before I felt a hand on my shoulder, stopping me.

“You know where we are if you need us.” He said, before letting me go back out to the waiting room. I looked up when he sat back down across from me and offered a small, if fake smile before looking back down. “Ah, right on time.” He said, and I looked up to see him motioning to someone. When I looked over I saw Mikey and Ryan rushing over and I immediately looked to Gerard, feeling betrayed.

“Why?” I asked before they made it over, and even I could hear the broken tone of my voice.

“Because they care about you, they worry, and they would kill me if I didn’t tell them.” He answered before turning to them, who were almost to us. “Hey guys.”

“Babe are you alright?” Ryan asked, ignoring Gee and sitting next to me. “Do you need ice or something? Mikey go get ice.” He said not giving me any chance to answer, Mikey did as he asked as he reached for my arm. “Can I see? I promise I’ll try not to hurt you any worse.”

“It’s okay Ry, Gee already gave me something for pain.” I said. Mikey came back with the ice and held it for me as I gave Ryan my arm to look at. “Just be careful, I still haven’t had a chance to get it checked out yet.” Ryan nodded and very gently looked my arm over before taking the ice from Mikey and laying it over my arm. I knew Michael would be pissed, but honestly, I just really needed this comfort right now. I laid my head on his shoulder and felt Mikey on my other side, slowly rubbing my back.

“Thanks for letting us know Gee.” Mikey said, sounding genuine.

“Hey, Ry?” I said after a few minutes.

“Yeah?” he asked, and I felt his head move, probably to look at me.

“I just was thinking, I’m not going to be able to ride while my arm is broke.” I started, pausing to figure out how to word the rest of what I wanted to say.

“I know babe, I can give you a ride to school or wherever while you need it.” He answered, petting my hair.

“No, it’s not that. I was just thinking maybe Bren could borrow it while I couldn’t use it.” I said. I didn’t think Michael would do anything to it, but I didn’t really want to chance it.

“If you’re sure, I’m sure he’d love to.” He answered. I smiled a little and nodded before pulling out the key and handing it to him.

“He’ll need to come pick it up, but it’s right in my driveway.” I said, he leaned down, kissing me softly. I kissed him back for a second before everything came back and I gently pushed him away. “Ry, we can’t, I’m dating Michael now.” I said, not looking at him. I felt him and Mikey both go stiff, and realized I shouldn’t have said anything, but these pills were making me feel like it was okay.

“Babe, how many pills did you take?” Ryan asked slowly.

“He only took one.” Gee said at the same time as I said “Two.”

“When did you take a second one Angel?” Mikey asked calmly.

“Earlier, had to see Frank for Michael.” I said, feeling relaxed by Ryan’s smell and the feeling the pills were giving me.

“Why did Frank give you pain pills babe?” Ryan asked.

“I blew him, Michael would be so mad if he knew.” I said. “He would be really mad if he knew I was talking to you.”

“He meant, why did you want pain pills earlier.” Mikey said.

“Did he hurt you?” Gerard asked suddenly, and I giggled.

“No, Frank is really nice, he only hurts in good ways.” I said, and Gerard walked over and made me look at him, and I realized it was hard to focus on him. “Your eyes are really pretty Gee.”

“Ashton, focus, did Michael hurt you? Is that why you wanted pain pills earlier?” Gerard asked, I got lost in his eyes and leaned forward pressing my lips to his.

“Your lips are really soft too.” I said, smiling.

“God damn it, Ashton, focus.” Gee snapped. “Did Michael hurt you? Did he do this to you?” it finally clicked what he had said, and I pulled back, feeling my hand start shaking.

“I didn’t say that, where did you hear that?” I asked, getting nervous now. Before I had any more chance to react Gerard pulled me into a hug.

“It’s okay, you didn’t say anything, it’s okay.” He said rubbing my back. “Mikey, call Frank for me please, tell him I need him to get here immediately.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to let me know what you think, it means a lot.


	25. Warning

** Ashton’s POV **

Frank had shown up a little while ago and Gerard had told him he’d explain why I was currently crying into his shoulder when I was called in. He was making me feel safe, and I was thankful he hadn’t let me go immediately. When I was finally called in I pulled away, even though it was the last thing I wanted to do, so that I could talk. “Thank you guys for being here. Um, I guess I’ll see you all later.”

“You really think we’d let you go in alone?” Ryan asked. He and Mikey both got up to follow me in, Frank and Gerard stayed in the waiting room so that they could talk. The x-ray had shown that it was a clean break and they gave me a cast, Ryan had all but demanded he got to pick out the color, so I had let him. He had picked out a tie-dye design, saying it would remind me of him every time I looked at it because it was something I would never have chosen myself. When I was finished being discharged I texted Michael, then pulled Ryan aside.

“Thank you for being here for me.” I said softly as I brushed his hair behind his ear and kissed him. “I, uh, I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“I’ll always be here for you babe.” He said, I looked out the doors and noticed Michael pulling in.

“I have to go.” I said starting towards the door. I saw Ryan start to follow me out and I shook my head. “Please don’t, you’ll only make it worse.” I saw hesitation in his eyes before he eventually nodded and walked over to the others, though not taking his eyes off me.

“That looks really fucking gay.” Were the first words out of Michael’s mouth when I got in his car.

“Maybe that would be because I am really fucking gay.” I said, looking back out the window at the hospital. Michael grabbed my jaw making me face him.

“Cut the fucking attitude.” He said looking pissed, before something behind me caught his attention. He looked for a second before turning back to me. “Should have fucking known, give me your fucking phone. How much did you say to them?” he surprised me by letting go of me as he spoke.

“What are you talking about?” I said, rushing to pull my phone out and hand it to him. “I didn’t tell anyone anything.” He suddenly changed from looking pissed to smiling as he looked past me and waved.

“Keep your fucking mouth shut, got it?” he said. I turned around to see why he was acting this way and saw Frank and Gerard walking over; Mikey, Ryan, and Patrick were standing by the door. My eyes went wide, and I looked down, trying to avoid what I knew was about to happen.

“Hey Frank.” Michael said, completely ignoring Gerard, and I knew that would piss them both off. “What are you doing here?”

“Hey Michael, hey Ash. We’re just picking up a friend of ours. What happened to your arm Ash?” Frank asked. He already knew but was trying to make it seem like we hadn’t seen each other at all.

“Hey Frank, hey Gerard.” I said quietly, not looking up. I didn’t want to be rude, but I certainly did not want to piss off Michael.

“Oh, he fell.” Michael started before Frank cut him off.

“Ashton can answer for himself Michael, he’s a big boy. Ashton, what happened to your arm?” Frank said, leaving no room for argument, and I could feel all three of them watching me.

“Like he said, I fell, it broke.” I chanced a glance at Michael, knowing my next words could piss him off. “Uh, say hi to Mikey for me.” I said turning towards them, biting my lip.

“Nonsense, they’re right here.” Gee said with a smirk before turning around and yelling, he really enjoyed pissing off Michael. “Hey guys, come over here for a minute.” I felt Michael lean forward until his mouth was at my ear.

“I still have that fucking video.” He whispered, and I tensed up.

“Wait till I tell Pete that I got to see you and he didn’t, he’s gonna be so jealous.” Patrick said with a giggle when he saw me before leaning in to hug me. Patrick and Pete didn’t look like they would ever be friends, but somehow it worked.

“What? You’re friends with a fuckboy now too?” Michael asked me, an edge to his voice.

“Don’t call Pete that.” Patrick said, getting defensive.

“Why? Are you his personal.” Michael started before Ryan cut him off.

“Don’t even think of finishing that question.” Ryan snapped, nobody insulted Patrick.

“And why should I listen to the school slut of all people?” Michael sneered, and I flinched. “Though you do have a pretty face and a nice ass, so I guess I can see why. You know what?” he said grabbing a napkin out of his glove box and writing something on it before folding it and reaching past me to hand it to Ryan. “I think I’m one of the few people who hasn’t slept with you; what me, Ash, Luke, and Cal? Maybe a few others. Call me if you ever want a threesome.”

“Michael.” I snapped, I couldn’t believe he had just propositioned the guy he had made me break up with.

“Actually you’re not quite right there.” I heard Ryan say, sounding way to sweet. “Your numbers are way off. I actually haven’t fucked most of the school, but I did fuck Ash here.” He turned his tone flirty as he traced my jaw with his finger. “And it is definitely something I’d like to do again.” I could feel my face getting red.

“You know, I have something that I really think you’d enjoy.” Michael said, and I pulled away from Ryan’s hand to turn to Michael.

“Michael.” I said, letting my eyes do the begging that I knew I couldn’t speak right now. He smirked and kissed me hard, before turning back to the others.

“Maybe next time, we should get back, Luke and Cal are waiting for us.” Michael said. Frank who had been staying silent, just observing everything, finally spoke.

“Actually speaking of Luke and Calum, I need you to pass along a message for me.” Frank started, and Michael nodded. “From now on, as far as you guys are concerned, I’m only doing business with Ashton.” I snapped my head up to look at him and caught the smirk on Gee’s face.

“What the hell? Are you fucking serious? He doesn’t even smoke.” Michael said, obviously annoyed.

“Yeah, but he also doesn’t insult my boyfriend when he walks in my house.” Frank said, daring Michael to say something before continuing. “That’s my decision, you either send Ash or you find someone else.”

“Why?” Michael said, getting more annoyed.

“I have my reasons, take it or leave it.” Frank said, daring him to argue.

“Fine, we’ll send Ash. Luke isn’t going to be very happy about it though.” Michael said, thinking he had a decent excuse to not send me.

“Luke is a big boy, he can suck it up if he wants good weed.” Frank replied. Once Michael had turned away I mouthed a quick thank you to Frank, who nodded.

“Well like I said, we should really get going.” Michael finally said, realizing he didn’t have anything else he could say.

“Ooooh, wait a second.” Ryan said, and I knew that tone. That was his playful, flirty tone. “Can I see your arm really quickly?” he asked me, I nodded confused and held it out the window for him. He held it and pulled a sharpie out of his pocket, drawing a heart and signing his name. “Thanks, I wanted to be the first person to sign it.” And now I knew what he was playing at and it almost made me laugh, he had wanted to sign it immediately and I had told him no because I didn't want Michael knowing he had been there. “You can go now.” He said, letting go of my arm.

“You fucked the school slut?” Michael asked when we pulled in my driveway.

“He’s not a fucking slut Michael.” I snapped. “And what the hell does it matter to you anyway? According to you, I’m a whore, so why wouldn’t we have? And we were dating.” I said as I walked towards the door, wanting nothing more than to slam it in his face, but he was right next to me. “And furthermore, you just fucking hit on him too. You told the guy that you made me break up with that we should have a fucking threesome.” I added once we were inside.

“Yeah, and the slut fucking agreed, didn’t he?” he said slamming me against the wall. “Who else did your whore ass fuck?” I smirked, I knew I would regret the words, but right now I didn’t care.

“Well Michael, other than you, I had a threesome with Ryan and Brendon. Or are you talking about blowjobs too? Or fooling around? Because honestly the list is going to be quite a bit longer.” I sneered. I heard the slap before I felt it. “Get the fuck out of my house Michael.” I said, glaring at him and pushing him off. As soon as he walked out I locked the door and went to my room, crashing on the bed.

I had managed to avoid Michael leading up to lunch, I had gotten a ride from Luke to get here, and just made it a point not to be around Michael. I could tell he was pissed off when I looked across the cafeteria and saw the look he was sending me, but I needed to make a point. So instead of walking over and sitting next to him, I walked over and sat on Mikey’s lap, before looking right at Michael and flipping him off. The reaction I received was not the one I expected though, instead of looking pissed he just smirked. I turned away from him to look at everyone else.

“What happened to your arm?” Alex asked.

“Oh, uh, I fell and broke it yesterday, it’s nothing.” I answered, feeling Mikey’s phone go off.

“Mikey, your phone.” I said before Ryan spoke up.

“Babe, why are you texting me? You could have just said whatever it was.” Ryan said laughing and getting ready to open the text. My eyes went wide as I realized what had happened and grabbed his phone.

“Don’t open that.” I said loudly, once I realized everyone at the table’s phones had gotten the same thing I added. “None of you open that, just delete it, please.” I turned a glare to Michael who was holding up my phone with a smirk. “That fucking asshole.” I started to get up and Mikey’s phone started ringing, causing me to pause before going over.

“Gee? Why are you calling me? Is everything alright?” Mikey said before pausing. “No, why the hell would you think that?” Pause. “Yeah, no, that wasn’t me.” Pause. “Yeah, I don’t know. I think I got the same one too.” I could feel my anger rising as I stopped paying attention, that asshole had sent it to Gee too. I stood up and was about halfway to Michael’s table when I heard it.

“Mr. Irwin, come with me.” When I turned to see who had spoken I saw Jack standing in the doorway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to let me know what you think, it means a lot.


	26. Savior

** Ashton’s POV **

I sent one more dirty look to Michael before grabbing my bag and following Jack to his empty office where he locked the door behind us. “Care to explain this?” he asked handing me his phone, open to the group chat. The last message being a video sent from my phone. When I didn’t immediately answer he continued. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s a hot video, you and Mikey look hot together. But as a teacher, I should not be receiving this type of message while I am at work. I could be fired if this got out.”

“It wasn’t me. I mean it was, I wasn’t the one who sent it. And it wasn’t Mikey in the video.” I rushed the words out, keeping my head down.

“Who sent it then? And why did you call the person Mikey?” he asked, leaning against his desk.

“The answer to both of those questions is Michael Clifford.” I answered, knowing it would only bring more questions.

“Why does Mr. Clifford have your phone?” Jack asked.

“Look, it’s kind of a long story. We’re dating I guess, and he wanted my phone. We’re arguing right now, that’s why he sent it. I didn’t realize he was going to send it to everyone.” I rambled.

“What do you mean you guess that you’re dating? You either are or you aren’t. And last I knew you were dating Ryan, what happened to that?” he asked, sounding confused. I felt my hands start shaking and I started going through my bag.

“I, I’m sorry, I need to take a pain pill.” I said, trying to keep the anxiety from my voice.

“It’s alright doll, take your time.” He said calmly. I pulled the box out and after messing up a couple times I finally got the combination correct. “Here’s some water.” He said handing me a bottle from his desk. I thought it over for only a second before deciding to take two of them and closing the box. “You’re supposed to be going to Science with Mikey and Dal right now, correct?” I nodded, starting to tear up already. “Okay, let me just call your teacher, I’ll be right back.” I nodded again before he stepped out of his office to make the call. A few minutes later he came back in to see tears running down my face. “Oh doll, come here.” He said holding his arms out for me, I immediately got up and went to him, letting him wrap his arms around me and start rubbing my back. “Shh, shh, it’s okay.”

A few minutes later we heard a knock on his door. I tried pulling away so whoever it was didn’t walk in to see a student crying into a teacher’s shoulder, but he kept me where I was. “It’s okay doll.” He said quietly before raising his voice so the person on the other side of the door could hear him. “It’s open.” I heard the door open and close before Jack spoke up again. “Lock the door.”

“Oh my god.” I heard Mikey say before he rushed over to take me from Jack. He sat down on the couch that was off to the side and pulled me into his lap, holding me as I cried.

“I’ve called your teacher, you’re both excused from this class. If need be, I can excuse you from the next one as well.” Jack said, taking the seat next to us.

“Thank you.” Mikey said. I nodded, not trusting my voice. “You wanna talk to us now angel?” Mikey asked a while later, once I had calmed down quite a bit.

“I just, I don’t know what I did. I didn’t do anything wrong, and now he hates me. Why does he hate me?” I knew I was rambling, but I couldn’t keep my thoughts organized.

“You didn’t do anything wrong angel, it’s all him. I want to tell you a little bit of a story, well it’s not really a story, but just listen.” Mikey started. Jack excused himself to call our next teacher as Mikey continued. “A few years ago, back when Gee was in high school. He and Frank weren’t dating, this was before Frank moved here actually. Gee was dating this guy, I think his name was Ronnie, he seemed really sweet. He was always buying things for Gee, bringing him out on dates.” Jack snuck back in, sitting back down next to us. He nodded, apparently familiar with this story already. “But Gerard started closing himself off from other people; friends, family, everyone. He started really only talking to his boyfriend, once in a while we’d see him chatting with his boyfriend’s friends, but hardly with us anymore. Fast forward a little while and Frank had moved to town, started selling drugs. Well Gee and his boyfriend start going to Frank’s to get high, and Gee starts getting really friendly with Frank. Like, just friendly, not _friendly_. Not long after that Gee comes home with bruises across half of his face, but no boyfriend, the boyfriend winds up moving. Do you know why I’m telling you all of this?” Mikey asked when he had finished.

“That’s how he knew, isn’t it?” I asked quietly, even though I already knew the answer.

“Yeah, that’s how he knew, and why he was so worried. He has lived through it, and honestly probably wouldn’t be with us if not for Frank. We found out that the guy had almost killed him, it had gotten so bad. We don’t want that happening to you. One thing you need when dealing with this kind of relationship is a strong support system, and people like that know that. That’s why they try to cut you off from all of your other relationships, why he didn’t want you to talk to any of us. He made you break up with Ryan didn’t he?” Mikey said, and I nodded, though it felt more like a rhetorical question.

“He didn’t really make me, I guess, he gave me a choice.” I said quietly, after thinking it over and feeling like I was about to cry again.

“Even if it seems like he gave you a choice, it never really is with those types of people.” Mikey said, rubbing my back. “I’m going to guess the alternate choice would hurt someone, either physically or emotionally?” I nodded. “See, then that wasn’t really a choice. It was something designed to look like a choice, to make it seem like it was your fault. None of this is your fault angel.”

“Do you guys think you are okay to go to your last classes?” Jack asked, once we had been silent for a few minutes. “If not, I can let you guys stay in here, but I have a study hall to watch over.”

“No, no I need to go, I need to see him.” I said starting to sit up, trying to pull myself together.

“No, you don’t need to see Michael right now. He can deal with not seeing you if you still need some time.” Mikey said, watching me.

“No, not Michael.” I said, feeling a small blush come to my cheeks as I whispered the last part. “Um, I have study hall with Ry.” Mikey smiled.

“I’ll walk you there then, okay?” Mikey asked, and I nodded.

“Thank you Jack.” I said once we had gotten our things together.

“Anytime doll.” Jack replied with a wink. Mikey walked me to the classroom, Ryan’s face immediately showing worry once he saw me. He didn’t even give any signal to Spencer or Brendon that he was leaving the conversation, he just got up and came over.

“Is everything okay? Is he hurt? Did something happen?” Ryan asked, not giving any room for an answer.

“Don’t worry, Jack was letting us have some time in his office. He’s just really shaken up about that video that got sent to the group chat, along with some other stuff. I’ll let him explain, I should get to class.” Mikey said, before turning around and walking away. Ryan brought me over to where he had been sitting before and I sat next to him, laying my head on his shoulder.

“So, none of us watched it, but do you wanna tell us what was on that video?” Ryan asked calmly, and I shook my head. “Okay, do you want to tell us why someone else has your phone?”

“He told me to give it to him.” I said quietly.

“I’m guessing this was after the hospital.” Ryan said, and I nodded. “Well get it back for you babe, don’t worry.” He added as he started combing his fingers through my hair, calming me even more. “Hey, can I see your cast again babe?” I nodded and held out my arm for him, he took it and looked it over. “Am I still the only one who’s signed it?” he asked, sounding confused, and I nodded.

“You’re the only one I’ve wanted to sign it.” I said with a small smile, making him smile and his eyes light up.

“Really?” he asked, and I nodded. “Can I add more then?” I nodded again, and he pulled out a sharpie. He started adding doodles and words like ‘you’re beautiful’ and ‘you’re amazing’. When he was finished, there was hardly any free space left, and I honestly couldn’t have cared less. Looking at the cast now, I didn’t think of Michael and how he had caused it, I thought of Ryan and everything he was doing to make me feel better.

“Thank you Ry, it’s beautiful.” I said, leaning up to kiss his cheek.

“Just like you.” Ryan answered without missing a beat, making me blush.

“Ugh, you guys aren’t even dating, and I swear you’re more disgusting now than when you were.” Spencer joked, and I stuck my tongue out at him.

“Shut up Spence.” Ryan said. “You’re just jealous that you can’t be this cute with Jon.” Spencer immediately turned around with a blush on his face.

“Wait, you have a crush on Jon?” I asked. _When did this happen?_

“Shut up, no I don’t.” Spencer denied, still refusing to look at us, which made Brendon start laughing.

“Sure, and Ryan is a virgin.” Brendon said teasingly.

“Wow, how the hell did I get wrapped into this?” Ryan asked, almost sounding offended.

“You started it.” Spencer said, finally turning back toward us.

“Actually, technically you did Spencer. When you said we were disgusting.” I said with a small smile.

“Hah, see? Thanks babe.” Ryan said kissing my cheek.

“Mr. Ross, Mr. Irwin.” The teacher said and we both immediately looked up. “Both of you are to report to Mr. Barakat’s office after class.” We nodded.

“What do you think that’s about?” I asked, confused.

“I have no idea, I hope nothing too serious. If it was, we would probably get sent now, wouldn’t we?” Ryan responded. Luckily class was almost over, so we wouldn’t have to wait long to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to let me know what you think, it means a lot.


	27. Had Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone has had enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the last chapter I actually have complete at the moment, so it might be a few days before the next update.

** Ashton’s POV **

We walked mostly in silence, wondering why Jack had called us both to his office. When we got there, Ryan knocked on the door and we both walked in. Jack smirked at us and held out my phone. “Turns out, Mr. Clifford is in the study hall I have last period.” I smiled and hugged him before taking the phone back.

“Thank you Jack.” I said as I slid my phone in my pocket.

“So, that’s awesome and all, but why am I here?” Ryan asked, not trying to be rude, just curious.

“Oh, yes, I’ve spoken to Frank. Both of you are to go to his house, he said he needs to talk to you both.” Jack said and we both nodded.

“Don’t we all usually head over there anyway?” Ryan asked, confused as to why he was being told this.

“Yes, but not today, he said only you two. Well, and Mikey, but he lives there.” Jack said.

“Oh, okay then, I guess we’ll see you later then.” I said, not really sure what else to say.

“See you later doll, see ya Ryan.” Jack said, and we both left, almost as confused as when we had gone in. We drove in silence and because of that I was startled when Ryan reached over after a minute to take my hand. I smiled and intertwined our fingers. When we got there Mikey opened the door for us.

“You guys didn’t talk about what we talked about in Jack’s office, did you?” Mikey asked, looking between us. I shook my head, looking down.

“I didn’t want to press it.” Ryan said before smiling over at me. “He looked happier, I didn’t want to upset him again.”

“Okay.” Was all Mikey said until we reached the living room. “They didn’t talk.” He told Frank and Gerard, who looked between us and nodded. Apparently they all understood our reasoning for not discussing it.

“Mikey, why don’t you take Ash to your room, maybe get high. We’ll talk to Ryan and call you back out when we’re ready for you.” Frank said with a hint of something in his tone that I couldn’t quite place.

“Okay, come on Ash.” Mikey said leading me to his room where we sat on his bed. He started cutting out four decent size lines. “I figure you could use the extra kick right about now.” He did one then handed the glass and straw to me, once I had done one I handed it back to him, before repeating the motions once more.

“Fuck.” I said leaning my head against his chest while my head was rushing.

“You can say that again.” Mikey said laughing, before leaning down to place a soft kiss against my lips that I returned.

“Thank you Mikey.” I said with a small smile.

“Anytime Angel.” He said, returning the smile. “You deserve it right now.”

“Mikey, you guys can come out now.” Frank called to us.

“We already came out.” Mikey joked as we started out, making me laugh. I immediately stopped laughing when I saw Michael, Luke, and Calum sitting on the couch, now watching us. Michael looked pissed, I looked to Mikey to see if he knew, and saw that he didn’t look surprised. _How could they? I trusted them._

“I should go.” I said looking down.

“No Ash, you’re already here, why not stay.” Michael said, sounding as pissed as he looked, and I was honestly terrified. Frank seemed to notice immediately.

“He’s right, why don’t you sit over there with Ryan.” Frank suggested. “Both of you.” I looked over at Ryan and saw him seething, glaring at Michael. Once we were all sitting, Frank spoke again. “Now, I called you all here for a very specific reason, which will become apparent momentarily. But first, Ryan, go ahead.” He said motioning to Michael. “I know you’re just dying to.” He finished with a smirk.

“You’re right, I am.” Ryan spat out. He got up, crossed the living room, and punched Michael in the face.

“What the fuck?” Luke yelled, getting in Ryan’s face. “What the fuck was that for?”

“Sit the fuck down, both of you.” Frank ordered before Ryan had a chance to say anything. They both obeyed, looking pissed. Frank turned to Gerard with a smile. “Why don’t you go get our first guests, love.” Frank said.

“Of course babe.” Gerard said getting up and going over to the guest room, poking his head in to say something we couldn’t hear. A moment later, two sweet looking guys came out and returned to the living room with Gerard.

“These are a couple of close friends of mine, they helped with a similar problem a few years ago.” He said before introducing all of us. “Kellin, Vic; one of you take Calum, the other take Luke.” He said nodding towards the couch. The two of them roughly grabbed Luke and Cal, holding them back as they tried fighting to get free.

“What the hell Frank?” I said, getting up to go help Luke and Cal.

“Restrain him.” Frank said. Before I could even take a step, I felt Mikey and Ryan pull me back. “I’m sorry Ashton, this is for your own good.” He added as I struggled against their grip. Michael started to say something before being silenced by Frank.

“Shut it, I’m not done yet, I have a couple more friends to introduce to everyone.” Frank said with a smirk before calling out to the other room. “You guys can join us now too.” Two more guys, that looked threatening, walked out of the room to join us. “These are my friends Andy and Oli, they also helped with that problem I was telling you guys about.” Frank said before introducing the rest of us, acting like everything was fine.

“What is this supposed to be some kind of gang bang or something? Because it’s getting a bit too kinky for me.” Michael said, with way too much attitude before smirking. “But, I’m sure there’s at least four people in this room that would be down for that.”

“Oh you just do not know when to shut up, do you?” Frank asked, before turning to Andy and Oli. “Have fun.” Without saying anything, Andy and Oli walked over to Michael, and proceeded to start beating him after yanking him off the couch.

I had to look away, hiding my face in Ryan’s shoulder, but I could still hear Luke and Calum yelling and struggling to get free. “Frank, you bastard, let us go.” Luke yelled.

“Shut the fuck up Lucas.” Frank said. “Kellin, Vic, keep them quiet. Andy, Oli, stop.” When everyone had done what they had been told to do, Frank continued. “There are multiple reasons why I am doing this, and I expect an apology for each one. First of all, Michael, I do not appreciate you coming in to my house and insulting or insinuating anything about anyone who lives here. Apologize to Gerard and Mikey.” Michael didn’t respond, instead choosing to spit blood out of his mouth towards Frank. “Okay, you two can continue, since he apparently has not learned his lesson yet.”

I heard the sounds of more hits landing, and Luke and Calum fighting to get free. After a few more minutes, Frank spoke up again. “Stop.” Once Andy and Oli had stopped again, Frank spoke. “Second, all of the insults to Ashton are getting ridiculous. You two are dating, and you still call him a whore. I do not appreciate you insulting my friends.”

“Sorry.” Michael choked out before spitting out more blood. “I’m sorry that Ashton is a fucking whore. Or did he not tell.” Michael didn’t get to finish what he was saying before Frank motioned for Andy and Oli to continue. I was trying to hide my tears but knew Mikey and Ryan could still tell. Luke and Calum were putting up less of a fight now.

“Enough.” Frank finally said. When Andy and Oli stepped back, Frank walked over to Michael, where he was hunched over on the ground. He grabbed Michael by the hair making him look up at him. “Anything else you would like to confess to?” Frank asked. I chanced a glance and saw that Michael’s face was now covered in blood, he looked like he was about to die.

“Fuck you Frank, I didn’t do shit.” Michael said, choking on his own blood as he spoke.

“You sure about that?” Frank asked, when Michael stayed silent he turned to us. “Ashton, sweetheart, can you come over here for a second?” I looked between them nervously before Ry urged me up. “Don’t worry, I’ll be the only one to touch you.” As I walked over he turned to Kellin and Vic. “Kellin, Vic, make sure those two have a good view.” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw them moving. I looked down, unable to look at anyone at the moment. Frank lifted my face so that I was looking at him. “Just look at me, it’s like no one else is here, okay?” I nodded. “Okay Michael, how did Ashton’s arm get broken?”

“He fucking fell, we told you that.” Michael said angrily.

“Wrong answer.” Frank said before untying the bandana from my neck. “What about these bruises on his neck?”

“He probably.” Michael started before Frank cut him off.

“Before you answer that, see right here?” he pointed out a place on my neck. “That is where someone choked him.” Michael stayed silent, so Frank continued. “Can you lift your shirt please Ash?”

“Please don’t make me.” I whispered, I didn’t want everyone to see.

“It’s okay, just for a minute.” He said, and I nodded and closed my eyes as I pulled my shirt off, revealing the bruises covering my chest and back. I heard multiple gasps from behind me and Luke start fighting again as Frank looked the bruises over before turning back to Michael. “The last fucker that decided to abuse someone I cared about, barely escaped with their life. And if I ever see you near Ash again, you won’t even be that lucky.” As he spoke, I pulled my shirt back on.

“He’s my boyfriend.” Michael spat.

“Not anymore.” Frank said, sending a hard kick to his stomach and making him double over. “Kellin, Vic, you can let those two go now.” They let Luke and Cal go, but before they could move Frank spoke again. “You two, I still am only doing business with Ashton. I don’t want to see the two of you come here for that, got it? In fact I really don’t want to see the two of you at all at the moment.” They nodded. “You both should have realized something was going on, you have known Ashton a lot longer than we have.” They both looked down, guiltily. “Now get the fuck out of my house and take this fucking disgrace to the hospital before he dies.” Once they had all left, Frank sat back down next to Gerard.

“Thanks guys, I knew I could count on the four of you for this.” Frank said to Andy, Oli, Kellin, and Vic.

“No problem, I’m always willing to take care of trash like that.” Andy said as Frank tossed him and Oli towels to wipe their hands off with.

“Ryan, I think it’s safe to say you guys are good now.” Frank said, and Ryan walked over wrapping me in his arms.

“Is, is that okay? Like do you want to date me again?” Ryan asked softly. I nodded, hiding my face in his neck, breathing in his scent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to let me know what you think, it means a lot.


	28. We Don't Have to Talk

** Ashton’s POV **

Frank, Gerard, and Mikey had all but demanded that Ryan and I spend the night in one of the guest rooms. I was having trouble falling asleep, even with Ryan’s arm wrapped around me. Every time I closed my eyes I saw Michael’s face before he left, or saw him coming after someone I cared about, I was terrified. I quietly slipped out from under his arm and after grabbing my shoes, I slipped out of the room. I just needed some fresh air to calm me down, at least that’s what I told myself as I pulled my shoes on and made my way to the front door.

“And where do you think you’re going?” I heard behind me, making me jump. Turning around I saw Andy sitting up, shirtless, on the couch.

“Shit, I thought everyone was asleep. I just need some fresh air.” I said, looking back towards the door.

“I’ll go with you then.” He said, not waiting for a response as he started pulling on his own shoes.

“No, no that’s fine. I’ll be fine, go back to sleep.” I said, I didn’t want to be the reason anyone had to do something they didn’t want to do.

“No can do, Frank would kill me if I let anything happen to you. Not to mention, you’re way to cute to be walking around alone at this time of night.” He said, grabbing his shirt from the ground and pulling it on as he walked over and held the door open for me. We walked in silence for a little while, with nothing but the sounds of our footsteps and each other to keep us company. “So, like, what’s your deal?” he asked, finally breaking the silence.

“I’m still figuring it out I guess.” I said, making him laugh.

“Okay, how about we start with something a little easier.” He said, thinking it over before he continued. “How did you meet that guy? The one from yesterday.”

“He was my cousin’s best friend, I’ve known him for years. Instead of talking, can we just go back and get high or something?” I asked, I really didn’t want to talk about all of that right now. I knew sooner or later I would have to with Mikey and or Ryan, but I didn’t want to now.

“That sounds fucking perfect.” He said as we started back towards the house. When we got back I went over to Ryan’s car and grabbed my bag from where I had left it in the back seat. “We can use my car if you want, that way we don’t have to worry about accidentally waking someone up.” He said pointing to a car parked a little further up the road.

“Sounds good.” I said letting him lead me to it. We got into the back seat since there was more room and I opened up the box, setting it between us. “I’m gonna need some help with this.” I said as I prepped the needle.

“No problem.” He said, helping me tie off my arm before taking the needle. Once we were both high, I looked over at him.

“Thanks for the help.” I said, smiling.

“Thanks for the high.” He answered with a smile of his own. _God, he has a gorgeous smile._

“You have amazing eyes.” I said, letting my fingers trace over the tattoo on his neck.

“Thanks.” He said looking me over. I didn’t give him a chance to add anything else as I leaned forward and connected our lips, straddling him as well as I could. I felt his hands on my hips before he pulled his mouth away. “Look, if this is only because of what.” I cut him off before he could finish, I knew what he was about to say anyway.

“It’s not, I swear.” I said connecting our lips once again, only pausing to remove his shirt. Once his shirt was off, I moved down to kiss his neck, that’s when I felt his grip on my hips tighten.

“If you keep this up, I can’t promise that I’ll be able to control myself.” He said in my ear as I bit down on his neck.

“Then don’t, please.” I whispered, taking off my own shirt before going back to kissing his neck. I heard what almost sounded like a growl come from him and the next thing I knew I was laying across the back seat with him over me, kissing my neck.

He reached into the pocket on the back of the front seat and grabbed a bag of pills, a condom, and a bottle of lube. “Take one of these, it’ll make you feel so much fucking better.” He said, handing me a pill and taking one himself as I took mine. He leaned down connecting our lips once more as he started rubbing me over my pants.

“Please, more.” I asked. Soon I couldn’t pay attention to what was actually happening, only how amazing everything felt.

When we were finished we collapsed on the seat and he reached around on the floor before pulling out a blanket to cover us with. We both got comfortable as I laid my head on his chest with a yawn “We’ll just rest for a little while and then head back in.” he said, I nodded, I didn’t even want to think about moving any time soon.

** Ryan’s POV **

I woke up slowly, before startling awake once I realized Ash wasn’t in bed with me. _Maybe he’s in with Mikey_ , I thought as I got up, pulling on a shirt. I went to Mikey’s door and knocked. “Five more minutes Gee.” Mikey said sleepily.

“It’s Ryan, is Ashton in there with you?” I asked. I heard shuffling around before the door whipped open in front of me.

“Ashton was with you, he’s not anymore?” Mikey asked, and I started freaking out.

“Oh god, what if _he_ has him?” I asked, anxiety coursing through me.

“Shh, Ry, don’t worry. Andy and Oli took care of _him_. Maybe Ashton just went to Gee and Frank’s room.” He said, and I nodded. He went to their room, a few minutes later all three of them came back out looking worried. “Ry, why don’t you try calling his phone?” I nodded and called, only for the phone to start ringing from the room I had been sleeping in.

“Fuck! Where is he?” I didn’t care how much I was freaking out. I just got him back, and now we don’t even know where he is.

“Calm down Ryan; Andy and Oli spent the night last night. I’ll ask them to help look, trust me we’ll find him.” Frank said, going to the other guest room and knocking before going in. Oli came out a few minutes later with a yawn.

“Ashton’s the one with the broken arm right?” Oli asked, after receiving nods from everyone he continued. “Cool, okay, I know who I’m looking for then.” He said before walking to the living room. “Andy took off too, I’ll try calling him.” He said already lifting his phone to his ear. “That seems about right for him, his phone’s dead.” He said as he hung up, rolling his eyes.

“Okay, well, let’s all head out and look for either of them.” Frank said, and we all pulled on shoes and headed out. None of us had made it very far before we heard Oli laugh.

“Found them.” Oli yelled. When I looked back, he was standing by an unfamiliar car.

** Ashton’s POV **

I woke up to someone knocking on the window. “Shit, we overslept.” I said, looking up to see Andy smirking at me before flipping off the person knocking at the window.

I turned to see Oli laugh before yelling to someone. “Found them.”

“We were missing?” I asked as I started pulling on my clothes from where we had thrown them on the floor.

“Apparently.” Andy replied with a laugh as he got redressed as well. By the time we were both fully clothed and out of the car everyone else had made their way over.

“Do you really have to sleep with every pretty face you see?” Oli asked, making Andy laugh and shrug. I bit my lip as I walked over to Ryan, letting him wrap his arms around me.

“Sorry Ry, I couldn’t sleep.” I said quietly, I felt him kiss my head.

“Don’t worry about it babe, I was just worried when I woke and I couldn’t find you. Next time, just leave a note or something, at least take your phone. I can’t say I blame you though, he is pretty hot.” Ryan said making me smile. I knew he sent a wink to Andy when I heard him start laughing behind us.

“Guess I do, Oli, not that I’m complaining.” Andy said. “Especially if they’re anything like this one was last night.” I started giggling and turned around in Ryan’s arms to face everyone else, so my back was against his chest.

“He was my first, so I think it’s safe to say that he’s at least a little like I was.” I said, turning my head back to place a kiss on Ryan’s cheek.

“So, I hate to be that person, but if you guys are planning on going to school you should probably start getting ready before it gets much later.” Gerard spoke up, checking his phone.

“Shit.” Mikey said, checking his as well. “Come on you two, we’re already late. I’ve got clothes the two of you can borrow.” When we finally made it to the school, third period was ending. We had decided since we were already running late we might as well get breakfast before we went to school. Ryan took my hand as we walked into the office to check in before heading to our classes. Ryan walked me to my class, giving me a quick kiss, before heading to his own.

I entered the room and handed the pass to the teacher before taking a seat next to Pete. “You look happier.” He noted.

“I am, I won’t really go into detail, but me and Ryan are back together.” I said with a smile.

“Does that mean that trash was taken care of?” he asked with a smirk and I nodded.

“I’m sure you’ll find out more during lunch.” I said before we both decided to pay attention to the lesson.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to let me know what you think, it means a lot.


	29. We Don't Fight Fair

** Ashton’s POV **

Pete and I walked out of the class and towards the cafeteria when we saw Patrick talking with a cute guy. “Hey Patrick.” Pete called out, getting a small smile and wave from Patrick before he returned to his previous conversation without saying anything. Pete hated being ignored, so in his own typical fashion, he walked over and picked up Patrick before walking to the cafeteria. The guy was watching them walk away, both of them laughing, with a confused look on his face. I smiled at him when he finally turned away and gave him a small wave, that had him walking over.

“Hi, I’m Zack.” He said once he had reached me, and now that he was closer I could see a hint of muscles under his shirt.

“Ashton, but most of my friends call me Ash.” I replied starting to walk towards the cafeteria.

“So, those two seem close.” He said as we walked, and I could hear a hint of something in his tone.

“He’s like that with most of his friends, but yeah, Patrick and Pete are pretty close.” I answered with a smile. “Do you wanna sit with my friends and I?” I asked as we got to the cafeteria.

“Well I kind of had plans to sit with Patrick.” He said, looking down, and I started laughing.

“That’s the same table.” I said once I calmed my laughing. “Come on.” I led him over to the table where Pete had Patrick in his lap and was making him laugh. “Hey everyone, this is Zack.” I said, getting everyone’s attention, including Patrick who looked a little guilty.

“Hey Zack, sorry _someone_ interrupted our conversation.” Patrick said smiling. “Come sit by me. Come on Pete, let me go.” He added, trying to squirm out of Pete’s hold, who only laughed.

“No can do.” Pete said, kissing Patrick’s cheek. Zack got the look of confusion on his face again before sitting between Pete and myself.

“So, how long have they been dating?” Zack asked, making everyone laugh.

“I’m not dating Pete, silly, I’m dating you.” Patrick said, before anyone else could say anything, shocking everyone and making Pete tense up. “Ah, Pete, stop. Let go, you’re hurting me.” I saw Pete’s arms loosen, but they looked tense.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were dating someone?” Pete asked after a minute, sounding hurt.

“I only asked him out today.” Zack answered, sending a smile to Patrick who quickly returned it.

“I wasn’t talking to you.” Pete snapped, sounding pissed.

“Pete, be nice.” Patrick said, slapping Pete’s arm. “He was just answering your question.”

“And I was only telling him that I wasn’t talking to him.” Pete said, full of attitude. “Never mind, fuck this.” He added, moving Patrick out of his lap and getting up.

“Pete, come on, please don’t be like this.” Patrick pleaded, grabbing Pete’s arm.

“Mikey, you coming?” Pete asked, ignoring Patrick and pulling his arm away. Mikey and I looked at each other before Mikey shrugged.

“See you guys later.” Mikey said getting up and going with Pete. Patrick watched them both leave, looking like he wanted to go after them until Zack slid his arm around his waist.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cause any problems.” Zack told him, kissing his shoulder.

“No, it’s probably my fault, I should have told him first. I know how he gets.” Patrick said. Deciding to let them have their privacy, I turned to Ryan, seeing he looked less confused than I felt, but still slightly confused.

“So, was that normal?” I asked, having never seen that happen.

“Kinda, usually when Pete and Pat have an argument, Pete is the one to storm off. And more often than not, Mikey is the one to help him blow off steam. I just don’t understand why Pete is upset, I get that Pat didn’t tell him separately, but I think he’s overreacting. I’m sure everything will be fine soon.” Ryan said, kissing my cheek. I felt my phone go off and decided to see who had texted me.

**From Lukey:** Hey, is everything ok? I saw your friend storm off.

I looked across and saw Luke and Calum sitting at the table, looking at me worried, I nodded before texting back.

**To Lukey:** Everything is fine now, thanks.

So what if I was a little short with the message. Honestly, I was a little annoyed that they were acting worried and protective now, instead of when I needed them to. I slid my phone back in my pocket and turned back to Ryan. “So, do you think Mikey will be back in time for class?” I asked, curious as to what the normal thing was with those two.

“Probably not babe, I’m sure he will by the next class though.” Ryan said after thinking it over for a second.

“Okay Dal, that means it’s just you and me.” I said with a smile.

“Oh god, that does not sound promising. Half the school is gonna blow up.” Spencer joked. I just shot him a look and he stopped laughing and turned away. “Sorry.” He said quickly, making Ryan and I start laughing. When Brendon realized why we were laughing he joined in, making everyone look at the three of us in confusion.

“What the hell is up with them?” Jon asked Spencer, looking between us confused.

“Nothing.” Spencer answered a little too quickly, before continuing. “Don’t worry about it, they’re probably just high or something.”

“Yeah, or something.” Brendon said with a laugh. Dallon and I did not blow up the science lab; however we did manage to start a small fire, that we were not going to be telling Spencer about. Mikey did wind up making it to our next class, even if he was a little late, and completely out of breath.

“You look like you had fun.” Dallon teased when Mikey sat next to us.

“Shut up Dal.” Mikey said before turning to me and lowering his voice. “I totally did though, nothing is better than Pete in a pissy mood. Like, thank whatever god decided to bless that boy with anger issues. I’ve never been one to pray, but damn would I get down on my knees for that.”

“That good?” I asked. I knew from the little we’d done together that he was good, but Mikey made it seem like the best thing in the world.

“Well I didn’t exactly go for the conversation.” He said and we both laughed.

“Way, Irwin.” The teacher snapped and we both looked up to see him pointing towards the door. We both grabbed our things and left before starting to laugh again as soon as the door closed behind us.

“I really wish I could say that was my first time getting kicked out for disrupting a class.” Mikey said, finally getting his laughing under control.

“It is mine.” I said trying to control my own laughing.

“I am surprised that Dal didn’t get kicked out though, he’s usually the first.” Mikey added, looking back towards our classroom, even as we entered a different hallway. “To bad none of the others got kicked out of their classes too, we could have so much fun.”

“I’m gonna text the group chat.” I said pulling out my phone and opening the chat.

**From Ash:** Mikey and I got kicked out, we’re going to Ry’s car if anyone is looking.

Mikey looked at it once it was sent and started laughing. “Well that’s one way to say we want other people to leave class, without saying it out right.” He said as we walked towards the car. We decided to each do a line before getting back out of the car and relaxing, I was sitting on the hood and Mikey was leaning on the side between my legs. I was resting my head on his shoulder until we heard a voice behind us.

“So what did you two get kicked out for?” We heard Pete ask.

“We were talking, you?” Mikey answered. Of course he wouldn’t want to explain exactly what got us kicked out, even if I was sure it would eventually come out.

“Ah, that would be the age-old trick of flipping off the teacher and walking out.” Pete said with a laugh, settling his hands on Mikey’s hips. “What were you two talking about?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Mikey teased, biting his lip.

“Maybe I would.” Pete said, leaning down to connect his lips to Mikey’s.

“Well as much fun as this is, can you maybe not do it against me?” I asked, startling when I heard a familiar laugh behind me. I turned and smiled when I saw Ryan on the other side of the car. “Move, move.” I said excitedly, gently pushing Mikey and Pete away from me before sliding off the car and going to the other side to kiss Ryan. He almost immediately lifted me up onto the hood of the car again, never separating us. “Ry, I don’t wanna go to Art, can we skip?” I asked when we finally pulled apart.

“Sure babe, whatever you want.” He said, pulling me back in for another kiss. “We can even head over to Mikey’s early if you want.” He added a few minutes later.

“That sounds like a great fucking idea.” Pete said, looking Mikey over.

“Yeah, let’s head back to my place, I’m sure Frank and Gee won’t mind.” Mikey added, nodding. Pete and Mikey went over to Pete’s car and Ryan and I got in his, and soon all four of us were pulling up to the familiar house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to let me know what you think, it means a lot.


	30. All I Want

** Ashton’s POV **

We were all waiting for things to get better between Patrick and Pete as the weeks went past. Every time it looked like they were though, something else seemed to happen. Patrick continued trying to get things back to normal, but there was only so much that he could do without jeopardizing things with Zack. Zack was also doing his best to befriend everyone from our group, including Pete, who seemed to do his best to ignore Zack. It was ultimately when Zack was becoming friends with Mikey, that Pete really snapped again.

“Don’t you have friends of your own, stop fucking thinking we all like you.” Pete yelled at Zack.

“We do like him.” Mikey started before Zack stopped him.

“You need to fucking stop acting like I’m your enemy, your only enemy is yourself right now.” Zack said, causing Pete to glare at him.

“What the fuck did you just say to me?” Pete said, looking like he was going to punch Zack before thinking better of it. “You know what, fuck this, I don’t need this.” Pete stormed out again, and when he didn’t ask Mikey to follow we were all more than a little confused.

“Well I guess I’ll be back.” Mikey said, starting to get up, before Patrick grabbed his arm.

“Wait, if he wanted you to go, he would have asked like any other time. Maybe I should.” Patrick started before I cut him off.

“No offense to either of you, but I don’t think he really wants to see the two of you right now.” I started, feeling bad when they both looked down. “I’ll go see what his problem is. I’ll see you guys a little later.” As I got up I gave Ryan a quick kiss on the cheek, telling him I’d see him later, then left. I wasn’t completely sure where I would find Pete, but I figured his car would be a safe bet. “Pete.” I called out when I found him leaning against his car.

“What the hell do you want?” he asked when he turned and saw me, before turning back away.

“Now you’re gonna start being rude to me too?” I asked once I had gotten closer and stopped walking. “What has gotten into you?” When he didn’t answer me I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him and resting my head against his chest. “Come on, talk to me. You’ve been acting really weird since Zack came around, he’s a nice guy.” I felt him tense, and knew I struck a nerve.

“Of course he’s such a nice guy, everyone prefers him now. I should just fucking go, it’s not like any of you need me anymore.” He said pulling away from me.

“Is that what this is about?” I asked, making him look at me. “Of course we still need you.” I said placing a soft kiss to his lips that he immediately returned. “We will always need you.” It didn’t seem like he was listening though when he immediately kissed me again, harder this time, before picking my up and putting me on the hood of his car as we kissed. I could feel him grinding against me and his hands against my ass as I tried to pull away, only succeeding in him moving from my lips to my neck. “Pete, fuck, Pete.” I let out a small moan as he found the spot on my neck and started sucking and biting. “Pete, stop.” I just barely managed to get out.

“Why?” he asked, not bothering to stop. Rubbing my dick through my pants. “It doesn’t seem like you really want me to.” It was getting harder to remember exactly why I wanted him to stop, when all I could think about was pulling him closer. _Now I know why Mikey_ , I gasped as I remembered and pushed him back.

“Pete, I came out here to talk to you. What’s going on with you and Patrick, and you and Mikey?” I asked, trying to clear my mind again.

“I’d rather not talk right now.” He said as he connected his mouth to my neck once again and pulled my legs around his waist.

“We, we can’t just fuck on top of your car.” I said, my resolution starting to crumble.

“That’s what back seats are made for babe.” He said lifting me up and moving us to his back seat before pulling off my jacket and shirt and going back to kissing my neck.

“Fuck it, we can talk later.” I said pulling his face to mine and kissing him as I pulled off his shirt. It didn’t take long for the two of us to be completely rid of our clothes, and it seemed to take even less time for Pete to be fucking me.

 “This was not how this was supposed to go.” I said with a small laugh as I pulled back on my clothes once we were finished.

“Ah yes, but I preferred this much more. In fact I’m up for round two if you are.” He said starting to kiss my neck again.

“Down boy, now we talk.” I said, giggling and pushing him away.

“But I don’t want to talk.” He said with a small whine, as he started pulling on his own clothes.

“Too bad. Why did you get mad at Mikey today?” I asked, and he huffed.

“He was getting really friendly with Zack.” He answered, sitting up and shrugging.

“So? What’s wrong with Zack? Were you getting jealous? Do you like Mikey?” I asked. It didn’t seem like there were real feelings between Mikey and Pete, but maybe.

“No, Mikey and I are just fuck buddies, that’s all.” He said, and I realized he had avoided the rest of my questions.

“But you are jealous of Zack? Why?” I asked, looking over at him.

“I, it’s not that I’m.” Pete started before I cut him off, everything finally clicking into place.

“Oh my god, you like Patrick, don’t you?” I said, I don’t know why I didn’t see it before.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Patrick is my best friend.” He said, already starting to get out of the car.

“Pete, stop.” I said grabbing his arm and making him look at me. “I won’t tell him, but I think you should.” I said giving him a quick kiss. “And you should give Zack a chance, he’s a nice guy. And I’m sure that he’ll stick around even when he and Patrick break up.” He looked at me for a second before we both got out of the car.

“Fine, I guess I’ll try to be nice to him, but I’m not.” He started but I cut him off.

“I didn’t say you had to tell Patrick, but I think you should. You should at least think about it. Now come on, we should get back to our classes.” I said, leading him back towards the school.

“I’ll think about it, okay?” He said, refusing to look at me.

“That’s all I ask.” I said with a smile as we started towards my class.

“Thanks.” He said, leaning in to give me a kiss on the cheek once we made it to my class, before heading off towards his own.

“So, he looked like he was in a better mood.” Mikey said behind me, as I was about to walk in, making me jump. I turned around to see him and Dallon, both of them smirking.

“Uh, yeah. We, uh, we talked.” I said walking into the classroom and taking my seat, avoiding their looks.

“I know from personal experience, that you guys did not talk.” Mikey said with a laugh.

“We did too talk.” I said, a little too defensively.

“Fine, but you two did a little more than talk, didn’t you?” Mikey asked, nudging me with his elbow.

“Or a lot more, look how much Pete marked up his neck.” Dallon pointed out. I could feel my face heating up as I adjusted the collar of my jacket and shirt as they laughed.

“Oh my god, would you guys shut up?” I said, trying to focus on the lesson, but not having much luck. As soon as the bell rang I ran out of the class room and to my locker where I ran, quite literally into Ryan who was talking with Brendon.

“Hey babe.” Ryan said with a smile, giving me a quick kiss that I returned, before looking me over. “What’s got you in such a rush? And what’s with?” he trailed off, making a motion to his neck. I heard Mikey and Dallon start laughing again behind me.

“That would be Pete.” They answered together, and I could honestly slap both of them right now.

“Oh my god, would you two shut up?” I said hiding my face in Ryan’s chest. Brendon finally decided to take pity on me and changed the subject.

“So, Ryan and I have decided what song we’re gonna do for the talent show.” Brendon said, drawing everyone into a conversation.

“You wanna talk about it?” I heard Ryan whisper to me.

“We fucked, and we talked. The talking was expected, the fucking really wasn’t, but probably should have been.” I whispered back, and he nodded.

“We should probably head to study hall.” Spencer said before long, and we all realized that we really should all head where were supposed to go. Spencer, Brendon, Ryan, and I went to our class as the others went to theirs. Ryan reached over to take my hand and I smiled as I intertwined our fingers, leaning in to give him a kiss.

“Come on you two, we don’t want to be late.” We heard Brendon say and we broke apart, a small smile on my face as Ryan shoved Brendon.

“Shut it Bren, he’s worth it, you know he is.” Ryan said with a laugh as we walked in the classroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to let me know what you think, it means a lot.


	31. What Would You Do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be on the lookout, there may be a second update tonight. I have another chapter complete and while I would normally post it tomorrow, I will be gone all day for a concert. It still needs editing, so it will not be immediately posted, but should be at some point tonight. It also picks up immediately where this one ends.

** Ashton’s POV **

The next day went a lot smoother than most days had gone these past few weeks, with Pete actually having a discussion with both Mikey and Patrick without getting upset. I tried ignoring the looks that everyone sent me, especially when I smiled at Pete in appreciation during lunch. While he didn’t specifically try starting a conversation with Zack, he also didn’t flip out when Zack spoke to him, so it was definitely a start. “That must have been one hell of a conversation yesterday.” Mikey said as we were walking to our class and Pete was no longer in hearing distance.

“Yeah, I’m a little curious too babe.” Ryan said, his arm around my waist, as he kissed my cheek. Before I had a chance to respond to him Dallon spoke up.

“Or you must be one hell of a lay.” Dallon said with a smirk, that was soon wiped from his face.

“Weekes.” Ryan said with a scowl and a glare, slamming Dallon against the lockers. “You wanna fucking repeat that? To _my_ fucking _face_ this time. Or would you rather I.” I cut him off before he could continue.

“Ry, it’s fine, he was joking.” I said calmly, pulling Ryan back from Dallon.

“Obviously I was joking.” Dallon said with a laugh before continuing. “I mean, maybe if you just.”

“Dal, do yourself a favor and just shut up.” I said, shooting him a look and he shrugged but stayed silent. “I’ll see you in art class Ry.” I said giving him a kiss before we separated to go to our respective classes, smiling when he turned back to wave as he walked away.

“You need to learn to control that mouth, it’ll get you into trouble.” Mikey told Dallon with a laugh as we walking into our class.

“Like you’re one to talk, we all know just how much that mouth of yours can get you in trouble.” Dallon replied with a laugh of his own.

The rest of the day seemed to go fairly quickly and soon we were at Mikey’s house, not all of us, maybe half. Ryan and I happened to be the last ones there. That may have been because we got caught up making out in his car, not that I was going to admit that, to anyone. Everyone was already in their own conversations, so we just tried to walk over to the open seats without disrupting anyone. We were doing well until I felt arms wrap around my waist and pull me back into someone’s lap, that was also when everyone’s conversations halted, and I noticed everyone start staring. When I looked back I realized why; Pete had been the one to pull me into his lap, the only person who sat is Pete’s lap was Patrick. The Same Patrick that was currently sitting across from us, and almost looking a little hurt. Between what had happened at lunch and now this, everyone realized there was a brand-new dynamic in our relationship.

“Well, hello to you too Pete.” I said giggling and trying to move his hands. “Care to let me go?”

“Nah.” He said with a laugh, keeping his hands where they were. “I’m pretty comfortable, I like you right where you are.”

“What the hell happened here?” Gee asked. I felt Pete breath against my neck and I shivered and shot him a look before I had a chance to answer.

“They _talked_.” Dallon said with a smirk and used air quotes.

“I know all about Pete’s _talks_ , he _talks_ with Mikey all the time, and not once has Mikey been in his lap.” Gee started, repeating Dal’s air quotes, before Mikey cut him off.

“No, Gee, I guess they actually talked. I don’t usually actually.” Gerard cut him off before he finished.

“Got it, but that still doesn’t explain this.” Gerard said, motioning to us. I was doing my best to ignore his hands trailing along my sides, and finally I grabbed his hands to stop them as I tried to hold in a giggle. “As far as I know, his lap has been like permanently reserved for Patrick, and only Patrick. That’s how it’s always been.”

“Wait, I thought that was something he did with all of his friends.” Zack said, confused as he looked to Patrick who shook his head. Before Patrick had a chance to say anything Gerard spoke back up.

“No, it has always been strictly a Patrick thing, until now apparently.” Gerard said, and I looked over to see Zack and Patrick in a hushed conversation, Zack looked anything but happy. I looked back towards Gee and saw Frank motioning for him to stop talking before he looked back over and caught my eye. I could tell he was curious about this too, though he chose to stay silent.

“For everyone’s information, I am allowed to have anyone I damn well please in my lap.” Pete said, finally deciding to speak up. “Sorry for deciding I wanted Ash to sit in my lap.” He added, though honestly sounded anything but, especially when I felt his grip tighten. I leaned my head back against his shoulder.

“Chill out.” I whispered in his ear, before kissing his cheek, and feeling his grip start to loosen back up.

“Do you wanna help me relax?” I heard him ask before feeling him kiss my neck.

“I don’t know.” I whispered, wanting nothing more than to give in, even though we had just gotten here. “Maybe we should wait until things settle down a bit.” I felt Pete’s hands start to wander and felt myself starting to get lost in the feeling.

“Hey, now, stop that.” I heard Ryan speak up a few minutes later and I jerked up in Pete’s lap looking at Ryan, with a slightly guilty look. “You’re coming with me Wentz.” He said, pulling me off Pete’s lap.

“What makes you think that?” Pete said standing up and getting in Ryan’s face.

“Because I fucking said so.” Ryan answered with a smirk, starting to walk towards one of the guest rooms with a suggestive look on his face. “I mean unless you don’t want help with that little problem of yours.” Pete glanced at me and I nodded before he followed Ryan to the room. I knew someone would comment on it, but thankfully Zack spoke up and saved me from having to give any explanation.

“Well, uh, we should probably get out of here.” Zack said, still not sounding exactly happy, getting up and holding his hand out to Patrick. “We have reservations and we need to get ready.” He added as they left.

“I should probably head out too.” Dallon said, checking his phone. Once he left it was only Frank, Gee, Mikey and myself left in the living room. I was feeling on edge from Pete so hadn’t noticed Frank and Gerard whispering to each other until Mikey spoke up.

“Well I guess I’ll take that as my signal to leave.” Mikey said before getting stopped by Frank.

“First, why don’t the four of us do a little something.” Frank said as he got up and walked over to his safe. He pulled out a few things before returning to his previous seat and starting to prep the needle. “Why don’t you cut the lines out, love?” he asked Gerard who nodded and got to it. Once we were all high Mikey spoke up again.

“Well thanks for that Frank, but you two look like you want to be alone so I’m gonna head to my room now.” Mikey said getting up and starting towards his room. “Come on Ash.”

“Sit down Ashton.” Frank ordered when I moved to follow Mikey, I just looked back confused. Frank raised an eyebrow, waiting to see if I would do as he said and smirked when I did. “Don’t worry about Ashton, Mikey.” He added without taking his eyes off me.

“Oh, god, ew, no. I did not need that imagery in my mind. Thank you Frank.” Mikey said shaking his head as he walked to his room and shut the door, probably planning on listening to music and drowning out everything around him. Frank glanced at Gerard and suddenly Gee was walking over and sitting next to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to let me know what you think, it means a lot.


	32. Perfect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tonight was a double update, so if you have not read the last chapter, do that now.

** Ashton’s POV **

 “So, did you guys like need to talk to me? Or like.” My words got caught in my throat as Gerard leaned over and pulled me into a kiss. I slid my hand into his hair, pulling him closer as I kissed back. Soon he had me pushed back so I was laying on the couch with him over me, our lips never separating.

“Enough, love.” Frank said to Gerard, who in turn just gave him a teasing look. I couldn’t hold back the moan when Gerard pulled my head aside by my hair to kiss my neck. His leg sneaking between mine to grind against my dick, and his other hand getting lost underneath my shirt.

“Please.” I whispered. I know I sounded desperate, but I was right now. It already felt like too much.

“Gerard, I said enough. Do not make me punish you.” Frank said in a tone that left no room for argument; that seemed to get his attention because he finally sat up. “Ashton, come over here.” Gerard moved out of the way so that I could get up and go over to stand in front of Frank who looked me over before getting up and turning me around, so we were both facing Gee. He wrapped his arms around my waist, palming my dick through my pants as he began kissing my neck. I laid my head back against his shoulder, barely registering when he began to speak again. When he spoke I made sure to pay attention though. “You still think Gerard doesn’t want you? Look at him, look at the way he’s watching us. The way he directly disobeyed me, just to play with you. You know I don’t like being disobeyed, don’t you baby boy?”

“Please Frank.” I said. I needed so much more than I was getting now, I felt like I was about to explode.

“I told you that you’d be begging for us baby boy, didn’t I?” Frank asked, before biting down on my neck. I bit my lip to hold in the moan, not wanting the rest of the house to hear. “If you really want this, go to our room. I want you to kneel by the foot of the bed and wait for us to come in there. Got it?”

“Yes sir.” I said, not even realizing I said it until Gerard brought attention to it.

“Sir? You’re right Frankie, he is a natural.” Gerard said, and I blushed. When Frank let me go I made my way to their room and knelt like I was told to. As I knelt there, waiting for them to come in, I thought over everything. _What if they were just fucking with me? What if they don’t really want this? If they do come in are they just doing it out of pity? What if._

I didn’t have a chance to continue with my worrying because they soon walked in. Frank sat on the bed beside me and motioned for Gerard to go to the closet as he turned me, so I was facing him. “Look at me baby boy.” Frank started, only continuing once I did. “We may do some things you’re not used to, if you feel uncomfortable at all I need you to say red. If you say red, we stop everything; we don’t want to do anything that will make you uncomfortable. If for any reason you cannot say that, then I need you to snap your fingers, okay?” I nodded, and he continued speaking. “I need you to vocally consent baby boy. I need to make sure you completely understand.”

“I understand.” I started, continuing when he looked as though he expected more. “If I feel uncomfortable then I say red or snap my fingers.”

“Good boy, now take off your shirt.” Frank said before addressing Gerard, he kept his eyes on me to make sure I obeyed as he held his hand out to Gee. “Give me a blindfold and a tie, love.” Once my shirt was off and Gerard had handed him what he asked for, he secured the blindfold around my eyes before speaking again. “Give me your wrists now, baby boy.” Without being able to see it took me a second to be able to do as I was asked, but soon they were placed in his lap, where he proceeded to tie them together. “Is this okay baby boy?”

“Yes sir.” I said quietly, unsure what would happen next.

“I want you to be a good boy and blow me.” Frank said, tracing my jawline with his finger. “You want to do that for me, don’t you baby boy?” I nodded and heard a zipper in front of me. His hand that had been tracing my jawline guided my mouth to where it should be, and I began sucking, feeling extremely pleased when I heard Frank moan above me.

Suddenly I was pulled back by the same hand that had been guiding my movements. “Sorry baby boy, we have a bit more planned for you though. I would hate to have to end this early.” Frank said, guiding me to stand up. “I want you to lay on the bed now baby boy. You want to make me happy, don’t you?” Once again I nodded, and I felt one of them help me lay down on the bed When I was laid down and they kissed me, I knew it was Gerard. “Tie his wrists to the headboard now, love.” Frank said, and I felt my arms being pulled above my head before being secured in place. Once Gerard was finished he got up from the bed and Frank soon joined me, he kissed along my jaw before finally kissing my lips. As we kissed I felt his fingers trail down my chest, then stomach before finally resting at my pants. He teased me for a few minutes before finally undoing my pants and sliding his hand inside.

It was a few minutes later when I finally heard it; the sound of a camera. My mind flashed back to Michael, and the video he had sent to my friends, the video he had threatened to send to everyone. “Stop.” I said, pulling back from the kiss with Frank, even I could hear the anxiety in my own voice. Frank stilled all movements and I felt Gerard comb his fingers through my hair. I tried pulling my hands free, feeling more anxious that I felt so helpless.

“Why did you say stop baby boy? Did you mean red? Is this too much?” Frank asked calmly.

“Why are you taking pictures?” I asked, I needed to know before anything else.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it would make you uncomfortable.” Gerard started, still running his fingers through my hair. “You two just looked amazing together and I wanted to be able to properly capture the image later.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, I didn’t understand what he was saying, and it was only making me more anxious.

“He’s an artist baby boy, he just wants to be able to draw us or paint us later. Is that okay?” Frank explained, and I thought it over.

“You won’t show anyone else?” I asked, and I heard Frank breath in deeply beside me, it finally dawning on him.

“Of course not baby boy, only the people you decide will be able to see this. Now is it okay if we continue? If not, that’s okay too. Do not worry about upsetting us, we only care about you right now.” Frank responded, and I nodded. “No baby boy, vocalize your answer.”

“Yes sir, everything is okay now.” I answered, biting my lip before I continued. “Um including the pictures, if he would like.”

“Good boy.” Frank said, before his lips once again connected to mine and he resumed his movements. I just hope they kept their word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to let me know what you think, it means a lot.


	33. Tattoos And A Switch-Blade Attitude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long. I went to the All Time Low concert in Syracuse a couple weeks ago, it was fantastic, I was like two feet away from Jack at one point. After that though, I've had a lot of negative things going on in my personal life that I am still trying to get sorted out.

** Ashton’s POV **

 Over the course of the next week, I hadn’t really noticed anything out of the ordinary, aside from Mikey and occasionally Ryan giving me weird looks. Pete continued pulling me into his lap whenever he felt like it, and when that happened Ryan would usually sit next to us and sometimes take my hand. It had gotten to the point that the only person who seemed bothered or surprised by it anymore was Patrick. Pete had decided to perform in the talent show, and already asked Joe, Andy, and Patrick to help play. Pete asked me if I minded taking a look over the lyrics when Mikey’s weird looks finally turned into more. I originally thought it was because the talent show seemed too close to still be working on lyrics, until he spoke up.

“Okay, seriously? What the fuck? Stop that.” Mikey said to me, drawing my attention from where it had been previously; focused on Frank.

“Stop what?” I asked, confused. I looked to see if anyone else understood what he was on about, before turning back to Mikey. “What are you talking about?” Instead of answering me, Mikey turned to Ryan and spoke.

“You’ve noticed it too, right? I’m not crazy?” Mikey asked, making Gerard laugh.

“I wouldn’t go that far Mikey, crazy runs rampant in our family.” Gerard said, causing Mikey to give him a glare before turning back to Ryan.

“I’ve noticed it too, I wasn’t sure if it was only me though.” Ryan said before looking over at me, squeezing my hand and smiling fondly in the way he does. “I think it’s kind of cute though. Though I totally wish it was me, it’s still cute.”

“Would someone care to explain to me what the hell is going on?” I asked, only getting more annoyed the more they spoke, ignoring my questions.

“Over the last week, you keep looking to Frank for approval, for all sorts of things.” Mikey explained, looking annoyed himself. That didn’t seem right.

“No I don’t, that’s crazy.” I said, getting more annoyed; especially with myself, even if I didn’t want to admit that. I pushed up from Pete’s lap and dropped Ryan’s hand, deciding I didn’t want to be around anyone right now. After I had taken a few steps towards the front door, I heard Frank speak up.

“Come here.” Frank said, making me stop moving but I didn’t go over to him. “Now, Ashton.” He ordered, making me bite my lip. I looked down but walked over to him. When I stood in front of him, he lifted my face, so I was looking at him. “You have been, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. What there is something wrong with, however, is someone making you feel like there's anything wrong with it.” He said, pointedly looking at Mikey when he said the last part, before looking back at me. "If you want, we can talk more about this later.” He said lowering his voice so only I could hear, and I nodded.

“Sorry, it's just. Gee isn't even like that with you, and he's not that way with Ry. I just thought it was a little weird.” Mikey said defensively to Frank.

“That’s because this isn't about who is dating who Michael, it's something different. None of this involves you, so drop it.” Frank said in a tone that left no room for argument.

“Fine, whatever, sorry I said anything.” Mikey said, annoyed but not wanting to argue.

“Honestly, you should be.” Frank said, slowly running his hand up and down my back to calm me. When I looked over at Mikey and him staring down at his hands.

“Mikey.” I said quietly, everyone still heard me though and looked at me. “Um, can we go to your room for a few minutes?” I asked, not feeling exactly comfortable with everyone's attention at the moment. He nodded and allowed me to lead him there, as I tried to ignore the look on Frank’s face that showed how unhappy he was with this decision.

“I’m sorry Ash.” Mikey started as soon as we got to his room. “I wasn’t really thinking before I spoke and.” He stopped talking as I hugged him tightly and buried my face in his neck.

“I didn’t even notice; how did I not notice? What if Ry hates me?” I asked, feeling like I was about to start crying.

“Shh, shh, Angel, it’s fine. Ryan could never hate you. Plus you heard him, he thinks it’s cute.” Mikey said, trying to calm me down as he stroked my back.

“But he also said he wishes it was him. Why isn’t it him?” I said, feeling like I was disappointing everyone.

“And Frank said it had nothing to do with who was dating who. I’m sure you can talk to Frank and he can explain things better, he seems to know more about this. Hell, he seems to know more about most things.” He said before pulling back to look at me. “Do you want a little something to help take the edge off?” I nodded, and he pulled away to go to his closet where he left his supplies. In no time we were both high and making out on his bed, which seemed to be what everyone expected because we heard a knock on the door instead of anyone just opening it.

“Ashton, you have guests.” Frank called in to us.

“Why the hell would I have a guest here?” I asked Mikey as we separated.

“I don’t know, do you think it’s Luke?” Mikey asked, leaning over to kiss my cheek as we walked to the door.

“I don’t know, maybe.” I answered as we opened the door. I turned to look at Frank before I spoke again. “Who is it?”

“I don’t know, they’re in the living room, they say they know you. You may wanna save them from Pete and Dal, they look like nice guys.” Frank said, turning to walk back towards the living room without saying anything else. We followed him out and when I saw who was sitting on the couch my face broke out in a smile.

“Li! Zaynie!” I screamed in excitement, running over and wasting no time to climb onto Zayn’s lap to kiss him, not caring who was watching. I felt Zayn’s hands go to my waist as he kissed back, and I let mine go to his shoulders.

“Ash? Didn’t you say you had a boyfriend?” I heard Liam ask a moment later, but before I could even break away to answer, I heard Ryan speak up.

“It’s fine, I am definitely okay with this.” Ryan answered, sounding distracted. That was all I needed to hear to not pull away.

“I’d pay good money to watch those two fuck.” I heard Pete say a few minutes later and I couldn’t help but groan.

“I’d pay even better to fuck those two.” Dallon replied to Pete, and it was then that I pulled back from Zayn.

“Seriously Dal?” I asked turning around to look at the two of them. “The two of you need to learn to control yourselves. I have never fucked Zayn, and I am almost certain that I never will. Zee and Liam are just really good friends that I haven’t seen since summer vacation, and I got a little over excited.” I explained, before thinking it over and continuing so no one said anything. “Zayn taught me to kiss, so it was just kind of my first thought.” I smiled and leaned over to give Liam a kiss on the cheek before taking a seat next to Ryan.

“So, uh, Ash.” Zayn started, sounding a little dazed. “Care to give us introductions?” I nodded before turning to everyone else.

“Okay everyone, this is Liam and Zayn.” I started, motioning to each of them before starting the other introductions. “Well, for starters, this wonderful guy next to me is Ryan, next to him is his best friend Brendon.” I started, taking Ryan’s hand as I introduced him. “Those two assholes who don’t know how to keep their mouths shut are Dallon and Pete.”

“Thanks babe, love the nickname.” Pete answered with a smirk and a wink as I shook my head, I don’t know what else I expected from him.

“Moving on. Then there’s Frank, and his boyfriend Gerard. And of course Gerard’s little brother, and my best friend, Mikey.” I said with a smile. Before I knew what had happened Liam was off the couch and had Mikey slammed against the wall.

“You think I don’t know what the hell you did?” Liam was yelling as Pete and Dallon tried to pull him off, but he didn’t seem phased by either of them.

“Get the fuck off my brother.” Gerard yelled, Frank holding him back, so he didn’t do anything stupid. Frank obviously Gee wouldn’t be able to hold his own against Li.

“You think he didn’t fucking tell us what you put him through?” Liam yelled, slamming him against the wall again. I gave Zayn a look as I ran to try to help pull Liam away from Mikey.

“Liam enough!” Zayn ordered, once he realized that Liam wasn’t even reacting to me.

“What the hell was that Li?” I asked, more than a little pissed off, once he had finally let Mikey go. I couldn’t help but stand defensively in front of Mikey in case he tried anything else.

“How can you even talk to him after what he put you through? Let alone consider him your friend?” Liam asked, glaring past me at Mikey and still looking ready to fight.

“What the hell are you talking about Li? Mikey didn’t do anything.” I answered, confused.

“He broke your fucking arm and beat the shit out of you.” Liam answered still sounding pissed, and suddenly everything made sense.

“No he didn’t Li, that was Michael, not Mikey. And he has already been taken care of.” I said wrapping my arms around Liam, hugging him. “We don’t have to worry about him anymore.”

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” Liam said to Mikey, his attitude immediately turning around once again.

“It’s fine, I would have done the same thing to that bastard. Hell, I know people who would have done worse.” Mikey answered, pointedly not looking towards Frank as Gerard was making sure he was okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to let me know what you think, it really means a lot.


	34. Waiting For Disaster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what got into me, but I was able to write four new chapters in the span of about twenty-four hours, hope you enjoy this one.

** Ashton’s POV **

“Come on Li, you should blow off a little steam, and you can tell me why you guys are here.” I said heading towards the door and pulling him with me.

“Where the hell are they going?” I heard Brendon ask, assumedly to Zayn.

“Oh, they’re just going for a run, they’ll be back after a few miles.” Zayn responded like it was nothing, and to him it really was.

“A few _miles_?” Dallon asked, sounding shocked. “Who the hell runs _a_ _few miles_ for no reason?”

“Those two do, all the time, they actually.” I couldn’t hear the rest of it as we walked out, and I let out a little laugh.

“You’ve been slacking haven’t you?” Liam asked as we started jogging.

“A little bit lately because of my arm being in the cast, not to mention I don’t have anyone to work out with.” I answered, thinking over everything.

“You should find someone then, maybe your boyfriend would.” He said, and I couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“Ry doesn’t really work out, or run, or anything. But I might ask this one guy, he’s dating a friend of ours. I see him running sometimes, and he looks like he works out.” I said after thinking it over for a minute. _Even if things didn’t work out with Patrick, Zack looked like he would make a good workout partner._

“You should, don’t wanna lose those hard-earned muscles.” He replied with a laugh. We decided to run in silence for a while after that.

“So, you never did tell me what you guys were doing here?” I said as we slowed down to a walk once we were almost back.

“Well you know Zee just started modeling about two years ago, and it got serious about a year and a half ago?” Liam started, seeming to drag his words a little.

“Yes Li, so what? Has he got a photoshoot around here or something?” I asked, confused as to why Liam was going over Zayn’s history with me.

“Well yes, but that’s not the whole reason. You remember we found out he was fighting anorexia last year, after that one photographer called him fat?” Li questioned, and I nodded, now realizing why he had been hesitant to start. _How could I forget? That was around the same time I started throwing up most of what I ate, when I actually could force myself to eat. I hadn’t told anyone, choosing instead to deal with it on my own. I still found it difficult to eat sometimes._

“Yeah, Li, I remember. That still doesn’t explain why you guys are here.” I said, managing to keep my voice even.

“Well Zee got the offer for the photoshoot, and its one he normally would have turned down. We missed you though and haven’t had a chance to make sure you’re okay after everything. So he took it and called up your principle, there’s going to be an assembly tomorrow about body image and like eating disorders and stuff like that.” Liam explained, smiling over at me. “And the people who are doing the photoshoot are going to send someone to write an article based on it to go with the shoot.”

“Oh my god Li, that’s amazing. Why am I just finding out about this now? If you guys had given me a heads up I could have done something.” I asked, I could have planned a welcome party or something.

“We didn’t tell you because we wanted to surprise you, and from the reaction you gave Zee, I’d say it worked.” Liam answered with a smirk and I shoved him playfully as we entered the house once more.

“You’re a dick.” I said jokingly as we walked into the living room and I looked at Mikey. “Hey, do you have a shirt I could borrow? This one got too sweaty.”

“You could just stay shirtless.” Dallon said, looking me over and I just rolled my eyes.

“Yeah, of course, you know where they are.” Mikey said, and I smiled at him, getting an idea.

“Thanks Mikey.” I said stripping off my shirt as I walked to his room and I heard him start laughing. When I came back out after switching shirts I sat back down between Zayn and Ryan.

“That was definitely a Zayn move.” Liam stated, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“It really was, I’m so proud of you.” Zayn said hugging me and making me laugh even more.

“I can’t believe you run for the hell of it babe, you really think you know someone.” Ryan teased, causing me to laugh.

“And we all know you prefer.” I was cut off by someone coming in the front door.

“Yo Frank, please tell me you have some coke, I really need some after the day I’ve had.” Jack yelled as came in and my eyes went wide, worried about how Zayn and Liam would react. I felt Ryan squeeze my hand in reassurance. When Jack got to the doorway he looked at Zayn and Liam in surprise.

“Jack, shut the fuck up.” Frank said, annoyed. I bit my lip before deciding to try to diffuse this situation.

“Jack, these are a couple friends of mine; Liam and Zayn.” I said motioning to each of them and trying to ignore how pissed they looked.

“Damn doll, if I knew you had such attractive friends visiting, I would have dressed up a little.” Jack said as he looked over them.

“Don’t even think about it, they’re together.” I said before turning to them. “Li, Zee, this is a friend of ours; Jack.” Unsurprisingly it was Liam who spoke up first.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing Ashton? Hanging out with people who do coke?” Liam started, _thank god he didn’t know I did it too_.

“Li.” I tried, but he didn’t seem to hear me.

“Do you know how pissed, not even pissed. Do you know how disappointed Louis would be in you for this?” Liam continued, now standing in front of me.

“Li.” I tried again, still making no impact.

“Is this about.” Liam started before Frank cut him off, we all knew where that was headed, and no one wanted to hear it.

“That’s enough.” Frank said, looking pissed.

“You stay the fuck out of this.” Liam said to Frank before turning back to me. “I just can’t believe you would let yourself be caught up in this type of shit.”

“Liam!” Zayn scolded. “That’s fucking enough. We can finish this discussion when we get back to his house. Right now we are guests at someone else’s house, and you just snapped at said person.” Liam looked like he was about to say something, but Zayn continued before he could. “Apologize to Frank, then the three of us can head back over to Ashton’s house.” I didn’t feel like arguing with Zayn, so I turned to Ryan and gave him a quick kiss as Liam apologized to Frank.

“I’ll text you later babe, I’ll be fine.” I said before turning to Liam and Zayn. “I’ll meet you guys outside.” Zayn nodded and pulled Liam out to the car and I turned to everyone else. “Don’t worry, he’ll wear himself out. He’s all talk, he would never hurt me, he just worries. He’ll cool off eventually, I’ll talk to you guys later.”

“Sorry doll, I didn’t realize anyone else was here.” Jack said, stopping me on my way out.

“Really, it’s fine Jack, I’ll talk to you later.” I said, kissing his cheek before walking to the front door and grabbing my helmet from where Mikey and I left them and putting it on. I ignored Liam and Zayn as I walked over to my bike, starting it and taking off towards my house. Once we were all at my house Liam started back up. I started zoning out, only half paying attention, until he brought up Ryan.

“This is all your new boyfriend’s fault, isn’t it? You never showed any interest in those type of people or drugs or any of that until these new friends, and you said yourself that you met these people through him.” Liam said, still sounding pissed, and I finally exploded.

“Shut the fuck up Liam, you have no idea what you’re talking about. Ryan only smokes weed, and before you say anything about that, do you really think I don’t know that Harry does too? Just because I hang out with people who do drugs doesn’t mean that I do them. Zayn is a model, that industry is jam packed with addicts. Zayn isn’t an addict, correct? So get off my fucking case.” I screamed, I was about to continue before Zayn touched my arm and I realized how shocked Liam looked.

“Sorry, I guess I just overreacted. I just thought, with everything going on this year. It was wrong of me to react the way I did.” Liam said, looking guilty. I hugged him, letting him know he was forgiven.

“I just need to be alone for a bit, I’ll be in my room.” I said, already starting up the stairs. Once I entered my room, I locked my door and grabbed the stash I left in my closet. I popped a couple pills to take the edge off, before replacing the box and laying on bed. I let them start taking effect before pulling out my phone.

**To Lukey:** You should have given me a heads up that Liam and Zayn were here.

**From Lukey:** Oops.

I rolled my eyes, deciding not to text back. Instead I pulled up the group chat.

**From Ash:** Everything’s good now. He yelled, I yelled, now I’m in my room alone.

**From Ry <3: **Need me to come over?

**From Ash:** Nah, just wanna be alone. And wanna know what happened that Jack wanted coke?

**From Frank:** No you don’t.

**From Ash:** I think I do though, it started a fight with one of my best friends.

I got a notification that Luke texted me so switched back to that conversation.

**From Lukey:** Oh yeah, there’s something you should know.

**To Lukey:** What?

As I waited for him to text back, I got a couple more texts in the group chat and switched back to that one.

**From Mikey:** He deserves to know.

**From Ry <3: **If you guys don’t tell him, I will.

**From Frank:** No one needs to say anything.

Luke finally texted back, but before I had a chance to switch over, Jack texted.

**From Jack:** I just had an unexpected student in my study hall today…

I got a bad feeling as I opened up Luke’s text.

**From Lukey:** Michael is back. He got through his anger management classes and his parents went to the school today to get him set back up.

I felt my hands start shaking and could only watch as my phone slipped from my fingers.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to let me know what you think, it means a lot.


	35. Fucked Up And Spun Out

** Ashton’s POV **

I grabbed my bag that held my main stash before grabbing the bottle of vodka I had hidden in my closet and throwing that in there too. I grabbed my phone, putting that in the bag as well before unlocked my door, planning on going for a walk to clear my head when I heard the doorbell. I froze, my anxiety taking over as I ran to the other side of my room, climbing out of my window and down the side of the house before taking off. Once I reached the wooded area by the park I decided I had gone far enough, I walked in until I found a fallen tree and sat down pulling my bag in front of me. Ignoring my phone I pulled out the box and the bottle.

A little while later I was far enough gone that I couldn’t remember how much of each thing I had done but looking at the bottle that had been full when I started, I noticed it was about half gone now. I put everything back in my bag and pulled out my phone to see how long I had been out here but couldn’t focus on the screen. I put my phone back in and started walking again, walking past the park and along the side walk. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going, and therefore it should have come as no surprise when I walked right into someone who was talking on the phone after walking for a while. I felt his hands go to my waist to keep me from falling.

“I’ll call you right back.” I heard him say before he put his phone in his pocket. I looked him over, he looked so familiar, but I couldn’t place where I knew him from. “Ashton right?” he asked, and I nodded, still trying to remember who he was. “Are you alright?” he seemed to think better of his question though, because he continued before I had answered. “Come on, let me take you to my place for a while, let you sober up.” I nodded and let him lead me as he pulled his phone back out.

“Hey.” He started once the other person had answered. “I’m on my way back now, I found that guy. Frank’s friend. He’s really fucked up, could you set up some place to let him lay down for a bit?” I zoned out as he kept talking, trying to focus on not tripping over my own feet as we walked. Before too long we stopped in front of a house and he led me in, where someone equally familiar was walking out of a room.

“The guest bed is set up, I put some Tylenol on the night stand with a bottle of water.” The second guy said to the first.

“Did we fuck or something? Is that why you two look so familiar?” I asked before looking them both over. “Because if we didn’t, we totally should, you both are hot. I’m definitely digging the tattoos.” They both laughed before the second one spoke up again.

“Let’s get you to bed, we can talk about that when you’re a bit more sober.” When I didn’t make a move, the first guy lifted me up and brought me in to the room, laying me on the bed. He set my bag aside and helped me take off my shoes as I pulled off my shirt.

“I wasn’t kidding, you are seriously hot.” I said to the guy who just looked up at me and smiled. “Fuck, you have a really pretty smile.” I said, leaning forward and pulling him to me, kissing him. He stayed still for a moment before kissing me back. A few minutes later he pushed be back towards the bed. “Please fuck me.” I asked, looking up at him.

“I would darling, but that kiss tasted like straight vodka. Sleep that off, then we’ll talk, alright?” he said. I pouted but nodded, I didn’t want to sleep, I wanted to fuck. Before he left the room he went through my bag, pulling out my phone and turning it off so it wouldn’t keep going off, before placing it on the night stand as well. “Sleep, when you wake back up take the Tylenol and drink the whole bottle of water.” He said, writing something down and leaving it near my phone. I nodded and rolled over, so my back was to the door.

When I woke back up it was a lot darker out and I felt sick, I went to climb out of the bed and noticed a bucket. Without a second thought, I pulled it to me and threw up. Once I was finished, I set the bucket back down and read the note that had been left. I set it back down and took the Tylenol, making sure to drink the whole bottle of water as I tried to remember everything that had happened. I remembered bits and pieces, including kissing a really attractive guy with lots of tattoos, but I had no idea where I was. I also remembered what had started all of this. I reached for my phone and turned it back on, almost flinching at the amount of new texts.

“Shit, they’re gonna kill me.” I muttered as I looked at the onslaught of messages from not only Liam and Zayn; but Frank, Mikey, Ryan, Pete, Dallon, Jack, and Brendon. There was at least one message from each of the other guys as well, and I didn’t know what to do. _How could I explain that I had gotten high and drunk and went home with some guy that looked vaguely familiar? How could I explain I didn’t know who I had gone home with, or even where I was?_ I finally decided to put of replying to all of the messages and just closed my phone back up, they would still be there once I figured out where I was, and who I was with. I pocketed my phone and quietly left the room, not wanting to wake anyone up if they were sleeping.

“Good, you’re alive.” I heard from the living room, but when I looked out I couldn’t see who spoke. “The bathroom is to your left, there’s an extra toothbrush we set out for you on the sink. When you’re done, come join us out here.”

“Um, okay, thanks.” I said, a little confused as I did as he said. As I walked into the bathroom to brush my teeth I heard him waking someone else up. I brushed my teeth twice to make sure the taste was out of my mouth before looking at myself in the mirror, I looked like shit. I had dark circles under my eyes and my hair looked like a mess. After splashing some water on my face to try to make myself look a little more lively, I started trying to fix my hair. It was then that I realized I still wasn’t wearing a shirt. Once I looked a bit more put together I went back into the room and pulled on my shirt before heading out to the living room to see who the hell I was with.

My head was still hazy enough that it took me a minute to place where I knew either of them from, but once I finally did, I let out a sigh of relief. There are definitely worse people that I could have run into, like Michael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to let me know what you think, it means a lot.


	36. I'm Just A Kid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I've been debating writing this note for a while now, and finally decided to. I suffer from depression as well as a few other things, but my depression has been really out of control lately, like a very large downward spiral. My healthiest coping mechanism has always been writing, so I've been putting a lot of work into this story because of that. As weird as it sounds, even though I don't know any of you in person (besides my friend Sam or @Bookworm3292 on Wattpad) all of the support that I receive when I'm writing makes me feel like I'm not alone. I really appreciate all of my readers, because they take time out of their days just to read the words that I've written, even if they aren't always the best. So I just wanted to say thank you for everything, for the continued support that you all show me, as well as just showing me that I'm not alone.  
> Also, sorry, but because of that it's about to get a bit darker again.

** Ashton’s POV **

“Andy, Oli; god am I so happy that it’s you two and not someone else.” I said, relieved as I sat down across from them. Then I remembered what happened before I fell asleep. “Oh god, which one of you did I kiss?” Andy looked over at Oli in surprise, _I guess that answers that question._

“That’d be me.” Oli said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Don’t worry, I didn’t let it go any further than that.” I felt a lot better knowing that, even knowing that I had wanted to.

“Okay, well we can go back to that in a minute. We haven’t told Frank that you’re here yet, we wanted to wait until you were up and sober. We weren’t sure what had happened, so we didn’t want to tell him in case it had something to do with him. You should know that he has texted us, asking us to keep an eye out for you.” Andy said, deciding to get right down to business.

“Shit. No, it’s not him. I heard some really bad news and just couldn’t handle it. Thank you though, for not letting him know. Please don’t yet, I’m not quite ready to deal with everything yet.” I said, trying to avoid the inevitable.

“What was this bad news?” Oli asked, and I sighed.

“Apparently that guy from before is back, he went to anger management classes and got signed off or something.” I said, looking down at my hands, fiddling with them as I waited for an answer.

“The one that broke your arm?” Oli asked, sounding more than a little pissed.

“Uh, yeah. Apparently he’s back at the school and everything. I guess I just kind of freaked out when I heard that, I just didn’t want to think about anything. I still don’t, but everyone is probably freaking out, and I don’t really know what to say to any of them.” I said. _I couldn’t really message and just say ‘hey everyone, I’m fine, don’t worry’ could I?_

“Here, give me your phone, I’ll take care of it.” Andy said, holding out his hand. I handed him the phone and watched as he typed out a message and sent it. When he handed me back the phone, I looked to see what he had written.

**From Ash:** I’m fine, crashed at a friend’s house. Had to get away for a little while, I’ll see you guys at school. Don’t worry, they’ll give me a ride there.

“Thank you.” I said, before looking at the time and realizing I only had a little over an hour left before I had to be there. “Shit, I have to get ready. Can one of you guys bring me to my house so I can grab some clothes?”

“Don’t worry about that babe, I’ve got something in my closet you can borrow.” Andy said, getting up and walking to one of the closed doors.

“If he doesn’t, I’m sure I do darling.” Oli said, finally speaking up again before letting out a yawn.

“I’m really sorry about last night, I didn’t mean to get so fucked up. And I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything, I just.” I rambled before Oli cut me off.

“It’s fine darling, I wasn’t complaining. Just didn’t want to only hook up with you because you were high and drunk, I don’t need to take advantage of someone just to get off.” Oli said with a smile. I felt my face heat up slightly and was relieved when Andy walked back out with some clothes.

“These should fit, you can use the room you slept in last night to get dressed if you want.” Andy said, looking up at me, apparently unaware of the conversation that had just taken place.

“Thanks, both of you, seriously.” I said, getting up and taking the clothes from Andy before walking into the room. I pulled on the clothes, that thankfully all fit before pulling my shoes on as well. I realized I hadn’t worn a jacket or hoodie yesterday and cursed myself as I shoved my dirty clothes into the bag. When I walked back out, I noticed they were both back on the couch. “Uh, how do I look?” I asked, moving to stand in front of them.

“Shit, Andy, I think he might wear your clothes better than you do.” Oli joked, winking at me.

“First of all, no one wears my clothes better than I do. Second of all, Ashton, you do look good. Are you ready to go?” Andy asked, and I nodded.

“Yeah, I’m all set. Are you sure you don’t mind bringing me?” I asked, pulling my bag over my shoulder. “I can get ahold of someone else, it’s no problem.”

“Yes, I’m sure, let’s go.” Andy said with a smile as he led me out to the car. I couldn’t help but blush as I remembered what had happened the last time I had been alone in this car with him. We drove mostly in silence as I realized just how far I had apparently ran and walked last night. After about a twenty-minute drive we were finally pulling into the parking lot.

“Thank you again Andy.” I said leaning over to place a kiss on his cheek before getting out. When he drove off I looked around the parking lot and noticed that none of the guys were here yet. However I did see Luke and Calum over by Luke’s car, talking with Michael. As soon as I noticed them, I turned around and started walking away, hoping they wouldn’t notice me. Therefore I was caught by surprise when Luke caught up to me and placed a hand on my shoulder, making me jump.

“I’m so sorry Ash, I didn’t mean to scare you. You scared us yesterday, nobody knew where you were.” Luke said, pulling me in for a hug.

“Sorry, I just went to a friend’s house, I forgot to let anyone know.” I said, hugging him back and looking back to where Calum and Michael were watching us.

“It’s okay, I understand. Um, about that though.” Luke said, sounding a bit nervous. I pulled back to look him in the face. “Michael feels really bad about everything that happened. He said he’s been going to therapy and anger management classes, and he really wants things to go back to how they used to be. He really wants to try to make it up to you.”

“Luke, if you’re asking what I think you’re asking.” I started before Luke cut me off.

“Please Ashton, for me? Doesn’t everyone deserve a second chance?” Luke asked with a pout and his best puppy dog eyes, the ones that everyone found impossible to resist.

“Fine Luke.” I said, a little annoyed. “One chance, and if he fucks it up this time, I’m telling Frank immediately.” Luke’s eyes went wide for a second before he nodded.

“Deal, we were planning on all hanging out this afternoon. Michael’s cousin is in town and he wants to introduce us to him. Are you in? Or would you rather wait for another day?” Luke asked, looking hopeful.

“No, I’m in, I guess. Your house?” I asked, and he nodded. “Okay, I’m probably gonna need a ride. My friend brought me here, and the two friends from yesterday won’t have time, they’re leaving today.”

“No problem, I can give you a ride.” He said with a smile before walking back over to Michael and Calum. _I really hope I made the right decision._ I was caught off guard once more when I felt a pair of arms wrap around me from behind and start rubbing my arms to heat them up.

“My god, you must be freezing.” I heard Pete say in my ear. “I’ve got an extra hoodie in my car, come on.” He said leading me over to where he had parked and pulling a hoodie out before handing it to me.

“Thanks Pete.” I said, smiling as I pulled it on. We sat on the hood of his car until the others started pulling in. Once I saw Ryan I couldn’t hold in the smile as I slid off and raced over to his car. “Hey Ry.” I said smiling before leaning in and kissing him.

“Hey babe.” He said once we had pulled apart. “We were worried about you when you just disappeared last night.”

“I’m fine, I wound up getting a little too drunk and crashing at a friend’s house.” I said, we had decided it would be best to not get those two involved, seeing as they hadn’t told Frank. I then lowered my voice, so only Ryan could hear me. “Speaking of which, could I keep this bag in your car?” I asked, holding up the bag in my hand.

“Of course babe.” He said pulling open the back door for me and letting me put the bag in.

“Oh, and Luke asked me to hang out after school.” I said, avoiding looking at everyone.

“He looks too friendly with that asshole, I would have told him to fuck off.” Pete said, looking over to where Michael was still with Luke and Calum.

“Yeah, about that, Michael will be there too.” I said, waiting for all the protests to calm down before I continued. “Apparently he wants to try to make things right. I told Luke I’d give him one more chance and if he fucked up I was telling Frank immediately. I’ll make sure that they don’t leave the two of us alone, and it’ll only be for a few hours. I’ll have my phone the whole time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to let me know what you think, it means a lot.


	37. Once A Whore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have two quick little notes. 
> 
> The first one: I found my tumblr that I completely forgot about. So if any of you are interested in following me on that, you can find it here: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/namine-nobody-kiari-blog
> 
> The second one: I cross post on Wattpad, you can find that here: https://www.wattpad.com/user/NamineNobodyKiari   
> Second one, part two: On Wattpad I have pictures to head each chapter, should I go through and add them on here for each chapter? I already have them all saved, so I wouldn't have to find them, only go in and add them.

** Ashton’s POV **

Once we were all at Luke’s house, Michael pulled out his phone to call his cousin as the rest of us sat down. I decided to send a quick text to keep Ryan updated.

**To Ry <3: **Hey Ry, we’re at Luke’s now. So far, so good.

I smiled when Ryan sent back a heart and put my phone in my pocket as Michael came back out. “So, he should be here in about five minutes. I think you’ll all like him, he’s cool. He used to live around here before he moved a couple years ago.” Michael said before turning his attention to me. “Hey, do you think we could talk for a second before he gets here?” I nodded and headed to the kitchen. I knew we would have privacy but that if anything got out of hand, the others would be able to hear and stop anything from happening.

“Okay, talk.” I said once we were in the kitchen. I knew I sounded a little rude, but I felt like he deserved it after everything.

“I’m really sorry for everything I put you through Ashton. I shouldn’t have put you through even a fraction of what I did. I know I don’t deserve a second chance, but I’m really happy that you agreed to give me one. I swear, I will do anything in my power to make things up to you. And I completely understand if you never trust me again, but I really do want things to go back to how they were before I.” Michael got cut off by the doorbell ringing, and I chose not to let him continue.

“I won’t say it’s okay Michael, because it really isn’t, but we can worry about everything else later. We don’t need to drag your cousin, that you never see, into a problem between the two of us.” I said, giving him a pat on the shoulder. I didn’t feel comfortable enough around him yet to give him a hug. Once we made it back into the living room Luke had let his cousin in, all I could think was _‘damn’_. _I knew Michael was hot, I had always known that, but I never realized he had such an attractive cousin._

“Ronnie, you’re here.” Michael said happily, going over to him and giving him a hug before deciding to give introductions. “Everyone, this is Ronnie. Ronnie, this is everyone.” I couldn’t help but laugh before holding out my hand.

“Since Michael is so great at introductions, I’ll help. I’m Ashton, pleased to meet you.” I said, smiling when he took my hand with a glint in his eye.

“Believe me, the pleasure is mine.” He said, placing a kiss to my hand and making me blush, a second later I heard someone clear their throat.

“Uh, moving on.” Luke said awkwardly, causing us to break eye contact as well as him dropping my hand. “I’m Luke, and this right here is Calum.”

“Cool, I’ve heard a lot about you guys.” Ronnie said, looking over at them. “Though I do have to say, Michael here did not exactly do you all justice.” He continued, shooting me a wink that no one else seemed to catch. “So what did we all wanna do?”

“Well, we could go hang out in the back yard for a while, while it’s still halfway decent out.” Luke said, looking out the window.

“Sounds like a plan, let’s do it.” Ronnie said, and we all let Luke lead us out. I decided to sit in one of the lawn chairs as the others played, I didn’t really feel up to it at the moment. I had zoned out, startling when someone sat next to me.

“Can’t believe my baby cousin has been holding out on me.” Ronnie said, causing me to look over in confusion. “He never told me just how much of a sight you are.” I blushed and looked down, not expecting him to place his hand along my jaw. “I bet it’s an even better sight when you’re down on your knees.” I could feel my face heating up even more as I pulled away.

“I don’t know, I mean, I kinda feel like anyone would be.” I said, not looking at anything in particular.

“Come on babe, take a compliment. Or better yet, let me see if I’m right. We could sneak off to the bathroom for a few minutes, no one would even realize.” He said, trailing his fingers up my arm. _I liked him, he was hot, and I under normal circumstances I would definitely waste no time hooking up with him; but he is Michael’s cousin. The same Michael that put me through hell and was now trying to start making amends. What if this guy is anything like Michael?_

“I don’t know, you’re here to visit your cousin, who is a friend of mine.” I said, as an excuse.

“Come on babe, don’t tease me like that. He doesn’t have to know.” He pushed, his fingers now trailing across my neck.

“Look, I’m sorry. Me and Michael just went through some problems, and I don’t think I’d really be comfortable with that.” I said quietly, not expecting him to make me look at him.

“You know, you remind me of this other fat whore I used to date. He’d tease and then refuse to put out too.” He said before getting up and rejoining the others. I looked down at myself, replaying the words he had said. _What did he mean by fat whore? I know I haven’t really been working out lately, but I didn’t think I had really put on much weight. What if I had though? What if Ryan stopped liking me because I starting putting on too much weight? God when did I let myself get this way again._ I went back inside, grabbing my bag from where I had left it by the door and took a quick sip from the bottle before putting it back in the bag and walking back outside.

“Hey Luke, I’m gonna head back to my house for a little while.” I yelled before crossing the yard and entering through my back door. I knew my parents weren’t home, so I decided to just sit in the living room. I took another drink before cutting out a line, I was about to snort it when I heard a knock on the door. “Shit.” I said to myself. “Just a minute.” I yelled to whoever was on the other side of the door. I didn’t have time to put everything away, so I put the glass down on floor behind the table. It would be hidden from whoever was at the door, I then ran over to the door and opened it to see Ronnie leaning against the door frame.

“Uh, hi.” I said awkwardly before clearing my throat and continuing. “Um what are you doing here.”

“Hey there.” He said with a smirk. “I figured someone like you shouldn’t be over here all alone.” He looked past me and must have noticed something because he continued. “Plus, no one should drink alone.” I looked back and realized that I had left the bottle on the table.

“Really, it’s fine, I was just taking a couple shots before going back over.” I said, not wanting him to notice any of the drugs I hadn’t locked back up.

“Nonsense, I’ll keep you company, then we can both head back over.” He said, not waiting for a response before walking in and heading to the couch. “Well, well, well, it was a little bit more than drinking on your mind, wasn’t it?” he asked, and I knew he had seen the glass.

“Please don’t tell Michael, I don’t need the others to find out and give me a lecture.” I said, deciding to join him on the couch.

“Don’t worry about it babe, he still doesn’t know I do it, and I’ve been doing it for years.” He said grabbing the bottle and taking a sip. I decided to cut out an extra line, and once I had done mine I offered it to him. “Thanks babe.” He said taking another sip before handing me the bottle and I took a sip of my own. Soon enough we had made a decent dent in the bottle and I could feel myself coming back down, so I decided to cut out two more lines. Once we were both high again, I felt his fingers trail across my neck and shoulder as I drank some more, and I shivered. “There really is nothing like hooking up when you’re high. What do you say? We could make it real quick, they’d never know.” _I couldn’t really think of a good reason to say no at this point, he was hot, and he obviously wanted me_.

Instead of replying I set down the bottle before turning to him, pulling him in for a kiss. As soon as my lips touched his, I felt him take control as he pushed me back onto the couch and climbed over me, never breaking the kiss. We only pulled apart long enough to pull off our shirts. I felt him pull my hands above my head as we kissed, holding them with one hand. He moved his mouth to my neck as his free hand found its way down my pants, I couldn’t help but jerk up into his hand. “Should have known. You look like the kind of guy to be a kinky little bitch.” He said against my neck and I could help the little moan that escaped as he started jerking me off. “I bet you can be a real whore when you want to be.” He added, speeding up his movements. He knew what he was doing, he already had me on edge.

“Please, don’t stop.” I begged, I was so close.

“That’s right, beg me. If I get you off, you have to get me off.” He said, waiting for me to nod before reconnecting our lips as he finished me off as I moaned into his mouth. I grabbed my dirty shirt from the day before out of my bag and handed it to him. “Your turn now babe, come on, get on your knees.” He said once he had wiped his hand off. I placed another kiss to his lips before doing as he said, letting him take control immediately. “Fuck yes babe, so close.” He said after a while. “You gonna swallow for me like a good little slut?” he asked, and I nodded. It wasn’t much longer before he came in my mouth. “God you are a little whore, aren’t you?” he asked.

“I uh, I should probably go.” I said, standing up and pulling on my shirt. “I was supposed to hang out with some other friends of mine too.” I added. It wasn’t exactly planned, but I was starting to feel guilty for hooking up with Michael’s cousin and needed to get away.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to let me know what you think, it really means a lot.


	38. Paranoid

** Ashton’s POV **

“Well we can hang out again tomorrow, I’m in town for a couple more days.” he said, walking up behind me and trailing his hands down my hips, his fingers dipping into my pants. “I’d really love to see more of you.” He added suggestively, leaving no question to what he actually meant.

“Uh, yeah, sure, maybe.” I said, pulling out my phone and calling Mikey.

“Hey Ash, is everything okay?” Mikey asked once he had picked up the phone. Not really, I needed to get out of here now, but I couldn’t say that over the phone.

“Yeah Mikey, everything is fine. Can you come pick me up though? I’ve been drinking, and I just, I probably shouldn’t be driving right now.” I said, trying to ignore Ronnie’s hands that seemed to keep wandering.

“No problem, I’ll be there in five, see you soon.” He said before hanging up. When I pulled the phone away from my ear, I felt Ronnie start mouthing at my neck.

“Stop.” I said, pulling away and walking back over to the couch. I decided to take the few minutes to clean up and lock the stuff back up, taking another shot as I did so.

“I think your friend is here.” He said a few minutes later, deciding to walk out with me so he could head back over to Luke’s. Mikey took his helmet off to look at us in confusion that soon turned into anger. “Shit, Mikey Way, is that you?” Ronnie asked from behind me as we walked closer. “Looking good.” He added, giving him a once over.

“Radke? What the fuck are you doing here?” Mikey asked rudely, confusing me. _How the hell did they know each other?_

“How’s your brother?” Ronnie asked Mikey, choosing to ignore the question.

“He’s a lot better now that he’s not dealing with your bullshit.” Mikey said, looking like he wanted to hit Ronnie.

“Well I’ll see you around.” Ronnie said to me, ignoring Mikey and walking back towards Luke’s.

“You know him?” I asked, hoping that he would explain.

“Yeah, that asshole is Gee’s ex, the one I told you about. How the fuck do you know him?” Mikey asked, sounding pissed. _Shit._ _Shit. Shit. Shit. I just hooked up with Gerard’s ex. The ex that nobody likes because of what he put Gee through. The ex that Frank had people beat the shit out of. I should have known, after Michael. I should have been able to connect the dots._

“He uh, that’s Michael’s cousin I guess.” I said, deciding not to mention what we had done. _I couldn’t let any of them know, they would never forgive me._

“That makes sense. Should have known those two abusive assholes were related.” He said, pissed and glaring towards Luke’s house. I grabbed my helmet from my bike and got on the back of Mikey’s, trying not to think of how badly I had fucked up as we drove. When we got there Mikey still hadn’t cooled off any, I knew that if we walked in right now that everyone would know something was up, I had to do something.

“Mikey.” I said as I chased him to the door, causing him to stop with his hand on the knob.

“What?” He asked angrily, not even turning to look at me. I did the only thing I could think of and turned him around, pushing him against the door as I kissed him. I let him take out all his anger as he kissed back, this was different from any other kiss we had shared, almost violent now. I let him control everything until we almost fell when Frank opened the door.

“Can you guys maybe not try to fuck on the porch, where everyone can see you?” Frank asked jokingly, and Mikey looked over at him looking a lot less pissed off, but still not ready for jokes.

“We have to talk, alone.” Mikey told Frank, keeping his voice low enough that no one inside would hear.

“Okay, is everything okay? Ashton, Ryan is in the living room, I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you.” Frank said, and I was more than happy to take the opportunity to get out of this situation.

“No, Ashton needs to be part of this conversation. We’ll explain in a minute.” Mikey said, grabbing my arm to keep me from walking away after I took the first step. Frank looked confused but didn’t question it as he walked back into the house, leading us to his room. I could feel my chest tightening, it was getting harder to breathe.

“We’ll be out in a minute babe.” Frank said to Gee on our way through, and I felt another wave of guilt crash through me. Once we were in the room Mikey locked the door and Frank sat on the bed. I stood off to the side, biting my thumb nail nervously and waiting for someone to speak. It looked like Frank was about to say something, but the words that left Mikey’s mouth were obviously the last ones he was expecting.

“Radke is back.” Mikey said, not really knowing how else to say it.

“Are you sure? How do you know? Did you see him? What the hell does this have to do with Ashton?” Frank asked, not giving enough time to answer between each question.

“I saw him when I went to pick up Ash. Yeah, I’m sure. He looks exactly the same; same cocky smile and everything. He fucking asked about Gee.” Mikey said, and I could see the anger growing again as well as Frank’s hand ball into a fist.

“He better stay the fuck away this time. Why the fuck was he there?” Frank asked looking between the two of us. I saw Mikey motion to me and I knew he would make me explain, even if it was the last thing I wanted to do right now. _They’re going to know something happened._

“I only met him today, I didn’t realize who he was. If I knew, I swear I would have texted you guys or something.” I said, rambling because I was nervous.

“How the fuck did you meet him Ashton?” Frank asked, sounding pissed.

“I, he.” I started, taking a deep breath before I continued. “Luke said that Michael wanted to try to make things right, so I agreed to give him a chance as long as they were both there. He was there because of Michael.”

“Did he hurt you? Did either of them hurt you? How the hell does Michael know him?” Frank said, looking me over to make sure I wasn’t hurt as I shook my head.

“No, no, neither of them hurt me. Um, actually Michael apologized. Uh, Ronnie is Michael’s cousin, I guess.” I said, going back to biting my nail. I was getting paranoid that they would know I did something with Ronnie. _Why did I think coming here would be a good idea? Someone would find out, and everyone would be pissed. I couldn’t even tell Ryan because he would be upset that I fooled around with someone related to Michael, not to mention he might tell one of the others._ I realized that they had said something when suddenly Frank’s face was in my own. When I looked around, I noticed that I had sunk to the ground, my back against the wall.

“Ashton? Answer me, are you okay? Did something happen?” Frank didn’t even sound pissed anymore, he sounded worried. _Everything is happening too fast. Why is the room spinning?_

“I’m sorry, I just, I’ll be right back.” I ran to the bathroom, locking myself in as I tried to calm my breathing. I needed to throw up, things were always better after I threw up. I leaned over the toilet, forcing my fingers down my throat until I felt everything start making its way back up. A few minutes later I heard voices at the door, though it took me a few minutes to be able to process them.

“Babe? Are you okay?” Ryan asked, sounding terrified.

“Open the door Angel, let us in.” Mikey added, sounding just as worried.

“Babe, what the hell happened? He comes here, talks to you for a few minutes, then starts getting sick.” I heard Gee say, I couldn’t make out what Frank said back because I was throwing up again. Once I had thrown up everything, and there was only bile left, I flushed it down and faced the mirror. I couldn’t bear to look at myself in the mirror, instead avoiding looking as I swished some mouthwash and splashed some water in my face. _I’m nothing but a fat, ugly whore._ I pushed down the anxiety as I opened the door back up, immediately finding my arms filled with Ryan and then Mikey. Gerard stood back looking worried, while Frank looked like he was trying to figure something out.

“I’m sorry, I guess I had a bit too much to drink today, especially after getting drunk last night.” I said in excuse, hoping no one would question me. “I should get some water or something.” I said, walking towards the kitchen.

“Did something happen?” I heard Frank ask from behind me as I was filling a glass with water; startling me and almost making me drop it.

“No, of course not. Like I said, I just had too much to drink. That mixed with everything going on, and finding new things out, I just got a little overloaded.” I said, forcing myself not to flinch away when he wrapped his arms around me, his hands settling near my stomach. _I wonder if he sees how much weight I’ve gained? Would he get disgusted?_ I forced myself to swallow the water, trying to stop my thoughts.

“I won’t hate you if something did happen, you didn’t know. Did he try something? Is that what’s getting to you?” I tried focusing on his words, but all I could really focus on was where his hands were laying. _He would hate me, they could never know._

“No, I’m fine, just don’t feel so great.” I said, pulling away from him and finally feeling like I could breathe again. I finished my water and set the cup down before continuing. “I just need to relax for a little while.” I said, not waiting for a response as I walked back out to the living room, sitting between Pete and Ryan. I listened to the hum of the conversation, unable to focus on any of the actual words. I soon found myself laying my head in Pete’s lap, letting him play with my hair as he talked with Patrick. Ryan had my legs in his lap and was holding my hand with one of his, the other slowly stroking my leg as he talked with Brendon. We stayed that way until we all headed home for the night.

I had settled into bed, almost asleep, when I heard my phone go off. After reaching blindly for a moment I finally found it and opened the new text.

**From Unknown:** Can’t wait to see you tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to let me know what you think, it means a lot.


	39. Semi-Charmed

** Ashton’s POV **

I tossed and turned for most of the night, it was obvious how he had gotten my number; I had never changed it after everything with Michael, I thought it was an unnecessary hassle. _I would just have to tell him it was a one-time thing, it was a mistake that could never be repeated._ I decided to finally pull myself out of bed to start getting ready for the day; I didn’t really have much planned for the day, so I could dress comfortably. After brushing my teeth and fixing my hair I went into my closet to find clothes. When I came across my workout clothes I decided to pull them on and go for a quick jog. I debated texting Zack, but ultimately decided against it, I just needed to be alone for a little while.

I wound up being gone longer than expected, and when I came back I noticed Ronnie walking towards the house. He was close enough that I couldn’t just pretend I didn’t see him and ignore him, he knew I noticed him. I let him in immediately, I just wanted to get this over with and try to avoid anyone seeing him come to my house.

“Looking good babe.” Ronnie started, stepping closer and placing his hands on my hips. “How about I help you get out of those sweaty clothes.” He licked his lips and looked me over once he was done speaking. I stepped back, out of his grip; I couldn’t fall into this again.

“Look, yesterday was a mistake. It shouldn’t have happened, and it can’t happen again.” I said before walking towards the kitchen to grab a much-needed bottle of water after my run.

“Is this about Michael? Because babe, I can guarantee that I can keep it quiet from him.” He said, following me into the kitchen and leaning against the counter, watching me.

“It’s not only him, it’s other things too. What happened yesterday, it cannot happen again.” I said. Taking a drink from my water, I didn’t notice him move away from the counter until it was too late, I was trapped against the fridge as the bottle dropped.

“This is about your friend that picked you up yesterday then? Mikey Way?” He asked, not even giving me a chance to speak before he continued, one of his hands trailing down my side. “Or maybe his older brother? I’m sure the two of them would just love to know how quick you were to spread your legs for me.” _They couldn’t know, I couldn’t let him tell them._ He leaned in closer as he continued speaking. “It was even faster than he did, though I do have to say he was definitely better. Maybe I should go see how he’s doing.” I saw Gerard’s smiling, carefree face flash in my mind and knew I couldn’t ever let him anywhere near him again.

“Don’t.” I said, it was the first word that came to mind before I added another. “Please.” He smirked, leaning in so our lips were almost touching.

“You gonna be a good little whore for me then?” He asked, and I nodded. “Gonna do what I say? When I say it?” I nodded again, trying to ignore the rising panic. “Stop being a little bitch then and kiss me.” I leaned forward, connecting our lips, ignoring every part of me that was telling me that I shouldn’t be doing this. “Now show me to your room, I want to fuck you in your own bed.” He said when he finally pulled back. I looked down and nodded, not trusting my voice at the moment, before leading the way. _The quicker we start, the quicker I can get this over with._ I pulled off my shirt, tossing it to the side as I sat on the bed, looking up at him.

“I brought you a little something babe, just to show you that I’m not as awful a person as some people like to make me out to be.” He said pulling out a small baggy of what looked like coke. “Why don’t you get out your supplies.” I reached into my nightstand and pulled out a piece of glass, a straw, and a razor, before handing them to him as he sat next to me. As he cut out the lines he continued speaking. “Now just a heads up, this is a little stronger than coke.” Looking at it now, I could see it looked somewhat different. He sniffed up his line before handing the glass to me. I sniffed mine up, not expecting the all-encompassing burn that it sent to my head.

“Fuck.” I screamed. He must have expected it though because he caught the supplies before I could drop them, putting them off to the side.

“Don’t worry babe, the burn goes away, and you won’t have to worry about that annoying drip like with coke. Plus, I think you’ll enjoy this a lot more, I know I do.” He said. I focused on his words to ignore thinking about the burn until it faded. “Better now?” I nodded, letting him lean in to kiss me. Kissing him back, I found my hands in his hair as I tried to figure out my racing thoughts. My main thoughts now centered around how Ronnie was making me feel in this moment, as well as how good he had made me feel yesterday. I leaned back so I was laying down, pulling him with me, never separating our lips.

I didn’t know when he had lost his own shirt, I really hadn’t even noticed it was gone until he pulled back to start pulling off my pants. As he went to toss them aside, they started ringing. He pulled my phone out of the pocket looking at the screen before looking to me with a raised eyebrow. “This a boyfriend? Naughty, naughty.” I looked over at the screen to see the picture of me and Ryan kissing, the caller ID saying Ry <3.

“Let it.” I didn’t get a chance to finish what I was saying as he answered and placed the phone against my ear. “Hey Ry.” I said taking the phone and starting to sit up, not expecting him to push me back down.

“Hey babe, what are you up to? Are you feeling any better?” he asked. _I love when he called me just to check in._

“I’m feeling a little better. I went for a run earlier, now I’m just laying down.” I said, trying to focus fully on my conversation, even as I felt Ronnie’s hands trail up my thighs.

“I still don’t understand how someone can enjoy running.” Ryan said with a laugh. “But I bet that’s how you got such a great ass, huh?” I couldn’t help the little giggle that came out of my mouth. Ronnie’s hands had finally pulled away, and though I was a little confused, I relaxed knowing that I could finish this conversation in peace.

“Probably, though I’d say the poll is still out on how great it actually is.” I said before I felt two fingers enter me and I had to bite my hand to avoid saying anything.

“I’d say the votes have definitely been cast in your favor babe.” He said something else, but all I could focus on was Ronnie’s hands.

“Shit.” I said, before continuing so he wouldn’t question it. “What did you say babe?”

“Are you sure you’re okay Ash?” Ryan asked, taking a second and lowering his voice. “Wait are you high right now?” _I don’t know how he could tell over the phone, but at least that’s all he thought was happening right now._

“Uh, yeah, sorry. I needed something, and I feel a lot better now.” I said, arching my back and biting my lip as Ronnie hit a particular spot inside me.

“Do you need any of us to come over babe? I know you get really touchy when you get high.” Ryan asked. I looked at Ronnie who now had his own pants off, about to push in. _I couldn’t let any of them know he was here, or that any of this was happening._

“No, I’m fine.” I started, pausing to bite into my hand as he pushed in to keep quiet. “If anything changes, I’ll let you know.” I could feel him set a steady rhythm immediately.

“Okay then.” Ryan started, pausing for a minute before continuing. “Hey, can I call you back? Brendon is calling.” _Thank god I didn’t need to try to come up with a reason to hang up. I knew I had time, they could talk for hours._

“Of course babe, tell him I said hi, I’ll talk to you later.” I said, hanging up and throwing the phone to the side.

“Fuck you.” I said to Ronnie as he smirked. “He could have heard something.”

“I’m already doing that babe.” He said, giving a particularly hard thrust to accentuate his point. “It’s a good thing you’re so good at keeping quiet then, huh?” He leaned down, kissing me as he sped up and started jerking me off. “Come for me babe.” He said against my lips before returning to the kiss. It wasn’t long before we both came, and he rolled off of me and to the side. “Thanks babe, that was good, can’t wait to do it again.” I stared up at the ceiling for a while. _How did I let this happen again? No one can ever find out. Everyone would be pissed, they probably would never talk to me again._ I looked over at Ronnie for a second, before I could look away he looked back at me.

“You’re definitely one of my prettier fucks.” He said, and I felt a wave of annoyance wash over me. I got up, rolling my eyes as I ignored whatever else he said, deciding to wash up instead. By the time I made it back to my room he had sat up and pulled his pants back on, so I did the same. “I don’t appreciate being ignored, I was giving you a compliment.” He said.

“By calling me _one of your prettier fucks_?” I asked, not caring how annoyed I sounded. He got up, walking over to me before he spoke.

“What? Would you have preferred if I called you one of the hotter whores I’ve fucked?” He started, and I could feel my anger spiking until he spoke his next words and I remembered why I was doing this. “Because I think you know exactly what kind of whore I usually fuck.” _Gerard isn’t a whore, no matter what Ronnie says._ “Now what do you say we do another line?” I nodded, and he smirked. “That’s what I thought. We’re gonna do these ones a little differently though.”

I was confused as to what he meant, especially when he started cutting them out like regular lines on the glass. “Ready babe?” he asked, I nodded, and he handed me the straw as he leaned back against the wall, so he was slightly propped up. He moved one of the lines to his stomach, close to where his pants started, once he straightened it back out he motioned for me to do it. I looked at him confused for a second before sniffing it up, immediately feeling the burn take over again. “Lick up the rest now.” He said pulling my head down. I did as he said, licking where it had been. “My turn now, lay back.” He said. Repeating the same thing he had done to himself across my collar bone. Once he had done the line, he licked across where the line had been, and I shivered.

“I have to go now, why don’t you keep the rest of that for being such a good little slut for me.” He said, pulling me in for rough kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to let me know what you think, it really means a lot.


	40. Darkness

** Ashton’s POV **

Sunday went approximately the same way Saturday had; hooking up with Ronnie and getting high. Ronnie had brought more over and left quite a bit more than he had before when he left along with a bag pills. He had told me he would be back next weekend, and to try to make it last. _I figured it would be no problem._

It was now Monday, I hadn’t slept at all in the last couple days and hadn’t eaten either; I just hadn’t thought to. Pete had given me his lyrics to look over before first period, but it hadn’t been until we were leaving health class and going to lunch that I had a chance to actually speak to him about them. “These are amazing Pete.” I said as I handed the notebook back to him. “They’re about him right?”

“Uh, yeah.” He said, scratching the back of his neck nervously. “I wanted to write something that showed him how I felt, instead of just telling him. I just kind of realized that Zack is never really around when it’s something Patrick wants to do, you know?” Now that I thought about it, I realized Pete was right and I nodded. _It’s crazy the type of things you can pick up on when no one realizes you’re paying attention._

“He’s going to love it.” I said with a smile and kissed his cheek.

“Who’s going to love what?” Patrick asked, and we both whipped our heads over to see him and Zack just getting to the table. _Hopefully they didn’t hear anything else._

“Nothing, don’t worry about it.” Pete said, and I saw Patrick look a little hurt before Pete turned his attention back to me. “Let’s go get our lunch.”

“I’m good, not really hungry today.” I said, giving him a smile that he quickly returned.

“Zacky, can you grab my lunch for me?” Patrick asked in a tone that I had heard him use to ask Pete to do similar things before. I saw Pete tense slightly before he started walking over to the line.

“Sure babe.” Zack answered, giving Patrick a quick kiss before joining Pete.

“Okay, what’s up with you and Pete?” Patrick asked as soon as they had both left and were out of earshot.

“What are you talking about? We’re friends.” I answered, I didn’t think anything was really different between us.

“I thought we were friends too, but now he’s keeping things from me?” Patrick said looking hurt as he glanced over to where Pete and Zack were standing.

“He’s not keeping anything from you.” I said. _Other than the fact that he has feelings for him._

“Yes he is, but apparently not you. He likes you more than me now.” He said, pouting. _That is so far from the truth, it’s not even funny._

“I can guarantee that’s not the case Pat.” I didn’t really know what to say to assure him of that, but I didn’t get a chance as my vision was suddenly cut off by hands covering my eyes.

“Guess who.” Brendon asked from behind me.

“Brendon?” I asked, confused. He had never done this, this was a Ryan thing. I felt him lean my head back and connect his lips to mine and I immediately recognized Ryan’s kissing and kissed back, groaning when he pulled away, leaving my eyes covered. _If he was gonna tease me like that, then I had to tease him._

“Brendon, you can’t just kiss me like that in the middle of the cafeteria. Ryan might get jealous.” I said, fighting to keep the smile from my face as I heard Brendon struggling not to laugh. “We should go to an empty classroom or something before he gets here.” I heard Brendon lose his struggle and start laughing. I was completely surprised by Mikey laughing too, I hadn’t realized he had joined us yet.

“Harsh, angel, just harsh.” Mikey said, and I smiled a little until Ryan uncovered my eyes, coming into my line of view and looking hurt.

“What the hell babe?” Ryan asked. “I’d hope that you wouldn’t keep that a secret from me.”

“Oh my god, Ryan? When did you get here?” I said, pretending to be shocked. “Brendon, you should know better. You could have warned me he was coming.”

“Wait, you’re fucking with me, aren’t you?” Ryan asked, and I smiled.

“Obviously Ry, I’ll always know your kisses.” I said, pulling him into a kiss to prove my point. I hadn’t realized how heated it had turned until I heard someone clear their throat, which I chose to ignore.

“Uh, Ash.” I heard Brendon say quietly, but I chose to ignore him as well.

“Can we help you?” Pete asked, and I vaguely wondered when he had gotten back and who he was talking to.

“Um, we needed to talk to Ashton.” I heard Cal say awkwardly as I felt someone pull me back from Ryan roughly. “Luke, chill out.” Calum added, sounding fed up. Luke was about to say something until I spoke up.

“Seriously Luke? What the fuck? We were just kissing, maybe I should go over and pull you off of.” Calum cut me off before I could finish what I was saying.

“Okay, I think we all get what you’re trying to say.” Calum said, though Luke was still glaring at Ryan.

“Great, we’re all in agreement now. Ashton can kiss whoever he damn well pleases, and Luke will keep his mouth shut.” Pete said, not taking his eyes off Michael who was behind Calum. “What I want to know is why the fuck _he_ thought it was okay to come over here.”

“I apologized.” Michael said before getting cut off.

“Yeah, I don’t know if an apology really cuts it after everything you put him through.” Dallon said, and I decided I should stop this before it got too out of hand.

“Okay, now that you have my attention, what do you want?” I said, having my best bitch face on.

“Well first off, I want you and.” Luke started before I cut him off.

“No one cares what you want right now Luke.” I said, giving him a look before turning to the other two. “Obviously you guys wanted something, what was it?” That seemed to get their attention away from Pete and Dallon who were both glaring down Michael.

“Okay, well uh, first off.” Michael started before Calum elbowed him to get him to just say whatever he was saying. “I guess I should say sorry again, this time to the rest of you guys for how I acted before. I have some problems, and I’m getting the help I need now.” Calum and Luke both looked at him in confusion, apparently that wasn’t the reason they were over here. Everyone stayed silent until Mikey finally broke the silence.

“Thanks, it still doesn’t excuse shit though. And we better not hear shit about you pulling anything else, or so help me god.” Mikey said, the threat clear in his voice.

“You won’t, I promise.” Michael said before turning his look to me. “Ronnie had to head home this morning, he said it sucked that you were sick and couldn’t hang out with us more.” I saw Mikey’s jaw tense out of the corner of my eye and immediately regretted not pulling this conversation elsewhere, especially with Michael’s next words. “Apparently he’s able to come out next weekend too and asked if you’d be hanging out with us.” I didn’t even get a chance to speak before Mikey started.

“Absolutely not, he’s not going to be.” I cut Mikey off before he could continue.

“The talent show is Friday night, so I won’t be able to then. We’ll see about the rest of the weekend.” I said, ignoring the look I knew Mikey was sending me, instead focusing on the smile that Michael gave me. It was the smile that he used to give me all the time, the smile that made me like him in the first place.

“Awesome, thanks Ash.” Michael said, the smile never leaving his face. “We’ll see you later.” He added as they all left.

“No.” Was all Mikey said to me once they had left.

“Mikey.” I started, before he cut me off.

“Absolutely not.” Mikey said, really starting to annoy me.

“All I said is that we would see. That doesn’t mean yes or no.” I started when Mikey went to say something, and I cut him off with a look. “I’m not stupid, so stop acting like it. I make my own decisions and deal with whatever consequences may come about for those decisions. So stop trying to control me, it’s not cute when _you_ do it.” I finished, finally deciding to get up and leave.

“Did anyone else find that extremely hot?” Dallon asked, but I didn’t stick around to hear anyone’s replies. I went to the locker room to change, I needed to run for a little while, even if that meant skipping a class or two. _Why the hell does Mikey have to be like that sometimes?_ I was pulled out of my thoughts as I was pulling off my shirt by the door opening behind me.

“No, I don’t want to fuck out my frustrations.” I said, assuming it was someone from our table. I heard a laugh behind me and turned around to see Zack pulling his own shirt off.

“I wasn’t planning on that. Ryan said you were probably going for a run, so I decided to join you, so you didn’t have to go alone. I only have a study hall after lunch anyway.” I smiled as I pulled my other shirt on.

“Thanks, I appreciate it.” I said, trying not to check him out as he pulled his new shirt on. “Ready?” When he nodded, we headed out to the track. We had been running mostly in silence, other than a few words here and there for almost two miles. My vision started tunneling and I slowed almost to a stop when suddenly it all went black, the last thing I heard was Zack screaming my name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to let me know what you think, it really means a lot.


	41. Excuses

** Ashton’s POV **

When I woke up, it was to being surrounded by people and feeling claustrophobic. It took me a few moments to realize it was Zack, Patrick, Pete, Ryan, Brendon, Mikey, Gerard, and Frank. “What the hell happened?” I asked, looking over to Zack who had been the only one with me. I felt generally sore and my head was pounding.

“Well we were running, and you started slowing down. I did too to see if you were alright, then you just kind of collapsed. I didn’t know what to do so I called Pat, and he got ahold of everyone else.” Zack explained.

“Actually, I didn’t know what to do, so I only got ahold of Pete. He’s the one that got ahold of Mikey and Ryan. Then Ryan got Brendon, and Mikey got Gerard and Frank.” Patrick admitted, looking over at Pete. “After that, I think, is when someone actually messaged the group chat.”

“Okay, well I need some Tylenol or something.” I said, pulling myself up so I was sitting. I looked around and realized we were in Frank’s living room. Gerard walked away, returning a minute later with a glass of water and some Tylenol. When I reached for it, I realized my hand was shaking. “How long was I out for?”

“A few hours.” Ryan said taking my hand and pressing a kiss to my head. “Nothing to worry about.”

“Since when is almost twenty-four hours nothing to worry about?” I heard Pete mutter before getting elbowed by Brendon.

“Twenty-four hours?” I asked, shocked. _That explains the shakiness, I haven’t done anything in over a day._ I felt compelled to reach for my bag, but I also knew that everyone around me would ask questions. “Shit. I should get home.” I said already pushing myself up from the couch.

“I don’t think so, you need to lay back down. You are in no shape to be moving, let alone driving.” Frank said, making my annoyance spike. _I just wanted to get the hell out so that I could get high again._

“Then I’ll call someone to bring me home, I’m fine.” I said, fighting the wave of nausea that hit as I tried to walk.

“Sit back down Ashton.” Frank ordered, pissing me off. “You’ll sleep here, you can go home tomorrow.”

“Shut up Frank.” I said, annoyed at everything. “You’re not my real mom.” I snapped. _If he wanted to act like a mother I’d throw it in his face._ I started losing the fight with my nausea and ran for the bathroom.

“If he had a kid, I think I’d know. And you certainly wouldn’t be acting the way he is now.” Gerard called after me.

“Babe, if I was his mom, I wouldn’t have a dick.” Frank added. I couldn’t hear what else was said over the sound of me throwing up. I felt a hand rubbing my back and I looked up to see Mikey before getting sick again.

“Are you okay?” he asked, and I nodded before I felt more bile coming up, though nothing more actually came out. _I need to tell him something. I know I can trust him, but I can’t tell him about Ronnie._

“I think I just crashed Mikey.” I said low enough that he was the only one to hear.

“Shit, I hate when that happens. Hold on, we’ll fix you up.” He said, still rubbing my back before calling out to the other room. “Frank, can you come here for a second?”

“Mikey, it’s fine, I just need my bag.” I said, making him look at me before turning back towards the door that Frank was now standing.

“I’m gonna help him to my room, can you bring his bag in?” Mikey asked him, and he nodded before walking back out. “Ready?” he asked me. Once I nodded he helped me up, allowing me to flush the toilet and rinse my mouth out before we went to his room where my bag was already on the bed. I sat on the bed and started going through my bag, pulling out the box I kept at the bottom. I went through it twice before remembering that I left the bag at my house. _Maybe coke would at least take the edge off. Maybe I should take a couple pills too._ I cut out a couple lines, doing one then handing the other one to Mikey.

“Can you please get me some water?” I asked. He nodded, going out and returning less than a minute later with a bottle. I pulled out a couple of the pills that Ronnie had given me, tossing them in my mouth before washing them down with water.

“Where did you get those?” Mikey asked, catching me off guard.

“What?” I asked, trying to stall so I could come up with an answer.

“Frank doesn’t sell those. There’s not much he doesn’t sell, but I don’t recognize those.” Mikey said. _That explains his confusion._

“Oh, I got them from some guy I met at a party.” I said, hoping he wouldn’t question it.

“So you weren’t really sick all weekend I take it?” he asked with a small smile and I nodded. “Just be careful, we know Frank’s stuff isn’t laced with anything extra, that’s not always the case with other people though.” _He’s only looking out for me._

“I understand, pretty sure I’d already be dead if this guy’s stuff was laced though.” I said jokingly, even if I was completely serious. I put the box back in my bag and pulled out my phone, realizing it was dead. “Shit, Mikey, can I borrow your charger?” I asked. He nodded and pointed to where it was plugged in. “Thanks.” I said once it was charging. I knew it would power up once it had enough of a charge. I was feeling a little better, if not completely back to before. “We should go back out, before they start worrying.”

“You sure you’re fine now?” he asked. When I nodded he started walking back out, with me following behind.

“You look a little better.” Gee said once we were back in the living room.

“Thanks, I feel a little better.” I said, distracted as I noticed everyone else had left other than Frank.

“They had to go back to school, they only came during lunch. Mikey refused to go in today though, that’s why he’s still around.” Frank said, figuring out my unasked question. “Do you need to talk to us about anything? Last week you were drinking so much you got sick. Now you crashed so hard that you were throwing up. Not to mention whatever made you collapse. You know, we’re here if you need us.”

“I’m fine, I just had a bit of a busy weekend.” I said, quietly.

“He went to some party and got pills from someone there.” Mikey said, causing Frank to raise his eyebrow and look at me waiting for an explanation.

“Thanks Mikey, you can go get my bag now, so I can show Frank that I’m fine.” I said, sticking my tongue out at him. Mikey went to his room, returning a moment later without the bag, causing me to give him a confused look.

“Your phone was ringing, but I know you just plugged it in. I think Michael was calling, so I figured you should call him back immediately. If he’s calling during school it might be about Luke.” Mikey said. _Michael never calls me anymore, why would he now._ I walked back in the room and picked up my phone, going to the missed call log and saw one missed call from dickhead. _That explains why Mikey thought it was him._ I immediately hit redial and brought the phone to my ear.

“Hello Ashton, I thought you might be trying to back out of our little deal when you ignored my call last night and then again a little while ago.” Ronnie said once he answered the phone.

“Of course not.” I said, making sure to stay quiet enough that they wouldn’t be able to hear me in the other room. “I didn’t ignore your calls.” I decided I needed to be truthful. _Maybe if I was, he wouldn’t be pissed._ “I crashed yesterday, that’s why I couldn’t answer last night.”

“And what about today?” he asked, not sounding impressed.

“I never plugged my phone in, so it was dead. When you called it was charging in the other room.” I said, hoping he wouldn’t be upset.

“I told you to be careful with that, didn’t I babe?” he asked, his voice teasing now.

“I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that the crash would be so bad, or that I had done enough to lead to that point.” I said, causing him to laugh. I was about to say something else when I heard a knock on the door. “Shit hold on one second.” I said before yelling for the person at the door to come in.

“Fine, but don’t keep me waiting too long babe.” I heard him say as Frank walked in. Shit, this wasn’t good.

“I need to call you back.” I said quickly into the phone.

“Don’t you dare hang up on me slut.” Ronnie threatened, the teasing tone now gone.

“I am sure that everything will be fine Michael. I have to go though, Frank just reminded me that we were having an important discussion before you called.” I said, trying to let Ronnie know that I really did need to hang up.

“I’m sure he can wait for our conversation to be over.” He started, before I did something I knew I’d regret.

“Okay, yeah, I’ll call you back in a little while Michael.” I said, ending the call and putting my phone back where it had been sitting.

“Is everything okay?” Frank asked, sounding worried.

“He was just checking in on me since I didn’t go to school.” I said. _I couldn’t tell him the truth._

“Okay, so what are these pills?” Frank asked. I pulled my box back out and pulled out the bag of pills, he looked at them for a few seconds before looking back at me. “You got these at a party?”

“Yeah, I went to a party this weekend and got them off of someone there.” I said, trying not to show my discomfort.

“Did you go to this party with Michael and/or Ronnie?” he asked, making me more uncomfortable. _How the hell did he know that Ronnie was involved?_ I nodded, looking at my hands, not wanting to meet Frank’s eyes. “What the fuck Ashton? You told me that nothing happened. You made it seem like you didn’t want anything to do with him. Which you shouldn’t, he’s bad fucking news.” I cut him off, feeling everything starting to be too much already.

“How did you even know?” I asked the only question on my mind right now as I locked everything back up.

“Because Gee was hooked on these when he was dating that prick, if you were smart you’d get rid of them now.” Frank said. When I didn’t immediately start talking he continued his rant. “Now, don’t fucking change the topic. Are you fucking stupid? Or do you just enjoy getting the shit beat out of you?” _That was the breaking point._

“Fuck you Frank.” I said, throwing my bag over my shoulder and grabbing my phone before walking out.

“What’s wrong?” Gerard asked, confused. I started pulling my shoes, choosing to ignore him.

“Angel?” Mikey asked, sounding worried. I opened the door, already pulling out my phone.

“Ask that asshole.” I said, motioning towards Frank and slamming the door. I clicked call once I found the number I was looking for and raised the phone to my ear.

“I need to get out of here, can you come pick me up?” I asked once they answered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to let me know what you think, it really means a lot.


	42. I'll Be Alright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry about the wait, but I come with the good news that I have finished writing the rest of the chapters. 
> 
> I have also been working on a huge project as well. What is this project? 
> 
> I have decided to rework this story into an original novel. I am reworking the whole thing. I will still finish posting the chapters here, but will probably not be posting the planned sequel here.
> 
> It would mean the world to me if you could come to show your support on my pages. It will also keep you up to date on what is going on with everything, including any potential future works.
> 
> Facebook Page:  
> https://www.facebook.com/RileyRoycex3/
> 
> Instagram Link:  
> https://www.instagram.com/riley.roycex3/
> 
> Twitter Link:  
> https://twitter.com/RileyRoycex3

** Ashton’s POV **

“I need to get out of here, can you come pick me up?” I asked once they answered.

“You hung up on me slut.” Ronnie said, sounding pissed.

“I know, I’m sorry. I didn’t have a choice.” I explained as I walked towards my house.

“Don’t ever fucking hang up on me again, got it?” he asked, not sounding impressed.

“Yes, I got it.” I said, feeling stressed. “Please, I just really need to get away. Can you please come pick me up?”

“Where are you?” Is all he asked.

“I just left Frank’s, I’m walking towards my house.” I said looking around to see where exactly I was.

“That’s quite a walk though, isn’t it?” he asked, sounding amused.

“Which is part of the reason I’m calling you.” I snapped before calming myself down a little. “Look, can you pick me up or not?”

“You’re lucky I’m in town visiting some old friends of mine, I’ll be there in a few minutes. Just keep walking, I’ll find you.” He answered before saying something I couldn’t quite make out to someone else.

“Thank you.” I said, hanging up and putting my phone back in my pocket. I walked another block before turning a corner and walking a couple more when a black car with tinted windows pulled up next to me.

“You know, your ass looks great when you walk.” Ronnie called out to me once he had rolled down his window. “Get in.” I walked around to the other side and got in, putting my bag in the back.

“Thank you again.” I said as I buckled my seatbelt.

“I think we can both think of a better way you can thank me.” He started before looking me over and changing his tone. “You look horrible, that must have been one hell of a crash.”

“It was, and I left that at my house, so I couldn’t even do any when I got up. I took a couple pills, but they’re not helping much.” I said, staring out the window.

“Yeah, they wouldn’t. They’re too different. Don’t worry though, I’ve got more.” He said, pulling out a bag and showing it to me before putting it back in his jacket pocket. He looked me over again before continuing. “When’s the last time you ate?”

“I don’t know.” I answered honestly.

“You don’t know?” He asked skeptically.

“I don’t know. Friday, I think.” I said, anxiously playing with my fingers.

“You think? Babe, especially with this you have to be more careful. You need to make sure you eat.” He said, changing the route he was driving.

“It’s fine, really, I just.” I started before he cut me off.

“Shut up. We’re stopping somewhere for lunch, then we can do some.” He said in a tone that left no room for argument. We drove a little while longer before he pulled into a parking lot for a diner and parked. “Let’s go.” He said, leading me in. Once we were sat at a table he ordered us both a cheeseburger and fries with a coke.

“What if that’s not what I wanted?” I asked once the waitress had walked away.

“I’ve eaten here before, it’s good. But moreover, if you haven’t eaten since Friday then you need actual food.” He said. Now that his focus was fully on me, I started feeling fidgety. I didn’t get a chance to reply because the waitress returned with our drinks, setting them in front of us. She tried flirting with Ronnie, who pretty much brushed her off and I let out a little giggle; she didn’t look like she could handle him. “She’s got a nice ass, but I think yours is better.” He said once she had walked away again.

“I don’t think she could handle you.” I said truthfully.

“Most women can’t. It’s why I fuck more guys than girls, I guess.” He said. When the food came out we ate mostly in silence. I had to fight the urge to throw it up once I was done, it seemed like too much food. When the waitress brought the check, he opened it to see a folded paper with her number on it. “Do you have a pen babe?” he asked, and I searched through my pockets until I found one and handed it to him. He wrote _I’ll pass_ on the paper and left the money on the table before leading me out.

“Now, a promise is a promise.” He said as we started driving again. “Let’s find somewhere private and relax.” It wasn’t long before he was pulling into a motel and parking. “You stay here babe, I’ll go get us a room.” He said, heading inside.

When we were finally in the room, he locked the door and made sure the blinds and curtains were closed. “You ready babe?” he asked pulling the bag out, I eyed it and nodded. I pulled out my box, grabbing the supplies from inside and handing them to him. Once we were both high, I pulled him on top of me, kissing him.

An hour later I was laying my head on his chest with his arm wrapped around me as we ignored my phone ringing once again across the room. “I feel bad.” I said, the words coming out so quietly I wondered if he had even heard them.

“Go answer your phone then or call them back in a little while.” He said as he traced shapes against my skin.

“Not about that, well not completely.” I started, looking at him before I continued. “I completely overreacted earlier, with Frank. He was just trying to help, and I went off on him, I called him an asshole.”

“He can be an asshole.” He said with a laugh before pulling me in for a kiss. “I’m sure that he of all people will understand. You had just woken up from crashing, you were starting to go through withdrawal. In fact he should have known not to push you so much.” Before I could even think about what to say my phone started ringing again and I sighed. I got confused when he stood up, throwing me my phone and pulling on his pants. I put the phone up to my ear when I noticed that it had answered the call when I caught it.

“Hello?” I answered, still not quite sure what Ronnie was up to.

“I always knew I was your favorite, doll.” Jack said, and I could hear the smirk in his voice. “Though I do have to wonder why it was my call that you finally decided to answer.”

“I didn’t hear my phone go off.” I lied. Watching Ronnie as he sat back down on the bed. He leaned over to place a kiss on my shoulder before starting to cut out a couple more lines.

“He says he didn’t hear his phone going off.” I heard Jack say to someone else before there was a shuffle and a new voice came on the phone.

“Ashton, are you okay?” Frank asked, sounding worried. “Where are you?”

“I’m fine Frank.” I said, deciding to ignore his question of my location as Ronnie came up behind me and started kissing my shoulder. I leaned my head to give him better access.

“Where are you? We’ve been trying to get ahold of you. We even tried calling Luke, but he has no idea where you are.” Frank said as Ronnie brought the glass in front of me.

“I’m fine, I swear, I just needed to get away for a while. I’ll be back soon.” I said, before muting my side of the call so I could do my line as he spoke.

“Please just tell me where you are Ashton, I’ll come pick you up and we can talk.” Frank said, and I looked to Ronnie.

“He wants to pick me up.” I whispered before unmuting it. Ronnie took his keys out of his pocket, motioning towards the car now that he was fully dressed. I nodded, and he walked out of the room as silently as possible. “Look, I’m heading back to my house now.” I said to Frank as I started pulling on my own clothes. “You guys can come over in like an hour.” I added, looking around the room to make sure we had everything, noticing that Ronnie had left his bag on the nightstand. “I’ll see you guys then.” I finished and hung up, grabbing the bag and my own bag before walking out to the car.

“You ready?” he asked when I got in the car.

“Yeah, you almost forgot this.” I said holding up the bag for him.

“Nah babe, I left that for you.” He said. I didn’t know if he had anything else to say, but if he did, I didn’t let him say it as I pulled him into a kiss.

“Thank you.” I said once we pulled apart.

“No problem babe. But you do need to promise me that you’ll be more careful and take better care of yourself this time.” He said as we started the trip back to my house.

“I will.” I promised. Ten minutes later we stopped around the block from my house, deciding we didn’t want to chance anyone seeing the car at my house. I grabbed my bag from the back and got out to start my walk to my house, giving a quick wave before he pulled away.

About forty-five minutes later I was showered, my teeth were brushed, and I was dressed in new clothes. I had done another line figuring I didn’t know how long they would be here for and didn’t want to start coming down while they were. I had just put away my box when I heard the doorbell. I looked around my room, making sure I hadn’t left anything out before putting my bag in the closet and going down to open the door. Nothing could prepare me for what awaited me when I went downstairs though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to let me know what you think, it means a lot.


	43. Nothing At All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please read the note at the beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you missed the note at the beginning of the last chapter, here it is again.
> 
> I have been working on a huge project as well. What is this project?
> 
> I have decided to rework this story into an original novel. I am reworking the whole thing. I will still finish posting the chapters here, but will probably not be posting the planned sequel here.
> 
> It would mean the world to me if you could come to show your support on my pages. It will also keep you up to date on what is going on with everything, including any potential future works.
> 
> Facebook Page:  
> https://www.facebook.com/RileyRoycex3/
> 
> Instagram Link:  
> https://www.instagram.com/riley.roycex3/
> 
> Twitter Link:  
> https://twitter.com/RileyRoycex3

** Ashton’s POV **

I knew that once I opened the door I would have multiple people demanding things from me, so I went straight to the door. As I went to open the door I heard a voice behind me though that made me jump and almost scream.

“Where the hell were you Ashton?” Luke asked, sounding pissed. When I turned to look at him, I saw him standing with his arms crossed and looking just as pissed as he sounded. “Why did no one seem to know where you were? And why?” I cut Luke off before he could continue his rant.

“Luke, I’m sorry, and I’ll explain. I need to get the door though before they get more upset.” I said turning back towards the door to open it. “You know some people actually wait to be let in instead of just entering someone’s house.” I let everyone in and led them to the living room, already regretting this decision. I could already feel my anxiety rising and felt an urge to go back to my room. _Maybe I didn’t do enough._ Everyone was talking at the same time and I could barely focus because my thoughts were racing. I felt my chest tightening, it was becoming harder to breath.

“Hey, everyone, enough.” Pete suddenly yelled, walking over to me and wrapping his arms around me. “Come on Ash, breath. Listen to me, breath with me.” He said softly as he took deep even breaths.

“Excuse me, but what are you doing?” Luke asked, snippy. “We need answers.”

“He’s having an anxiety attack, he needs to focus on something to pull him out of it.” Pete explained to Luke. _I need to throw up_. I pulled away from Pete and ran to the bathroom, locking myself in before sinking to my knees and forcing myself to throw up everything in my stomach. In the living room I could hear Pete raising his voice, but I couldn’t tell what he was saying or who he was talking to. _Why is there so many people here? I just want to be alone. Everyone hates me. They would all be happier if I was gone. I should just give up._

When nothing else would come up, I forced myself to stand before flushing it down and brushing my teeth. I ignored the worried looks when I walked back out, bypassing the living room to grab a bottle of water from the fridge before returning to everyone else. “How did you know?” I asked Pete, once I realized that everyone wasn’t going to start talking again.

“Patrick used to get them all the time, it was my job to help him through them.” He said, and I nodded. I heard the words he wasn’t saying out loud. _He had liked Patrick longer than anyone had realized and had taken it upon himself to make sure he was always taken care of._ I sat next to him, resting my head on his shoulder as he stroked my back before turning to look at everyone else.

“I’m sorry I disappeared on everyone. I just needed to get away from everything for a little while. As you can all see, I’m fine.” I said, attempting to keep myself calm by breathing in Pete’s scent and focusing on his hand that was on my back.

“You could have called me. I could have left school, and we could have gone wherever you wanted to go together. We were really worried about you. You didn’t tell anyone where you were going, and you weren’t answering anyone’s calls. We thought something happened to you.” Ryan said. I could see as well as hear how upset he was. _Why do I keep disappointing him? Why can’t I just be a good boyfriend? Why can’t I do anything right?_

“I know, I’m really sorry. Everything just got to be too much for me, I wasn’t thinking.” I started explaining, though I knew no matter what I said, it would never be enough. “I promise that I wasn’t trying to scare anyone and I’m really sorry that I scared any of you.”

“Just promise us that if you ever do that again, you’ll at least answer your phone, okay?” Mikey said, coming over and hugging me. “Please.”

“I will, I promise.” I answered as I hugged him back, looking over his shoulder at Ryan who looked torn on if he wanted to cry or yell.

“Well, this is all well and good, but I’m still pissed.” Luke said, ignoring the glares from everyone else. “That was ridiculous for you to put us through all that. You’re lucky I didn’t call my parents, or yours. You used to be better than this, you used to actually care about everyone else. Now you only care about yourself, everyone else is just an afterthought.” _He’s right, why have I let myself get like this? Why am I such an idiot? Why can’t I think about how everyone else would feel?_ I pulled away from Pete and Mikey, and ran to my room, locking myself in.

“Are you fucking retarded?” I heard Pete yell. “Get the fuck out.” He paused for a second before continuing. “I don’t give a fuck if you’re his family, you’re doing a shit job of showing it right now.” I tried to ignore everything else from out there and went to my closet, grabbing my bag. I just needed to turn off my thoughts for a little while. I pulled out a few pills and the bottle of vodka, washing them down with that. Then I put the bottle on my stand and put the pills away before laying back and staring at the ceiling. A few minutes later, I heard a knock on my door.

“Leave me alone.” I called out, not caring who was on the other side.

“Come on, please let me in.” Pete said. _I couldn’t face anyone right now._

“No, just go away. I just wanna be alone.” I said back. _Where there’s no one to be disappointed in me. Where I can’t upset anyone._

“You shouldn’t be alone right now. Please just open the door.” He said, trying to open the door.

“No, I just want you all to leave.” I said, breathing a sigh of relief when I heard him walking away. _Now I can finally be alone._ I drank more from the bottle as I stared at the ceiling, not even realizing as I slowly drifted off to sleep.

I didn’t leave my bed, let alone my room for the next two days. Mostly I ignored my phone as well. I couldn’t be bothered to move, and I didn’t want to face anyone else. I finally dragged myself out of bed and to school on Friday, knowing that I needed to go if I wanted to go to the talent show that night. For the most part I was on autopilot for the day, barely contributing anything to classes or conversations. _If I can fake my way through this, then maybe no one will ask any questions. I’ve faked my way through things before, I can do it again._

Pete offered to bring me to the school for the talent show and I took the offer, what I didn’t expect was for Patrick to be sitting in the car as well. I had figured he would be driving with Zack. “Hey Pete, thanks again for giving me a ride.” I said, smiling and leaning up to kiss his cheek before turning to Patrick. “Hey Pat, where’s Zack? I thought you would have driven with him.”

“Oh, uh, he’s not coming tonight.” Patrick said, looking slightly disappointed. _Probably about the fact that his boyfriend decided not to come support him._ Pete looked over at him quickly with a smile and patted his leg.

“Don’t let him bring you down, I’m here. It’ll be just like old times, you and me.” Pete said. I watched Patrick’s face light up as he smiled and kissed Pete’s cheek, it actually made me smile as well.

“We’re going to be amazing tonight. I just really wish you would have showed us the words during practice.” Patrick teased. _I seemed to still be the only one who knows the words and I know exactly why he hadn’t shared them with Patrick yet._

“Ah, but then it would ruin the surprise.” Pete answered with a smile.

“Don’t worry, I’ll record your guys performance tonight too. That way we can show everyone who doesn’t make it tonight, what they missed.” I said, putting a smile on my face. _Pete will really appreciate getting to see the video afterwards._ “And because I’m sure you guys will also want to watch just how amazing you guys are.” When we got to the school, we went straight for the auditorium to find good seats for all of us. I looked over and noticed how anxious Pete looked. “You’re going to do great.” I said to him soft enough for only him to hear.

“I hope so, I don’t want to fuck everything up.” He answered, looking behind me where Patrick was chatting with some people.

“I don’t think you could ever fuck things up with him, that’s just not how he is. You know that better than anyone.” I said, smiling as I leaned my head on his shoulder and watched Patrick.

“You really think so?” he asked, looking down at me.

“I’m positive.” I said, looking up at him. I placed a quick kiss to his lips, that he wasted no time deepening before we were interrupted.

“Guys, the others are starting to get here.” Patrick said, sitting on Pete’s lap and pointing over to where Frank, Gee, and Mikey were entering. I smiled and waved them over, getting up when I noticed Brendon and Ryan enter behind them. I pulled Ryan in for a kiss immediately, smiling when he deepened it.

“Seriously?” I heard a familiar voice say. Without pulling away, I opened my eyes to see Luke had just entered and had been the one to speak. What did make me pull away was that he wasn’t alone; Calum, Michael, and Ronnie were with him. _Fuck, what is he doing here?_

“I’ll meet you guys over there.” I said, pointing to where our seats were. Mikey followed my gaze and stiffened for a minute before leading them over to the seats while I walked over to Luke. “Hey, what are you guys doing here?”

“I think the better question is why you have to act like that where everyone can see you.” Luke said, getting an elbow from Calum.

“Luke, I’ve told you before. We’re dating, we’re allowed to kiss. I’m fairly certain that I’ve walked in on you and Cal here doing a little more than kissing, are you two dating?” I asked innocently, making Michael start laughing and Cal look embarrassed.

“I, that.” Luke started, and I raised an eyebrow waiting for his response. “That’s not the point here, and you know it Ash.”

“I didn’t realize you guys were coming tonight.” I started, deciding to let it go. “Which leads me back to my original question, what are you guys doing here?” I asked again.

“Well I heard you were coming tonight, and we didn’t have anything planned so I suggested it.” Ronnie answered. I heard the words he left unspoken, _he wants to keep an eye on me. He wants to make sure I remember what will happen if I back out of our deal._

“Well, I’m sitting over with my friends, but I’ll come over during intermission. And maybe I’ll catch a ride home with you guys and we can watch a movie or something.” I said, hoping that Ronnie got the clue that I wasn’t backing out, but I didn’t want him near the others.

“That’s fine. We’ll sit back here and see you then.” Ronnie answered before anyone else had a chance to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to let me know what you think, it means a lot.


	44. Unpredictable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be my last update for a little while, I might have some stuff going on that will keep me from updating.
> 
> Please go back and read the last author's note if you haven't already.

Ashton’s POV

I sat back with everyone else, the thought of who else was here never quite leaving my mind. I felt Ryan reach over and take my hand, I sent him a small smile and leaned my head on his shoulder. We sat mostly in silence as the first performers started getting called up. He was chatting with Brendon and I was just breathing in his scent and enjoying the feeling of him being here with me. Soon he turned his full attention to me again.

“Babe, we’re gonna be getting called up soon.” He said. I nodded, but otherwise didn’t move, which made him laugh. “That means that we have to go get ready.” I looked up at him and pouted.

“What do you mean get ready? You look perfect, just the way you are.” I said, causing him to smile before pulling me in for a kiss. We weren’t kissing long before Bren cleared his throat, letting us know that we needed to stop so they had enough time.

“Thanks babe.” He said when we pulled apart. “We have a specific look in mind though.” He kissed my cheek as they got up to leave. I watched them walk out, getting startled when I turned back to see that Mikey had sat where Ryan just was.

“They’re super theatrical when they perform, it’s always a hell of a show. I’m a little curious as to what Pete is gonna sing though. I guess he hasn’t told anyone, hasn’t practiced the lyrics during their rehearsals even.” Mikey said. I wanted to ask what he meant about them being theatrical, but figured I’d rather tease him instead.

“They’re good, it’s going to be amazing.” I told him, smiling at the surprised look he gave me.

“You’ve seen them?” He asked, obviously wanting more detail.

“Yeah, I looked them over for him. Made sure that they flowed and everything.” I answered with a teasing smile.

“How come you didn’t say anything? What are they?” He asked, getting excited.

“I didn’t say anything because they’re a secret. A secret that will be out soon, so just be patient.” I said, thinking it over before I continued. “I will tell you however that he had specific inspiration. I’m sure you’ll be able to figure out what it was when they start.” Mikey pouted slightly before noticing something behind me.

“He’s staring at you.” He said, confusing me. I looked behind me, where he was looking, to see Ronnie staring at me. I gave him a look, trying to tell him to stop staring before someone else noticed.

“Ignore him.” I said, turning Mikey’s face back to me.

“It’s weird, why is he staring at you?” he asked, sounding annoyed.

“It’s nothing, he just tried hitting on me when we first met. He probably is just weirded out seeing me with you guys.” I said, trying to pacify him. Luckily I didn’t have to try to distract him any further because the speaker came out to introduce Brendon and Ryan. I pulled out my phone, setting it up to record as they walked out, and I almost dropped my phone in awe. Gone was his normal casual look, he had on a loose-fitting white button up shirt with a fitted red vest over top. He also had drawn intricate designs stemming from his eyes.

“You might wanna pick up your jaw angel.” Mikey teased. “They do look good though.” Ryan stepped up to the microphone and Mikey spoke again. “I thought Bren was singing.”

“Hello everyone, my name is Ryan. This is a song that I wrote for a very special someone, I hope you all like it.” I smiled and double checked the positioning as Ryan motioned for Brendon to step up.

“This ought to be good.” Mikey said as they started.

“Is it still me that makes you sweat? Am I who you think about in bed?” Brendon started singing and I felt my face heat up. I thought maybe as the song went on it would become less sexual, but that was far from the case. When it was over I ended the recording.

“I can’t believe he actually did it.” Mikey said, making me whip my head to look over at him.

“You knew he was going to do that?” I asked.

“I knew the gist of it. Shit, your cousin just stormed out, we should go.” Mikey said, already standing and leading me out. When we found him, he already had Ryan against the wall.

“What the fuck was that?” Luke yelled. I ran over, pulling Luke off and stepping between them.

“The real question is what the fuck was that?” I said getting in his face. “How many times do I have to fucking tell you that we’re dating? So what if he writes a song that you don’t like about me?” I continued not realizing that Calum, Michael, and Ronnie had followed him out as well.

“I have to.” Luke started before I cut him off.

“The only thing you need to do is back off. You didn’t care what happened with Michael, and what he put me through. So why do you hate someone that actually treats me well? I’m not that little boy that you need to protect anymore Luke, I can take care of myself.” I said.

“I just want to be able to help.” Luke said. I rolled my eyes, noticing the guys standing back and watching, Michael looked guilty.

“I think you’ve seen just how well I have that taken care of as well. If you need a refresher then go talk to them.” I started, motioning towards the guys before lowering my voice. “Or if you’d rather I can go get Frank right now, I’m sure he’d love to hear how you’re treating a friend of his.” Before he had a chance to respond I took Ryan’s hand and led him outside.

“God that was so fucking hot.” Ryan said, pulling me in for a heated kiss.

“You were so hot up on stage too babe.” I said. “I mean, when you came out. I almost pulled you off that stage.” I added before connecting our lips again.

“We should maybe go back in.” Ryan said a few minutes later, though neither of us wanted to stop what we were doing.

“We really should.” I said, finally pulling away. I stared at him for a minute before speaking again. “God Ry, you really do look amazing right now. If I didn’t already promise Pete that I’d record and help with something after, I would tell you to take me home right now.”

“What are you helping him with?” He asked with a small smile.

“Just a little something, nothing for you to worry about.” I said, kissing his cheek.

“Are you hooking up with him again?” He asked.

“Of course not, if I was I would have said I was.” I said, leading him back towards the auditorium. “Come on, we should get back to the others before intermission. I need to talk to Luke during it and would really like to not have to go do that as soon as we get back in there.”

“I’m pulling you away if I notice it getting physical.” Ryan said as we walked back in, finding our seats.

“Babe, I can handle myself if it winds up getting physical.” I said, squeezing his hand to reassure him.

“I know that.” He said, leaning closer until he could whisper in my ear as his other hand ran along my thigh. “The question is, would you be able to handle me?” I bit my lip, pulling him in for another kiss.

“Guys, they just announced intermission.” Brendon said, interrupting us and I pulled away.

“Thanks Bren, I’ll be back you guys.” I said, standing up to walk to the back where the others sat. _Luke does not look happy. That’s fine, I’m not happy either._

“You guys look happy together.” Ronnie commented as I joined them.

“We are.” I said, smiling as I glanced back at him.

“Good for you. He’s hot, I’d fuck him.” Ronnie said. _The message was clear, if I fucked up he had no problem going after Ryan as well._

“Look Ash.” Michael started before I held a hand up to cut him off.

“I’m not worried about that right now Michael. I’m more pissed off that my own cousin can’t seem to keep out of my relationship.” I said turning to glare at Luke. “He can go around fucking Calum or whoever else he wants without dating them. Then the second my _boyfriend_ writes a song saying he wants to fuck me, it’s reason to try to beat him up. I’m honestly getting tired of it, of this whole attitude he has about who I choose to date.”

“Ash, I.” Luke started.

“Save it Luke, I’m done. You’ve apologized for this same thing before. Actions speak louder than words. When you can prove to me that you won’t try anything, then we’ll be good again.” I said, getting up and walking back towards the others before I felt my phone go off in my pocket. I pulled it out and looked over the message.

**From Dickhead:** That was hot, you need to fuck out that frustration?

**To Dickhead:** That’s not the first time I’ve heard that, but not right now.

I slid my phone back in my pocket as I sat down next to Ryan. “I’ve dealt with him babe.” I said, kissing his cheek.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to let me know what you think, it really means a lot.


	45. All or Nothing

I relaxed into Ryan as he slid his arm around my shoulder. We enjoyed a few more performances before Pete and Patrick got told they were coming up. “Hey babe, I’ll be right back.” I whispered to Ryan as I noticed Pete looking anxious.

“Okay, do you need me to come with you?” he asked.

“No, it’s okay, I’ll be right back.” I answered, motioning for Pete to follow me as I started towards the door. I found a place where we would have some privacy before turning to him. “Are you okay?”

“No, I’m freaking out.” Pete said. “What if he hates it? Or hates me? This was a mistake.” He was starting to hyperventilate the more he freaked out, so I did the only thing I could think of. I pulled him close and kissed him, letting him take control immediately.

“Feeling better?” I asked when we pulled apart, receiving a nod. “He won’t hate it, or you, I swear. This was not a mistake. The worst that could happen is he doesn’t feel the same way, but he could never hate you.”

“Thank you.” He said.

“You’re welcome. We should get back in there though, you guys are going up any minute now.” I said, leading the way back in. I sat next to Ryan again as Pete, Patrick, Joe, and Andy headed up to go backstage.

“Everything good babe?” Ryan asked.

“Yeah, nothing to worry about.” I said as I started getting the camera on my phone to record set up.

“How come you had to go off with Pete.” He asked.

“Nothing important, he was just getting anxious.” I said, not wanting to go into detail before the performance.

“Pete doesn’t get nervous, why did you really go off?” he asked. “You know I won’t be upset if you guys wanted to fool around.”

“We weren’t fooling around, he really was nervous.” I said, getting a little annoyed.

“Fine, don’t tell me then. I just thought we decided not to keep secrets from each other.” He said, getting snippy.

“I’m not keeping secrets from you. If you don’t want to believe me, that’s on you.” I said, snapping at him. “Can we please just worry about this later? They’re about to go on and I really would prefer to record their performance instead of our argument.” He huffed but otherwise stayed silent. Soon enough they were walking out and I pressed record, nodding to Pete when I saw him look to me.

“Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman. Maybe he won't find out what I know; you were the last good thing about this part of town.” Pete started singing, Joe came in with guitar with perfect timing. Patrick however missed his cue and came in a note late, but quickly corrected himself. Pete glanced to Patrick as he sang “I wrote this for you.” Before turning back towards the crowd.

“I can’t believe this.” I heard Mikey say quietly. “Pete is actually admitting he has real feelings for someone other than himself.”

“Yeah, I can’t believe it either.” Ryan said, sounding pissed.

As the song came to an end I couldn’t keep the smile off my face, it had gone perfectly. I ended the video as they finished before getting up to head backstage. I found Pete immediately and jumped on him, hugging him. “Oh my god Pete, that was amazing. You did perfectly.” I said with a smile on my face, kissing his cheek.

“You know, you could have just told me instead of making me help you perform that song.” Patrick said from behind us, sounding hurt. I let go of Pete as we both turned to Patrick.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know how else to tell you.” Pete said, looking guilty.

“I should give you guys a minute.” I said, getting ready to walk away.

“No, it’s fine. I’d hate to come between the two of you.” Patrick started, causing Pete and I to exchange confused looks. “I just don’t get why you couldn’t just tell me you had feelings for him. And what about Ryan?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Pete asked.

“There’s nothing going on between the two of us.” I added.

“Well then why else would he write that song for you?” Patrick asked me.

“Oh my god Pat, he didn’t write it for me.” I said, giving Pete a look.

“Well who else would he write it for?” Patrick asked. Pete sighed before walking the few steps over to Patrick before pulling him in and kissing him. I decided to let them have their privacy as I walked back out to our group.

“So are you still gonna try to tell me you two weren’t fooling around?” Ryan asked, still sounding pissed as I sat next to him.

“Are you serious right now Ryan?” I asked.

“Of course I’m fucking serious, he wrote you a song.” Ryan said. I didn’t have a chance to reply though before Mikey spoke up.

“It wasn’t about Ash Ry, it was about Patrick.” Mikey said, making me look at him confused.

“How did you know?” I asked.

“Well the only people that Pete has shown any real care towards are me, you, and Patrick. The lyrics only fit you or Patrick though, and he wouldn’t have shown them to you if they were for you.” Mikey explained. I could see Ryan visibly calming down slightly, though still looked tense.

“Ashton.” I heard Pete call me from across the room.

“I’ll be right back.” I said, walking over and going outside with him. “So? How did it go?”

“Well I kissed him.” He said, continuing before I could reply. “He kissed back.”

“That’s great.” I said with a smile. “That means he likes you too.”

“Yeah, you’d think, but then he pushed me away.” He said looking a little upset. “He asked me why I did that. I told him how I felt, and he nodded and just walked away. I fucked everything up.”

“I don’t think you fucked everything up, he probably just got nervous or something. You’re his best friend, that will never change.” I said hugging him. I looked over his shoulder and noticed Patrick looking over at us and waved him over.

“Pete.” Patrick said softly, making Pete pull away from me.

“Pat, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.” Pete said before Patrick interrupted him.

“I broke up with Zack.” He said.

“What?” Pete asked, sounding confused.

“I broke up with Zack. I, I feel the same way, I just thought you never would. I know I should have said something instead of just walking away. I just didn’t know what else to do, I really like you.” Patrick said, looking down at the ground as he spoke.

“I really like you too.” Pete said with a smile. When neither of them said anything else, I pushed Pete towards Patrick. Pete stumbled for a second before catching himself and pulling Patrick in for another kiss.

“Woo, get some Pete.” Dallon yelled from where they were all standing by the doors. Pete and Patrick pulled apart with smiles as Pete wrapped his arm around Patrick’s shoulders.

“Well, I’d say this calls for a celebration.” I said, smiling at Pete. “Party at my house tomorrow night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to let me know what you think, it really means a lot.


	46. The Way That You Please

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I edited all my chapters some more and added a few things. So far I have only reposted up to chapter 15. The most notable changes are:   
> Ashton now has blue and green highlights in his hair.  
> Ashton now has snake bites.  
> Ashton now has a tattoo on his hand and on his neck.  
> I added more of Pete and Patrick's friendship.  
> Mikey and Ashton get slightly more physical.

**Ashton’s POV**

It had taken a little work, but I had finally convinced Zack to show up to the party. He was afraid that now that he and Patrick had broken up, we wouldn’t want him around anymore. I explained that wasn’t the case, and that he was still our friend. I looked at my phone when I heard a text come through.

**From Dickhead** : Don’t think I forgot that we were supposed to see each other this weekend.

**To Dickhead** : I’m not free today, there’s a party tonight. And no, you can’t come.

**From Dickhead** : When’s the party? I’m sure we can be done before then.

**To Dickhead** : I don’t have time, I’m free tomorrow. I’ll see you then.

I sighed and tossed my phone to the side as I set up. Once everything was set out, I went back to my room and pulled out my bag. I did a line and realized I was running low again, I would need to get more when I saw him tomorrow. I heard the doorbell ring and took a couple pills before locking everything back up and putting my bag back in the closet. When I opened the door, it was to see Zack standing there with a nervous smile.

“Hey, sorry if I’m a little early.” He said. I took a second to look him over, he looked good.

“Not a problem, the others should get here soon.” I said, stepping aside to let him in. “Would you like something to drink?” I asked, walking over to get myself one.

“Sure, I’ll have whatever you’re having.” He said, and I made one for him before handing it to him. “So, where’s Ryan? I figured that he’d be the first one here.”

“Not sure honestly, we kinda had a little spat last night.” I said, taking a sip as I slid up onto the table. I took another sip before putting my cup to the side and pulling Zack closer, so he was standing between my legs. “So what workouts do you do to get these kinds of muscles?” I asked, feeling his upper arms. I could see how nervous he was getting. Especially when he drank down about half of his drink before I pulled it away, setting his cup next to mine.

“Well, uh, it’s different things. Like I have a whole routine.” He said.

“I have a routine of my own.” I said, trailing my fingers down his chest. “We should compare routines sometime.” I could feel the sharp intake of breath.

“I, uh, are you flirting with me?” He asked, stumbling over his words.

“I’m doing a little more than flirting.” I said, leaning in to kiss him.

“But what about Ryan? I don’t want to come between the two of you.” He said just before I could connect our lips.

“Trust me, he’s fine with this. Now that you mention it though, I bet it would be amazing for you to come between us one of these days.” I said before pulling him in and kissing him. It took him a second before he was kissing back, allowing me to lead the motions. His moan went straight to my dick. If we hadn’t been interrupted by a knock on the door, clothes would have started coming off. I allowed him to pull away as I yelled for the person at the door to come in.

“Hey, Bren and Ry should be here any minute. We left about the same time.” Alex said once he was inside.

“Oh, uh, cool.” Zack said awkwardly before clearing his throat. I slid off the table with a smile and grabbed our drinks, handing him his.

“Here, relax a little. Grab a drink Lex, get comfortable.” I said as someone else came to the door. I opened the door to see Brendon and Ryan. I let them in, not bothering to say anything. Before I shut the door I noticed Pete pull up, I couldn’t keep the smile off my face as I watched him open the door for Patrick. It was obvious that they only had eyes for each other right now.

“I’m gonna need another drink.” Zack said from behind me.

“I’m sorry.” I said, realizing how he must feel.

“No, it’s okay. I kind of saw it coming, you’d have to be blind not to.” He said. Pete and Patrick finally noticed us. Patrick looked away guiltily.

“Zack. I, uh, hi.” Patrick said, obviously not expecting to see him. Zack waved as he finished his drink before going over to get another one. I decided to put on some music while everyone else started arriving. I was feeling pretty buzzed between drinking and what I had done before anyone had gotten here.

“Come on, dance with me.” I said, pulling Zack from where he was sitting after we had both had a couple more drinks. I could feel people watching me, but I didn’t care.

“Jack?” I heard Alex ask a little while later, after more people had started dancing.

“I’ll pass.” Jack said dismissively before turning back to his conversation with Frank. I motioned for Alex to join Zack and I, we were having fun and he seemed like he needed it. It was fairly innocent until the familiar start to _Bad Girlfriend_ began. I spared Ryan only a quick glance as I moved Zack’s hands to my hips, grinding against him. I pulled Alex closer as well, dancing between the two of them.

When the song was over I took Zack by the hand leading him towards the stairs, stopping for a second when I heard Jack call over Alex. “That was something babe, what do you say we get out of here?” Jack said to Alex. I looked at Zack for a second before cutting in when I noticed the look on Alex’ face.

“Nah, he’ll pass.” I said with a smirk before turning to Alex. “You coming Lex?” I heard Frank laugh as we started up the stairs.

“You really should have expected that Jack. You can’t expect.” Frank started, the rest getting cut off once we were out of earshot. When we got up to my room I made sure to lock the door.

“So, um.” I cut Zack off before he could say anything else by pulling him in by his belt loops and kissing him. I motioned for Alex, who came over and began kissing his neck. Neither of us pulling away as we walked towards my bed. When I undid his pants he pulled away. “Wait.” He said breathlessly.

“I don’t really think you want either of us to wait.” I said, sinking to my knees and running my hands along his thighs. Alex pulled him back, so he was sitting on the edge of my bed before going back to kissing his neck.

“I mean shouldn’t we talk about this first?” Zack asked, and I looked up at him.

“What’s there to talk about?” I asked pulling his pants down slightly, so they were out of the way, but leaving his boxers where they were.

“Wait, Zack, are you a virgin?” Alex asked. His silence told us both everything we needed to know. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“In fact, it’s kinda hot. I think you’re really gonna like this.” I said, pulling his boxers out of the way and taking him into my mouth. Alex led Zack’s hand to my hair as I sucked.

“Most guys love to have the guy they’re blowing play with their hair.” Alex told him. We both knew Zack wasn’t going to last long, and therefore I wasn’t surprised to feel him pull my head back by my hair.

“I’m close.” He said with an edge to his voice.

“I know you are, I want to taste you.” I said licking my lips to accentuate my point.

“Let him.” Alex said, kissing Zack as he pushed my head back down. It wasn’t much longer before Zack was coming and I swallowed everything. “That was hot, but I have to go now.” Alex said, checking the time.

“Next time I’ll take care of you too.” I told him as I stood up.

“Can guarantee it.” Alex said, placing a kiss to my cheek before leaving.

“What about you? You can stay the night if you want.” I said to Zack.

“Are you sure it’s alright.” He asked.

“Of course. I don’t have anything that’ll fit you though, so you’ll have to sleep in your boxers. I usually do too, so I hope that won’t be a problem.” I said, stepping closer as I pulled off my shirt.

“Uh, sure. I mean, okay.” Zack said. I watched him as he stripped down to his boxers before doing the same and crawling into bed with him.

“That was okay, right?” I asked as I curled up to him, a little worried that I had made him feel uncomfortable. It would have been one thing if it was just the two of us, but I had invited Alex without really checking with him.

“Yeah, it was better than okay.” He said, wrapping his arm around me as we drifted off. _I couldn’t even begin to explain, even to myself, the feeling of safe that I felt in his arms._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to let me know what you think, it means a lot.


	47. Better Off Dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone missed it, I did post a new chapter when I posted all the updated chapters the other day. I was gonna do the same thing before posting this one, but I got too impatient. So after I post these last two chapters I will be posting edited versions of all of the older chapters.

**Ashton’s POV**

I woke up to Zack still fast asleep next to me. I looked him over with a smile before deciding to get up and grab something for breakfast. I pulled on clothes before heading down to the kitchen and grabbing a banana for myself. I didn’t really know what to make for him, so I settled on some scrambled eggs and toast. Once it was done, I brought it back up and woke him up. “Morning.” He said as he sat up.

“Morning, I made you breakfast.” I said, holding out the plate to him. He smiled and started eating.

“Thanks.” He said.

“Anytime, do you need a ride home or anything?” I asked.

“Nah, I’ll walk. It’s not too far from here, only a couple blocks.” He said. Once he finished eating, I took the plate to the kitchen, allowing him to redress in private. I watched him as he walked down the stairs, back in the same clothes he had worn yesterday.

“Are you sure you don’t want a ride?” I asked, and he nodded. I pulled him in for a kiss, pulling away only a second later when there was a knock on the door. “Well, I’ll see you later then.” I said, walking him to the door. The door opened to reveal Ryan who looked between us.

“Yeah, I’ll see you later.” Zack said, going around Ryan who just watched him walk away. When he finally turned back to me I opened the door further, motioning for him to come in.

“He spent the night?” He asked once I had shut the door.

“Yeah, figured you knew as much when he didn’t come back downstairs last night.” I said, deciding to pick up from last night in an attempt to keep myself calm.

“Didn’t even know you guys were interested in each other.” He said, having an edge to his voice.

“Why wouldn’t I Ry? I mean have you seen him? He’s hot.” I said, stacking cups that seemed to be everywhere. “Plus I wanted to get his mind off of things with Patrick and Pete. And it’s not like you had any interest in talking to me last night, you ignored me.” I heard my phone signal a text but ignored it.

“That doesn’t mean you had to hook up with Zack, and Alex. Who, may I remind you, I introduced you too.” He said, raising his voice slightly towards the end. I set down the cups before turning to him. Another text came in and I ignored that one as well.

“If you want to know what happened, I didn’t even do anything with Alex.” I said, getting cut off by Ryan.

“Sure you didn’t, still you obviously did do shit with Zack.” He said.

“Yeah, I blew him, that’s it.” I said, making him roll his eyes at me.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Ryan said, causing my anger to spike.

“What the hell are you insinuating?” I asked, daring him to say something else.

“I’m not insinuating anything. I’m saying you’re keeping other things from me, why wouldn’t you keep this from me too? Blowjobs don’t usually end in sleepovers.” He said, motioning upstairs.

“I’m not fucking keeping anything from you. I wasn’t hooking up with Pete, I was helping him with the song for Patrick. And I fucking told you that I sucked Zack’s dick, if we had fucked I would have said so. He had been drinking and I offered him a place to sleep.” I started, getting cut off before I could continue as I heard my phone ringing. I huffed and pulled it out of my pocket only looking quickly to see the caller ID say Dickhead. I answered it, holding my hand up to Ryan. “I can’t talk right now, I’ll call you back later.” I said, not giving him a chance to reply before hanging up.

“Who the hell was that?” Ryan asked once I slid the phone back in my pocket.

“No one important.” I said, not wanting to get into that.

“Obviously someone important enough to answer the phone for in the middle of an argument.” He said, pissing me off.

“I only answered so that they wouldn’t keep calling. So that you could continue to yell at me about how I’m such a horrible boyfriend.” I snapped.

“Who the fuck was it?” Ryan asked, sounding annoyed.

“It doesn’t matter.” I said.

“Yeah, but you’re not keeping anything from me.” He said, walking out and slamming the door behind him. I went up to my room before screaming out my frustrations. _I need to get high._ I pulled out my bag, doing a line before taking my phone back out and calling Ronnie back.

“I thought I fucking told you not to hang up on me whore.” He said when he answered. _He sounds pissed. Why wouldn’t he be, everyone else is._

“Yeah you did, but I was in the middle of something and couldn’t talk.” I said, annoyed with everything.

“Cut the fucking attitude, I will not put up with it.” He said.

“Fine.” I said, deciding to keep it short.

“I’m on my way over, I expect you to be ready for me.” He said.

“Fine.” I repeated before hanging up again and walking over to the table. I grabbed the rum and took a long drink before setting it back where it had been. I heard a knock a few minutes later and let him in.

“I don’t have long before I need to head home.” He said, looking me over. “So how about we get high then you can blow me?” He did a great job of distracting me while he was here, but as soon as I left I starting thinking about the earlier argument. _Why did I have to push him away like that? We promised no secrets between us._ My mind wouldn’t stop racing as I decided to finish cleaning the mess. _Maybe if I take a few pills it’ll make the thoughts stop._ I pulled out the pills from Ronnie as I put the new bag he had given me in the box. I swallowed three pills before putting them back in as well and putting my bag back in the closet.

The bag hit into something, knocking it over. I pulled it out to see it was the other lockbox I kept in my closet, the one I hadn’t even thought about in almost a year. I stared at the box, willing myself to come up with a better idea. _Everything would be better if I wasn’t here. I’m a horrible boyfriend. A horrible friend. A horrible cousin. A horrible son._ My mind was made up, and I almost felt at peace as I went over to my desk, pulling out a notebook and an envelope. As I wrote the letter I felt my hand start shaking and realized I had started crying. _This is for the best. People will be happier when I’m gone._

I sealed the envelope, writing Ry on it before leaving it on my bed and grabbing the box from where I had left it on the floor. I put in the familiar combination and opened the box. I ran my fingers across it before pulling out the blade and putting the box back where I had found it. I closed myself in the bathroom before starting the bath. Stripping out of my clothes, I stared at myself in the mirror until I realized the water was high enough.

I sank down in the water, ignoring the sound of my phone going off. I pulled the blade across my wrists, feeling the familiar burn that I hadn’t felt in too long. _I cut deep enough, soon no one will have to worry about me._ Feeling the blade slip from my fingers, I laid my head back. My head was starting to go fuzzy, I needed to close my eyes. I thought I heard the doorbell as everything started to go black. _It’s too soon._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to let me know what you think, it means a lot.


	48. Here's Your Letter

**Ryan’s POV**

I couldn’t help feeling guilty about everything, even though I knew it wasn’t all my fault. I hated that he kept trying to pull away, I thought we were doing well until he started keeping things from me. I checked my phone to see that my text to him was still left unanswered. _Maybe he_ _hasn’t checked his phone._ I pressed the call button, expecting him to either ignore it or pick up. Instead it rang until his voicemail answered. _Fine, if he doesn’t want to check his phone, then I’ll go to his house in person._ I got in my car after sliding my phone in my pocket and made the short drive over.

After receiving no answer when I rang the doorbell and knocked, I got a little worried seeing as his bike was still parked in the driveway. Trying the door, I realized it was still unlocked. I went in, calling his name as I searched the house. My worry only grew the longer I couldn’t find him. I checked his room to see an envelope on his bed with Kye written sloppily on the front. My hands were shaking as I ran to the bathroom praying that the envelope didn’t mean what I thought it meant.

When I opened the door to see him lying in the bathroom, I heard someone scream. It took too long for me to realize that the scream had come from my own mouth. I ran over to him, tears already rushing down my face. _He looks so pale aside from the red leaking down his arms. Please let him be alive. I need him. I love him._ My hands continued shaking as I dug my phone out and dialed Brendon while I tried to find a pulse.

“B, I need you to come to Ash’s house. I, I need you to drive.” I choked out through my tears.

“What’s wrong Ry? Why are you crying? Did you guys get in another fight?” Brendon asked. I could hear him moving around in the background, so I knew he was already on his way.

“Please just come now.” I said before hanging up. I tossed my phone to the side, finally finding a pulse. It was slow and weak, but it was there. I lifted Ashton out of the tub and dressed him by the time Brendon walked in. When he saw me sitting there, my clothes already soaked red in places, he immediately understood my duress. He helped me move Ashton to the car before driving us to the hospital. It was while we were sitting in the waiting room that I finally read the letter.

 

_Ryan,_

_I’m sorry for how everything has turned out. I never meant to hurt you. You were the first guy to ever make me feel this special. I can’t stand living with the pain I’ve put you through, let alone everything else I’m dealing with. Please don’t hate me for not being strong enough to make it through this. I could never be as strong as you are, you’re one of the strongest people I know._

_Tell Mikey to grab the bag out of my closet, I don’t need my parents or Luke to find any of that when they clean out my things. Tell him I’m sorry to him too, he’s my best friend and I couldn’t even properly say goodbye to him. I love him so much, but I can’t put myself through that pain too. Not after I’m finished writing this one, and I needed to write you this letter._

_Don’t let Pete mess things up with Patrick, they’re perfect for each other. I really think that if anyone can get Pete to clean up his act it would be Pat. And make sure that Patrick knows not to let Pete fuck shit up, he’s got all the control there._

_Tell Frank and Gerard thank you for everything they’ve done for me. And tell them I’m sorry for all the shit that I put them through too._

_You guys have made the time that I’ve known you all amazing, but the truth is that I was fucked up before you ever met me. I put on a fake smile and tried to tell everyone that I was happy. I figured if I convinced enough people, maybe I could eventually convince myself. It never worked, but you did. You managed to make me happy, and for_ that _I can never thank you enough. I’m so sorry that it wasn’t enough._

_I’ve had problems for years, this just happens to be the year that it all finally became too much. Problems that I thought I had taken care of, came back, along with new problems I never could have guessed would show up._

_Please take my phone and call Liam, Zayn, Harry, Louis, or Niall. They deserve to know, and I was too scared to call or text them. They need to know I love them, they have always been family, and no one could ever replace them._

_I’ve acted like an asshole these past few days, I’m sorry to everyone I’ve hurt. I’m sorry for all the hurtful words and especially my actions. Please remember me not by those actions but of all the happy memories we shared; like when we were driving in your car. You were wearing your leather jacket and sunglasses. I thought you looked absolutely stunning and just had to take a picture of you. You didn’t even realize until I had already taken it and started laughing because you were so focused on everything else._

_God, I’m sorry that this has gotten so messed up, I tried to keep my thoughts organized. Please just, don’t hate me for what I had to do. I am so sorry._

_Ashton_

_P.S. – I love you, so much. I’m so sorry I could never say that to you in person._

 

Once I had finished reading the letter I choked down a sob as I read it over again. _How could he ever think I could hate him? I loved him too. Why didn’t I ever tell him that? Why did I let so much time pass without telling him how I really felt?_ I wiped my tears once I realized they were dripping onto the page, _I can’t let them smear his words_. Brendon was currently away from me for the first time since he had gotten to Ashton’s, so that he could call and let everyone know. I folded the letter and slid it into my jacket when I heard the someone enter the waiting room.

“For Ashton Irwin?” She asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please take the time to let me know what you think, it really means a lot.
> 
> Please don't kill me Rockstqr, there's a sequel coming.


	49. AUTHOR'S NOTE

Chapter one of the sequel is now up. You can find it by pressing the link that says next work in the series, by going to my page, or by going here:  
  
https://archiveofourown.org/works/16688437/chapters/39137869


End file.
